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So I guess my question is: Of you guys that have failed in your ambitions, why have you failed? And therefore what do you think it takes to take you to that level and what will you change?
I expect a lot fewer to answer the next question, for those of you who have achieved all of what you wanted to achieve, apart from the routines what got you to where I want to be and where we all want to be now?
And for those who have failed, join me in changing your life to the one you know it can be, after all, its the reason we are all here now.
Hey mate,
I used to be different. I used to be just a regular guy. Quite talkative, but shy around girls. I had this idea that you have to be just plain cool to get girls. You had to have amazing looks and just be popular. also, i figured that women wanted a mysterious somebody, but he had to be a nice guy. Just being overtly sexual was not done!
I changed a lot because i wanted to change. However, most of the things that mattered to me back then (values etc) are still valuable to me. I think PUA and seduction (who are two different things for me btw) broadened my horizons, gave me new insights.
I started out like so many, with routines. I conquered my shyness pretty fast, however the anxiety of approaching never really goes away entirely. As of today, it still gives me a thrill. I brainstormed on routines, adapted them to different situations, went out and tried it.
On several occasions i had witty responses for bitch shields written on tiny papers in my wallet. I felt like a boss. The first time i actually needed them, it came to me that it is just weird to grab my wallet, pull out a tiny paper and say a line. So i crashed. Lots of times.
Fast enough (i think 6 months) though i could open anybody. and i did. I went out all by myself, making one night friends along the way. With some trickery, i managed to go out and not pay for a single drink. I can say i opened hundreds of sets, solo women on countless occasions. However, i didnt manage to get laid. Many opportunities passed me by. Kissing opportunities, kino opportunities even plain obvious fucks. And i would go home alone, thinking, sobbing.
My biggest problem back then was that i lacked the balls to go sexual. that is the core of what went wrong. I was a wooly vagina.
On hte other side, i did learn amazing social skills and i ended up in a relation with a HB2000. She was everything i looked for, and more: a big liar. the relationship ended dramatically for me, but i was at a point where i just didnt care anymore. I read about honesty ('radical honesty' changed my life) and mode one. From one day to another, i just made the switch. that is what changed me.
I threw away all that was ego for brutal honesty. do mind, it was brutal but not without respect nor rude. I just told everybody what was on my mind. I lost a lot of what i though to be friends. I gained a few good friends, which has grown into very deep friendships.
I also decided to just do the same towards women. So i went out and just did it. I went out, went looking for the women i found very attractive and i opened them with lines like:
- hey, yeah, look, i think you are hot as hell / smoking hot/ very sexy/ really attractive! i want to get to know you.
- hey, sorry to interrupt you while you are doing whatever it is you are doing, but you turn me on. I want to get to know you, sexually. Lets go for a sauna on thursday.
stuff like that. sometimes i went 'over the line x-rated' and sometimes i just was direct in what i wanted. depending on how i felt. I opened sets like that, totally ignoring everybody else, male or female, just focussing on the girl i though was hot. People addressed me about it, people from the set, bypassers, friends of mine, i got a lot of critique on what i did. But i never got bitchslapped. Just one time i got drinks on me. That is it! Once out of... i dont know how many.
So you might say practice and just going out there is what got me where i am now. And where am i now? The total of women i slept with is not big at all. I had a number of one night swings, but that didnt really made it for me. Unsatisfying for a reason.
For the last couple of years i am able to make a target and i am pretty confident that i get what i want. Its not a 100% success rate, but if i had to put a number on it, i would say 80%. I chose quality over quantity, heavily qualifying, creating high quality fuck buddy relationships. Good looks alone doesnt do it anymore like it used to do. What i want is killer looks with diabolic sexuality.
I have not achieved all i wanted and i think i never will. There are a few women i badly want to have sex with, but seemingly i cant get. While it stings that i cant seem to get them, it comforts me when i think 'its their loss'.
On the other side, all of my fuckbuddies were and are girls/women from whom i thought: i want you, badly.
I tried to shed some insight into my world. I figure it might look a bit chaotic though. Still, i think it might be valuable.
In short:
- why i used to fail: because of myself and my fears.
- how did i end up where i am now: because i threw away all the 'what ifs' and just did. I switched from doing what is required of me to doing what i really wanted to do. Just do.
So what would i advice? go out and do. deliberately cross your limits of what you think is acceptable and what is not, as long as you dont break the law ofcourse. Example: plain telling a woman that i want sex was not done for me.
Be honest towards others (which is the easy part) but also be honest towards yourself. Excuses were a great barrier for success in my story. Perseverance, as in: go for what you want and let nothing stop you, but on the other hand: know when you have to stop. Example: if you tell a woman you want sex with her, just like that, and she says no and walks away, that is pretty clear she doesnt want to. State what you wnat, dont enforce what you want.
Pff, i hope this is coming through

. if not, or something is not clear, shoot!
good luck!