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Hey guys,
I am in the minority on this website when it comes to sex, I don't place it high in my life. I love sex, it is awesome it is fun, but there are things far more important than sex going on in my life. As a guy that refuses to publicize my private life to the internet I get a lot of static (criticism), on my website, on this forum, on my videos, even on my facebook fan page I've had people say that I was some loser that can't get laid. It really doesn't matter to me that much when someone has animosity toward me and says "You can't get laid." Honestly what is the obsession with needing to get laid? People around here measure your value by your sex life, does that really make sense? Don't forget you are full of shit if you don't post field reports, is the mentality.
Go over this in your head one time: What is the attitude of the guy who gets laid a lot in regards to sex? It's NO BIG DEAL, that attitude is a part of his assets when it comes to his ability to get laid. Someone who comes on here and spreads his sex life around, his closing rate, him fucking x girls in x days shows nothing but a lack of confidence and a huge ego. Why do you need to qualify for us? Who the fuck are we that it matters that you got laid x many times in x many days?
I am kind of getting just down right tired of this form of measurement in the community, so many dick measuring contests around here. One of the big reasons I don't post too often on here (in 5 years I have 1100 posts). Everyone has this obsession with the guy who gets laid the most, or being the guy who gets laid the most. The irony of all of it is your obsession with getting laid ultimately works against you, the times when I was in a dry spell were times when I was unhappy and constantly thinking about getting laid. How do I have to approach her? What should I say? Bla Bla Bla - all these bull shit thoughts got in the way of actually getting laid. Why? Because getting laid is easy, it's you that makes getting laid hard. People don't realize getting laid is more about getting out of your own way then doing all the right shit when you have good attractive traits. A woman more easily forgives a man she is attracted to when he makes mistakes throughout courtship.
Rather than worrying about getting laid and forcing things, learn to just have attractive habits (this can be tedious but worth it) and escalate - that's it. Don't worry about getting laid, forcing it and thinking about and only worrying about it won't make you happy. Define what you want and go after that, whether that is to fuck 10 girls, or 100, whether that is to find a wife, a girlfriend, or whatever else. You knowing what you want in your love life will help you birds eye everything.
Happiness thought: Do you think guy A who has fucked 1000 girls is happier then guy B with a wife, 2 kids, and a dog? It all depends on what the guy wanted, the guy who is happiest defines what he wants and goes after it. That's cool you want to fuck 50 girls whatever, but in my experiences when you are running up your numbers you aren't making yourself happier (in fact when I was going through them fast my life was way more stressful). Your actions can make you happy or not but that is up to you. My personal happiness isn't defined by the amount of girls I sleep with, it never will be, perhaps your happiness is linked to fucking 100s of women that is cool too, it's just not for me.
Two things I think a lot of people miss on here are: You obsessing with getting laid won't get you laid, and You getting laid won't make you happy.
Your belt notches don't make you "The Man" or happy. You aren't the shit because you fucked 2000 women, you aren't the man from fucking a few drunk women a week. Every fishermen knows if you go fishing every day you catch fish everyday, if you stay out until you hit your quota then you'll get your quota everyday. Similarly once you hit a certain point you can go out on any night in a metropolitan area (need options) and go get laid because getting laid isn't that fucking difficult. Obsessing over getting laid is what makes it difficult.
My next statement plays more off the fishermen thought, each fishermen has his own technique and thus the time it will work, some of us go fishing at night and some of us go fishing during the day. Just because a person doesn't go to the bar every weekend doesn't mean he doesn't get laid. Going to the club isn't the only place to pick up girls. That was another response that has happened multiple times and even recently when I was attacked on here. You probably don't even go out. What the fuck does going out at night have to do with getting laid? Not one fucking thing. SDLs are a lot more difficult than SNL no doubt but you can create a lengthy list of phone numbers and still get laid with regularity by regular every day game. You can collect "leads"(numbers) to get laid anywhere: I've got numbers at work (co-workers and customers), fast food restaurants, sit down restaurants, bus rides, airplane, and even walking down the street.
So guys stop obsessing about all the bull shit when comes to getting laid, learn some sexual escalation and tension techniques, but focus on yourself and revealing how attractive you are to others.
It's not about getting laid, or club game, or night game, it is about just being happy. Get over your numbers, get over your ego, and get over close rate. Just be happy and attractive, that will get you laid because to anyone that has gotten fair amount of tail getting laid is just NO BIG DEAL. Take on that attitude you'll be happier and more appealing to women.
Peace and Love,
Vic
EXCELLENT, Think about it a guy with abundance of women(is not obsessed of thinking of getting laid) that in turn is attractive, and will bring more and higher quality girls to the life.
Vs. A guy that display scarcity ( i have to go out and get laid, it has to happen)
The numbers mentality to show you are better than someone else as measurement of success is silly, unfortunately sometimes you have to use this card in the community for people specially newbies to listen to you. Which is the rich dad poor dad mentality, let me elaborate:
1.- a dude drives a ford 2005 paid off ( 1 million in assets)
2.- a dude drives a mercedes 2012 (50,000 in assets)
They both show up for a real estate listing... The client will assume the dude driving the mercedes is more successful...(this effect is explained in the book that you read poetic "influence the psychology of persuasion) and there relies your answer of why people have to go into bragadocious rampage, but you fail to realize is that game recognizes game, and game recognizes bsers and copy cats...Eventually they shoot themselves in the foot...
Again this is a repost from Mark Manson the author of models:
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The Pathologies of the Pick Up Artist
There is absolutely NOTHING normal about what a Pick Up Artist does or why he does it. Dating advice is one thing. Self improvement is another. But quantifying your social and emotional life and then measuring it against others online and for money will murder your soul. Plain and simple.
In the beginning picking up women can be a science, but the better you get, the more it becomes an art. Once guys pass a certain threshold or so, the only thing that differentiates them is style. This style is based mostly on your personality and what types of women you like. Improvement only exists in adapting your objective skill-set to your subjective desires. Any sort of “next step” is actually more of a lateral movement, rather than moving up.
Beyond getting the first couple lays, quantifying “game” in any sense approaches the impossible — completely subjective and any arguments about skill-levels, quality, consistency, or styles is arguing past one another — like claiming heavy metal is better than rap just because… well, just because.
Over the years, I’ve dated women that other guys think are hideous. I’ve dated women that guys who don’t know me literally come up to me in bars and give me high fives when she’s not looking. There are a lot of women that most guys consider “hot” that I have absolutely no interest in, and vice-versa.
What I’m getting at, is once you become consistent, the only real metric for “success” is your own satisfaction. We’re always playing a numbers game, and once you get your % up to 1/10 or above, really any objective measure of skill kind of becomes pointless.
Once your % passes that magic threshold, it’s really just a matter of how much time and effort you’re willing to dump into your sex life. Some of us dump a lot of time and effort. Most don’t.
For this reason, the idea of “who is the best?” Or who can close the most consistently, or who has the best club game, the best day game, etc. — it’s a bunch of nonsense and as my friend Doc used to say, “Dick crack.” It gets a bunch of competitive and horny guys and their egos excited. But at the end of the day, whether I can lay a girl in 50 minutes and you need two dates is pointless. If my girl has a 9 body and a 5 face and yours has a 6 body and 8 face is pointless.
You’re getting sucked into the validation trap, which turns into a very dark place if you stay there long enough.
The fact is, what is perceived as “the community,” is merely a loud minority. An elitist and somewhat pathological minority.
You don’t end up in the Pick Up Artist community unless you are incredibly unhappy or unsatisfied about something. It may be conscious, it may be unconscious. It may be short-term, or it may be deep-seated and long-term. But the fact is, the community acts for a lot of men as a diversion or scapegoat from dealing with their real issues — their emotional issues.
As men, we’re experts at rationalizing painful feelings away — we hate dealing with them. For a lot of men, all these eBooks and audio courses merely act as rationalizations — a way to escape for a little bit longer, a way to logically solve the unsolvable. Emotions aren’t quantifiable or objective, so these men band together in attempt to quantify and objectify their emotional lives together, under the auspices of “improvement.”
And by their shared metrics, improve they do. “I had my first SNL.” “I banged my first 9 last night.” Etc. But there’s no yardstick for happiness, fulfillment, meaning or significance. This may sound lame and campy, but when you’ve met as many miserable guys with 100+ lays as I have, you may take it seriously.
Some of them forget… they forget that there’s a whole life to these interactions behind the objectification and quantification. They enter the validation trap — where a cocaine-addicted stripper has more value than a Plain Jane with a Ph.D, where a threesome has more value than an engagement ring, where things like acne scars or B-cup tits suddenly become deal-breakers in a relationship.
The PUA community at large is a bubble — it has a propensity to become elitist and to project its own desires and intentions onto everyone else.
They glorify their goals, try to deduce other’s actions and desires into base sexual needs, scoff at guys who don’t get into it as “AFC’s” and look down upon newbies who give up and leave as quitters and men who aren’t “man enough” to persevere the hundreds of rejections just to get their dick wet more often. Yet most guys are pretty damn content with a couple of nice girls and a plain-Jane girlfriend who loves them.
CHAT
