| hey man, so here are some ideas for you man
right now, the frame is very neutral, friend to friend
if you are interested in this girl, at this point it would be somewhat weird to just directly start hitting on her as it would be incongruent with the frame leading up to this point, but you are going to have to shift the frame towards something more conducive to your ends, and the means towards producting the ends show be known, just start justifying why, once you have re-framed the interaction, it will give you more leg room to escalate and qualify her
so for example, when you call a girl out of the blue, or go approach a random girl, before you start looking for compliance, qualifying her and escalating, set the frame right away, if you can show your intentions and justify them, she will be more likely comply with the frame
if you wanted to have an aimless conversation, just set the frame before hand by literally stating this, since you were both bored and looking to invite her out, just state both aims, to produce your means, and it will justify your ends, it gives her a more clear idea of where she is being led, if this is an acceptable idea for her, she will comply with the frame much easier, as you have stated yourself indirectly, walking into the unknown can leave you less willing to keep walking (fear of rejection aka fear of the unknown), as long as the person has an idea of where the end is and know what the means towards that end is, they can make more clear descisions
so for example, when you called her up, you could have started with that invite and gotten straight to the point,
you:hey her name
her:whats up!
you:Calling you to shoot the shit, and invite you out to the races. You should come support your cousins blah blah....
^ right away, means has been justified, and frame has been set, she either complies or does not comply, but your chance for compliance goes way up, and she can see that you know what you are doing, and projecting certainty is a good quality to project, she knows what she is being led into and it doesn't leave her confused, it is the exact same thing when you cold approach, pre-frame the interaction before it begins so the girl knows that you are leading, and where you are leading to
so TL:DR = let her know what you want, express yourself, but do it baby step by baby step, escalating the situation and shifting to frame to maintain congruence
her being your roomies cousin is probably not that big of a deal, if she is attracted, she is attracted, now in reguards to the past, and what will happen in the future, try to forget about both of these aspects, be aware of what has happened in the past, but don't focus on it, just like you should have a clear idea of where you are leading things towards, but you should not be focused on the future, just focus on the exact compliance and frame you want to set currently, from moment to moment in the present time, if you feel weird about hitting on her in front of family, express (not nessicarily overtly) this and isolate, same idea from before, let her know why you are doing what you are doing (the more honest the better, but you can give an excuse if you are afraid), and once you have justified to her why she should comply and where you are leading her to, lead
so for example,
''come with me, I like talking to you but your family is watching and it creeps me out''
now all that happens here if she ''shit tests you aka congruence tests'' she is just confused as of what frame you are setting and wants to find congruence behind your actions to be able to choose if she is willing to be lead or not, if the congruence is there, you will not even be tested, just either complied with, or not complied with, and building and checking compliance is a great way to guage a girls interest, and is completely nessicarily to screen her effectively, girl offering little to no compliance when she has justification is probably not all to interested in where you are leading or the frame that has been set, and if she isn't buying what you are selling then there is not enough value for her, (she is not interested in you), compliance says it all, test it
if you think you have to escalate, and that is what you want, then that is where you should lead to, if you are convinced this is not what you want then you should just drop it, but wanting something but being hesitant to lead out of fear, and not wanting something are two completely different things, try to make up your mind and be more clear about what you are doing, more certainty behind your actions and what you want, commit to what you are doing
if you are unsure of how to flip the frame, you can either directly pre-frame into a new thread, or you can start a roll play, you can try to lead her into a new frame through baiting her into qualifying herself, there is alot you can do with this and it is dependant on what your style is and how you like to go about things, but what is important when you start gaming her is that you can hold some amount of congruence behind what you are doing
in the end it will come down to what do you want, and how are you going to lead yourself there, then lead and see where it goes, don't waste time guessing where it is going to go focusing on the past and future, just lead and understand you will be ok reguardless of what happens, if she isn't interested so what, the only way you will get her if she is interested is to get on with it and lead, not doing so only furthers the chances of her not being interested
GOOD LUCK
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CHAT
