Dear Zip,

1) Think back to all the times you were in a man's car on the way to your date location, or his house. What are the three most important things he can say or do in the car to make you feel comfortable?

2) I've noticed that there are definite and distinct dips in energy level as you progress through a conversation. Have you experienced this before? They occur about once every half hour, when either he or you just feel "drained" from talking and laughing so much. The vibe is strong until that point. With this in mind, what are some of the ways you or your man overcame this?

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afc-challenge-to-the-masters-social-anx ... 10108.html

1.) keep the physical connection going in a non-creepy way. I've had a guy press on the break a bit too hard and do the soccer mom brace arm reach over thing... which turned out to be really funny and a great transition into some other things.

Also, give me a job. If you're in charge of driving, give me the radio or music selection. You could probably get a few good negs in there too if my musical tastes are a bit to '87 for you.

2.) It's almost impossible to overcome this 100% of the time. Use the dips in conversation to your advantage. A way you can really bump up the sexual chemistry is to own silence with non-verbal. It's also a gage women use to see if they are really comfortable with someone.... silent moments aren't awkward if you're in comfortable company.

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- Zip

Zip.

Would you rather have a man who is upfront about his emotions and feelings towards you (relationship wise) but isn't clingy and needy, or a man who enjoys playing games, keeping you semi-aware of how he feels about you?

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Amor est Vitae Essentia

Definitely the former. I'm not one for talking about "feelings" with guys, but if everyone's in the clear about shit... it's just better for all parties.

The guys I play games with... those only last for a few weeks because it gets real old real quick. Playing games is for attracting someone. Being in a relationship with someone is a whole different ball game.

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- Zip

My feelings exactly, I prefer a woman who does the same. It really does clear the air, and makes room for a deeper more intimate connection. With the games aside, you can really really get to know someone.

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Amor est Vitae Essentia

Zip.

If you like sushi, I was in the city last night and had the FUCKING best seaweed salad, sushi, and sashimi I've ever had. A little place called Natsumi, on 50 or 51st street, 7th ave. If you haven't tried it, GO!

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Amor est Vitae Essentia

Thanks for the suggestion:

I've totally been there, several times. It's Bway and 50th... I used to meet my best friend there every Thursday after work. Next time you're in the city sarging and whatnot, let me know, damnit!

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- Zip

Will do!

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Amor est Vitae Essentia

Do you like it when a man states his interest in you, or is it better when you both just play the game until you get to the point that things start to get physical and he kisses you to show his intent?

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Good question. Once a guy says that he's playing the game... game over. If you say that you are interested, I will start trumping you as a sort of pre LMR. When first meeting, it's better to just "start [getting] physical" and see what happens.

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- Zip

There's a girl that has shown interest in me in all but openly saying it, even making some sexual references at just the right moments and giving tons of IOIs. I've been running solid game so far and she knows I'm a PUA and is even interested in being my wing/pivot and helping me run workshops (she's a big fan of psych like me). She's currently living across the country, but said that she's gonna move to my city in january and was going on about things we will do together and such.

I'd just like to be sure that she will actually move out here like she has planned, because it will be leaving everything she currently has behind. So, I keep getting the urge to tell her the things I want to do to her when she gets out here, or even just that I'm interested in something when she does come out her, but my instincts tell me this is a bad idea and I'll probably end up cockblocking myself and losing attraction without being able to take immediate action.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Tricky situation. Here is exactly what I would do if I were you:

Keep doing what you are doing until she gets her ass over to where you are. Don't tell her "the things you want to do to her." You can imply all you want, but you should keep your culpability out of it. If she calls you on anything, this way, you'll be able to keep running game on her until she's there with you.

Once she's there... I think you know how to handle it.

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- Zip

Thanks Zip, good advice.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

I'd like to point out, that if she's just moving where you live and found you is one thing, but if she is moving where you live BECAUSE of you, is something totally different, and potentially INSANE, especially if you aren't encouraging her to do so, and willing to accept the responsibility that having someone move across the country to be with you involves.


worlds longest run on sentence? I think so!

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"He who risks the most, wins the most"

This is true. She's not crazy in a bad way from what I've been able to figure out, but she's crazy enough in the right ways.

She was talking about moving out here to get a better paying job and be able to snowboard and then planning on moving to the same city I am to go to school for the same thing I am. So, I did a bit of convincing and she's hooked and talks about dragging me along to go boarding with her and running workshops with me. It was around that time that she told me that she's bi and that her ex didn't even really like her having really good girl friends because he was paranoid of it, but she knows I don't mind and said it in an implied 3some sort of way, what with the running pickup together.

She was interested in moving out her before, but I definitely sweetened the pot. Offered my help in finding a job because I drive around for work and see a lot of places looking for people to hire. I also offered a place to stay for a week or so while she finds a place to live and everything. I figure it's a short walk from the couch in the livingroom, to the bed in my bedroom.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye