| There are a few topics that are debated on the forum over and over. One of them is natural vs indirect game. The other is routines vs no routines. And then we have, oh my material is outdated, how many have read that book, do I have to neg, etc etc.
Id like to say something about them.
Most people who start out here suck. Really suck, that is not an insult but a comment, and it is nothing wrong with that, of course people such when they have no experience. Then another kind of people doesnt suck at the very beginning, they do something that works but they have no idea why it works.
The first class of people tends to favor indirect game based on theories and rules, the second class seem to favor natural game, you dont have to care about rules, just be a cool guy.
Again, there is nothing wrong with that, people will choose the path that feels best for them.
Now when the average AFC joins the game, they sit down and read, gather material and then try it out in field. Hooray, it works, they exclaim in joy and all is well. In some cases people dont try anything and never progress, thats just sad, those guys never got the chance to max out their potential.
Anyways, after gathering material you start learning more and more techniques, routines, theories, nuggets and whatnot. The more you learn the better you get, and all is well.
After a while, you start putting together your own cheat sheet with a lot of different tricks and routines and stuff that flows naturally, you know what routine will lead to what and when to use what neg and whatever. You get a certain flow into your game and you can easily go out there and repeat whatever your cheatsheet tells you and you will start getting more than one girl, and all is well.
Then you start thinking that, hey, those routines are lame, I could make my own routines and nobody will ever know I am a PUA. You start making your own routines and know how to create stuff that works at least as well as what others have supplied. And all is well.
A word on routines and PUAs before we move on. A ROUTINE is defined as something you do often, it doesnt have to be a routine routine, it can be the fact that you always recieve your drink with the left hand and pay with your right, it can be that you always smile at the end of a story or it could be something you like to talk about. On being a PUA, why be ashamed about that, we will inherit the earth.
Now you start realizing that even though you did everything right, there was a girl who was just too stupid and didnt understand that she was supposed to get attracted. Then you start seeing that your routines doesnt work as well as they used to. Somehow, your negs are too hard and your routines are too long. You dont get why that girl stopped listening and you feel like you have lost your mojo.
All is not well.
You go back to scratch and you improve your routines, check that they have all the little things in them that you want them to have and you still cant get things to work as it used to. Whatever is wrong with this picture? After a few months of despair and manly crying in the shower, you go on the forum and ask, do i really HAVE to use negs?
Bingo.
You dont.
You dont have to do anything. What you have started to do is overselling it.
Lets take an example of that:
- A guy comes up to you and says, would you mind taking my sister out for dinner? The sister is hot and well, why not right?
- A guy comes up and says, would you take my sister on a date, Ill pay? Well, still ok, why not?
- A guy comes up and says, hey, please please date my sister, she is really hot and nice and doesnt have any STDs or anything. She is also great at giving blowjobs and Ill pay you a hunderd bucks if you do it. She is a trained nurse and she will clean your house and she can hold her breath for 10 minutes. Now thats just scary right? When someone oversells something that looks good, it probably has some terrible flaw that you can see, its suspicious. You dont go for that.
So why are you overselling yourself when you are doing the same thing that you have always done?
Because something has changed. Your experience has increased, your confidence has gone up. You are different.
Before you may have needed a routine to show that you are a leader of men, but now maybe it is obvious. Maybe before you had a girl, you had to bring that up as a routine but now that you have more experience in that, it is obvious by the way you behave around women, behave naturally I mean.
Doing the same things that you have always done is like saying, I have dated that girl. And that, and that, and her, and her sister, and her mother, and your mother, and the one on stage. It becomes suspicious.
So what to do? How to solve this problem? You will have to do what every PUA should learn, you gotta shut up and listen to her. Learn the language of girls and learn to feel what she means instead of listening to the words she says. Someone said that girls communicate through feelings rather than words, that is true. Learn to read that.
You need to learn what "Switches" you behavior alone flips and which ones you need to flip manually. You learn this by watching her response to what you do. Focus on that.
In the beginning I was the same. I used to think about what I had to do in order to get her interested, what pieces I had to put together and I made sure I used them all.
Nowadays I see it differently. I start by checking what I have to work with. What pieces are already there? I dont think about what what I can use but rather what I can skip.
I skip as much as I possibly can and if I have miscalculated something, Ill just add that.
So my advice to you guys who find yourself in this very situation is to adopt a less is more attitude. Dont overdo it, figure out what you can skip and not. Game as often as possible but when you do, game as "little" as possible. Meaning that you try using as little material as possible and figure out what pieces you already have by just being yourself.
Hope this helps. _________________ I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.
bbardot: you just reminded me about porn
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