Yesterday was probably the weirdest and most memorable day since I decided to become a PUA. So memorable that I find it worthy of posting my first field-report.
So far I restrained from writing reports for several reasons, but mostly because I believe that I didn´t have anything to report that is unusual enough. After all who want´s to read about just another kiss close or f close like many others. Would be boring…
But all my exploits where topped today in such an outrageous (and fucking painful) way that I figure it might entertain you guys to read about it…
I was walking down Colognes main shopping street late in the afternoon yesterday, all happy with myself. I just came from a great afternoon date with this super-elegant afghan Lady (not all of them are crazy ragheads as you might know) I had picked up at a florists the day before. We had been sunbathing in a nearby park and I had done more then well, meaning there was not only some serious kino going on, but we parted with a long kiss that promises passionate sex the next time we meet. I was (I am lol) more then happy with myself, for my game had been immaculate with this woman named Gina, from the first moment on. I was so exited that I couldn´t simply go home, so I decided to stroll through the crowded city centre as I often do. Not to game anyone, but simply to enjoy the tons of eye-candy roaming the streets. Cologne really is full of gorgeous girls and women!
As I said my spirits where high thanks to the date with Gina and I walked around with a big grin plastered to my face. Loads of people passed by minding their own shopping business, when I saw two cute girls coming towards me. I really only noticed one of them, a short young woman with long brown hair a face to die for and a no less then spectacular body. I just had to stare. Her big boobs were stuffed into a tight black tank-top and her skin tight stretch jeans revealed her shapely thighs and bubble butt (that I only saw later though). That girl was a showstopper guys! So I stare at her grinning and as she comes closer she makes eye-contact and smiles back in a way that makes my heart skip a beat. As she´s just about to pass by (and I´m about to say something to her) a male voice from behind her barks “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!!!” Stopped me in my tracks! I realize that about a meter behind the two girls there are these two guys following them. One tall and sporty looking, the other a young bodybuilder easily half my age, bit shorter then me, but pumped up to be twice as wide. He was the one that barked at me. I was in a way to upbeat mood to realize the danger I´m in, also I couldn´t believe anything real bad could happen at 4 in the afternoon in front of literally hundreds of eyewitnesses. Stupid me! Since I was a teen I always had to have the last word no matter what. That got me into loads of fights as a younger man (that I usually lost haha) but I obviously always refused to learn my lesson from it.
So the following “conversation” ensued…
Amog: What the fuck are you looking at?!!!
Picun: (pointing at the HB) Are you kidding me? Look at her, she´s gorgeous! Give me one good reason why I shouldn´t look at her!
Amog: (real aggro) Because she´s my girl and if you don´t walk on I´ll smash your face in!
Picun: Wow… (turning to face the HB and going for my wallet, taking out my business card with a big smile) Hey listen Sweetie, if you ever feel like hanging out with a guy who´s man enough not to feel threatened by random dudes in the street… (holding out the card towards the HB) …give me a call!
The HB gives me a startled but amazed look while I´m still giving her a cocky smile. The Amog leaps towards me, grabs the card from my fingers and throws it away, while pushing me away with one the other hand, yelling something like “Fuck off!”. I ignore him by keeping eyecontact with the HB.
Picun: (still grinning, pointing at the Amog) See what I mean!
The HB laughs out loud, but in the same moment the Amog takes a swing at me! It felt like a freight-train crashed into the side of my head... My field of vision shrivels to the size of a pea, everything goes black and white and I feel my knees giving in, all within a split second. I tumble backwards and fall. The blow didn´t knock me unconscious but I still was unable to move for what seemed like aeons. My senses where too blurred to really check what´s going on around me. By the time I was able to stand up again, with the help of some bystanders, the HB and her steroid-bomber boyfriend were gone. Apparently one of the guys that helped me up had dragged the Amog away from me before he could kick the shit out of me and other good people threatened to call the cops, so my attacker took off. Someone asked me if I need an ambulance and if he should call the police anyway. But I really just wanted to go home, since I wasn´t really injured.
I walked to my flat with a massive headache building up and when I arrived I saw in the mirror that my right temple turned dark blue and the entire right side of my face had swollen up impressively. I got myself some ice-cubes wrapped them in a towel and sat on my bed where I eventually nodded off.
I was woken by the sound of my cell-phone ringing, unknown number on the display.
Picun: Yes?
HB: Errr… Hi, this is Yvonne. Am I talking to …(my real name)?
Picun: Yes. Who are you?
HB: I´m the girl that got you beaten up.
Picun: Oh… (I was thinking NO WAY DUDE!!! Let´s play!)
HB: Listen, I picked up your card while Lars was all over you. I just wanted to make sure you´re okay. I´m so sorry!!!
Picun: That´s sweet.
HB: He´s such an asshole! I really feel guilty for what happened…
Picun: You better! Running into you guys wasn´t exactly the most pleasant part of my day!
HB: Yeah I know, and I´m so terribly sorry about it! I really want to make it up to you!
Picun: Yeah right. So what do you propose then?
HB: I could come over to your place. Your address is on your card…
Picun: I don´t think that´s a good idea, you are obviously trouble. Besides I look and feel like I just got run over by a truck.
HB: Oh come on, I´ll make you feel better I promise!
Picun: Do whatever you feel you have to do. But I need to rest, so if you came by you couldn´t stay for long. But thanks for caring. It´s kind of you to call anyway.
HB: Okay, yeah sure… Bye!
Half an hour later she was at my doorstep!!!
Okay guys this is not a lay report, but let me still say this much. She DID make up for what her “boyfriend” did to me. Not one but 3 times!

She has the most perfect and arousing body I EVER fucked and she made sure she did all the work (since I was “injured” right? Lol). However I´m reluctant to see her again. Not so much because I worry that “Lars” could pay me a visit too (which is rather possible), but mostly because when she guessed my age (I´m 42, so when she said 33 I answered “close”) and I guessed hers (21 I assumed) she told me she´s only 17! What a little… Never mind
The legal age for having consenting sex in Germany is 16, so I didn´t commit a crime here. But still, at least for my taste,this felt morally wrong. A couple of weeks ago I commented on a thread where the topic “what´s your bottom age?” was discussed and I pleaded strongly for NOT messing with underage girls, so the revelation of her age did come as a shock to me. More so when she told me she has to go home. She didn´t want her Mom to worry where she is, because she has to go to school tomorrow... Her Mom! School!!! FUCKING HELL!!!!!!!
I didn´t know better before I let Yvonne fuck my brains out (kinda literally considering what my head still feels like), but I maybe should have clarified the age thing before, so I do feel like a dirty old man a bit. But then again it was soooo good… But I´m overthinking this maybe. After all she didn´t say she intends to see me again.
So this is the story of how getting punched out by some youngster with anger management issues led to screwing the most gorgeous (and-shame on me- youngest) female I ever touched. I admit that I´m still rather clueless why this worked out so well for me in the end, because I really didn´t do anything that I found particulary impressive prior to being beaten down, apart from not taking that Amog seriously. Maybe she fucks all the guys that her Lars aggresses to appease her bad conscience. Maybe she is just a little nymphomaniac and I found out why todays youngsters are referred to as the “porn-generation” here. Could be just an odd coincidence in my favour. But deep down I´m convinced that I owe this incredible day to the fact that discovering the pickup-arts and community helps my inner game warp me into a different reality in which such mindblowing events do happen. It´s like I entered an alternate universe that has all the shit in store I always dreamt of… (being knocked out in bright daylight is not necessarily part of that, but since it got me laid I won´t complain! haha)
Can´t wait to see what else this universe has in store for me. Just bring it on!!!
Picun