INTRODUCTION:

Over the last few weeks I've been lurking around the forums and to be honest, I have read some rather horrid advice given by newer members in the general section. While I will not claim I have the answers to many of the questions posted in that section, I will wager that insulting someone or telling another member to be more alpha is clearly not the answer.

With that said, I will be starting a journal in the field section here to show the type of pain and dedication that is needed to master this 'game' we are all so eager to learn and play.

While I have always kept a journal of my activities, for the most part I have kept it private and out of public view. Recently however, I have come to the conclusion that it would benefit me and some of the members greatly if I started making my field reports, and other activities public knowledge.

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THE FIRST PART

The First thing I want to do it show is how important inner game (What some people call mental masturbation) is for outer game. I am currently reading the book 'The 7 habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey' and will applying the information I learn from this book, directly to Chief's Outer game guide, and warped mindless ESP Model for escalation.

For those who have not read the book, I will go over first habit in this post. Habit 1: Be Proactive.

What does this mean?
1. Always take the initiative.
2. Do NOT talk in a reactive language (If only..., I can't...., I must...., etc.)
3. Do not focus on your concern (I am fat), but focus on what you can influence (I can hit the gym and eat better).

And seeing how I have taken the initiative and started up this journal, I have already began putting the first Habit into use.

Well, I wish myself the best of luck, and hope you all enjoy this journal over the next few weeks.

_________________
"Long is the way
And hard, that out of hell leads up to light." - John Milton's Paradise lost.

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You'll definitely need a little imagination to apply that to pickup. I had to read it and it's really into morality and sometimes religion. Kind of more a family mans guide but I'd love to see you translate some quotes and how you see that information applying in this forum.

I want to lay a little ground work down before I go out tonight, so I will be covering the 2nd Habit in this post.

2nd HABIT: BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND.

What does this means? Well in other words first you plan then you act.

To understand this habit better, the book ask that you come up with a personal mission statement along with a list of goals that you think will help you make that are in line with you mission statement. Once you have this list of goals you now have an idea of where you are going. Below is my Mission statement along with a list of goals I currently have.

MISSION STATEMENT: My mission in life is to become the best man that I can become and to create a lifestyle that revolves around my beliefs and desires. I will also do my best to display the qualities of being: Sexual, Seductive, Romantic, Violent (When needed), Honest, Genuine, Brave, and Inspirational in all my actions.

My Goals: Here is a list of Goals I am currently working towards. These goal however are goals I wish to accomplish in a lifetime, not a day, week, month or year, but before they put my cold dead corpse into the ground.

GOALS:

1. I want to get my body to 200LBS @ 10% body fat.
2. I want to have a foursome.
3. I want to give a girl the best lay she has ever had.
4. I want to get my entire torso (Chest and Back), covered in Tattoos.
5. I want to create an entourage of 100 people (40 guys, and 60 girls.)
6. I want to work on my confidence, self esteem, and belief system.
7. I want to set the world record for longest dance Marathon (5 days 12 hours).

These are the goals I am currently working toward, and it will be these goals, along with my mission statement, and the qualities I wish to display that will dictate my actions.

INNER GAME REFLECTION: (If Ezo or Kasabi read this I'd love to hear your thought on the following).

I'd like to revisit something I stated yesterday about the first Habit: Be Proactive. I stated that this means that one should not be reactive, hence why I stated not to use reactive language. After I posted that and went to bed I realized that two of the biggest PUA terms used are both reactive language and why I won't use and even will argue against others using them.

The First is AFC. When someone labels them self AFC, you are reacting to your own negative thoughts about yourself. Instead of focusing on a solution, (I am going to read this guide, practice it, and ask for advice when I get stuck), you focus on the problem (I suck with women and am going to label myself AFC, which is a PUA Term for loser). I see no good when someone says "I am a AFC", or says "That bar was full of AFCs last night" (Really, calling other people who you don't know losers, not cool).

The Second PUA Term I think is horrid is HB 1-10. Oh yes it is even more reactive than AFC, because you are reacting to the girls looks and labeling them accordingly. I'd like to give Vitamin J here the biggest thank you EVER about when it comes to my mindset and looks. He taught me to look women in one of two ways.

A. I'd Fuck her.

or

B. I wouldn't fuck her.

That is it. I have no well she is a 10, she is a 7, a 8.6, or any thing else complicated. I either find the girl the sexually attractive, or I don't.

Well that is for tonight. I am planning on going to a Art show at a night club tonight (seems like a little bit of a odd venue for a Art Gallery but I'm down), and I am going to practice some openings.

_________________
"Long is the way
And hard, that out of hell leads up to light." - John Milton's Paradise lost.

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The ART GALLERY

Last night, after writing this post, I shaved, shower, got dress and decided I was going to go to this art gallery, I read about over facebook. Now before I continue this story, in every PUA product, thread, info on where to meet girls I hear/read art gallery. Well I drove to the Art Gallery and to my disappointment, the only people there were twenty overweight, middle aged men, some who were their together as a couple.

Now a lot of people would of probably walk through the door, and say fuck this, and leave, but I figured I was already here, so I might as well stay for a little while and see who shows up, besides I know a lot of gay people, and some of them have really hot female friends.

No to further my disappoint only more over weight, middle aged men keep coming through the door. I turned to the bar tender, who is actaully a personal friend of mine and is how I even found out about this event, and said "You know, I only came to this because I thought their might be some cut girls here."

She found this hilarious, and looking back, it kinda was.

So after hour of sitting in a bar, I decided to pay my tab, cut my looses, and go home.

LESSON THAT I LEARN: I can honestly say I succeeded in learning that this art gallery was not the place to meet women.

NEXT MOVE: I am going to try my luck at the gym over the next two days, and try a nightclub Friday/Saturday night.

_________________
"Long is the way
And hard, that out of hell leads up to light." - John Milton's Paradise lost.

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WEEKEND FULL OF DANCE:

This weekend I had a blast, and while there was no closes, my objectives for this weekend were simply this: OPEN, and open I did.

Now I am hobbyist dancer, and I want to be with other hobbyist dancers, so this makes it easy for me when deciding where I want to go, as is followed.

FRIDAY:

Friday night, I went to a club that has Latin night every Friday, there people dance Salsa, Bachetta, Mergengue, and Cha-cha.

Now I am not all that great at Salsa or Bachetta, but Mergungue and Cha-cha I know enough moves that the dance won't get stale.

So when the Mergengue music went on, I went up first set of girls I thought were cute and asked them to dance. At First they said no, but as I was about to leave, the one girl grabbed me and said "Okay, show me what you got." I was a little nervous as I am the only white guy in the club, and this girl seemed like she knew the dance better then I did, regardless I got on the floor, and performed the dance.

After the song was over we went are separate way, and I went back to my table. I saw another set of girls and again, I asked them to dance. They Said no. Looking back at it they were next to my table, and not once did they get up to go dancing.

Over all I opened seven sets of people, Four of them danced with me, three of them declined. The last set however, was a group of eight women, all of them very beautiful. I went up to them and asked if any of them would like to dance, at first they said no, but to my surprise one of them grabbed me and we began to dance, then slowly all of them began to dance with me. One of them danced very sexually on me, and to be honest she was hottest in the group. After that I had been there for 3 hours, and I was tired, so I called it a night.

SATURDAY NIGHT:

Saturday night I was originally not planning on going out dancing, but it just kinda worked out that way. Me and some friends went to watch our friends band play, well the music they play you can Swing Dance too, and this one really cute girl who was taking pictures of them wanted to dance, so dance we did. I Taught her a little bit of swing, though she demanded I dip and fling her, both things not easy to do when both people are drunk, but I did them non the less. The two of us actaully talked for awhile after we dance and I got her name. I actaully see this girl a lot at the venues I go to, so I plan on talking to her again, when I am not plastered out of my mind.

Over all I had a pretty fun weekend, and I plan to go out Latin dancing every Friday.

_________________
"Long is the way
And hard, that out of hell leads up to light." - John Milton's Paradise lost.

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THE THIRD HABIT: PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST

I had to read this chapter twice, and even now I have a hard time really explaining what the third habit is. From my understanding, the Third Habit is about you realizing what specific actions you need to take that prevent future crisis and that move you towards your desired goals.

When attempting to put these actions on paper the book gives you 5 things you must consider. They are as followed
1. What is your desired result?
2. What guide lines must you act within (Think of your values)?
3. What Resources do you have at your disposal?
4. Accountability.
5. What are the Consequences, both good and bad?

Now looking back I've stated my goals (desired results), and I've already listed my values (Guidelines), so the first two questions have already been answered. As for Resources, all I can say is thank God for the internet, greatest resource I have. As for Accountability, I only have myself, and what few people (both IRL and online), that are willing to hold me accountable for my actions. In all honesty when it comes to self improvement, very few, if any, care if you succeed.

As for Consequences, well should I succeed, I will have lived a very good life, and should I fail I will have lived a rather dull existence. And anything in between will be determined by the level of success I gain.

So what actions could I take right now that will help accomplish my goal? Well Lucky for me some of my actions affect more than one goal.

For goal 1, 4, & 7, right now the action I need to take is have a better diet. While I try my best to do a Paleo diet, I have weak spot for sweets, namely cookies. I love cookies, a little bit too much I am afraid, but if I am going to get in shape I really need to cut down on a lot of sweets.

For goal 2 & 3, the action I see best at the moment is approach more women and try to have sex with them. Sometimes I catch myself approaching women, just to approach them, I need to stop. It is clear I have no fear in approaching women, carrying the interaction past the approach, that is a different story. Though to be more specific, I am going to take on Chief's Advice and work on approaching women while being in a sexual state, also I want to really start using the Seductive eyes that Warp talks about.

For Goal 5 & 6, the action I am going to take is to continue to read this book, and put what I learn into practice.

Now as I advance, the action I will need to take will change, and as I go forward my goals might be increased or change. Either way, I plan that after I hit a specific milestones with the actions I have listed, I will post new actions that I feel, or other actions that members suggest, that I must take.

_________________
"Long is the way
And hard, that out of hell leads up to light." - John Milton's Paradise lost.

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FIELD REPORT

Saturday night, me and some friends went to a concert, afterwards we decided to go to a bar a block away. I was the first one to enter the bar, and the first thing I see is a beautiful Asian girl dancing by herself, so I offered her my hand, she took it, and we began to Hustle http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAWav1rUA00. To my surprise she knew some of the dance, and I was able to lead her very well. There was no conversation between me and this girl, we didn't even trade names, however we danced with each other three different times during my stay there. The only problem was this girl was with her Boyfriend, and he was all sort of mean mugging me during the night. Though, due to the fact I was drunk, and really didn't care, I continued to dance with her on and off through out the night. Now I am really bad at noticing the ques people throw off, but two of my friends (one guy and one girl), told me that the girl I was dancing with was "eye fucking" me, while I was sitting at my table.

The Second girl I danced with, who's name I did get, knew nothing about dancing, thankful it is the guy's job to lead, and lead her I did in a Rumba. Again though, outside of us trading names, we had no conversation.

The Last thing that happened, and this caught me by surprise, is that the really hot bartender, told my buddy that I was a good dancer, and that if she wasn't working would have gone onto the floor for a dance. I didn't find out about this though until me and my friend were on our way home.

This night has provided me with a lot of good info on things I need to work on.

1st: I need to 'eye fuck', the girl I am dancing with.
2nd: I need to learn to spot when the girl I am dancing with is 'eye fucking' me.
3rd: Need to work some of my conversation skills.
4th: I really shouldn't be drinking when I go out, because I don't care how good my conversation skills get, being drunk going to tank them.
5th: Still need some work on getting into a sexual state.

_________________
"Long is the way
And hard, that out of hell leads up to light." - John Milton's Paradise lost.

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THE EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT

In seven Habits, there is a sub chapter that talks about having a better connection with the people in your life by building an emotional Bank Account with them. Often in the PU community I read how we should aim build a connection with the girl we are trying to subdue, so I feel that the advice in this chapter can not only help me with goal#2, on my list, but also Goal#5.

The Book goes to say there are six major deposits to build this emotional bank account, they, along with there descriptions, are as followed:

#1: Understanding the Individual (They have a whole habit for this, but it is later in the book). Really seeking to understand another person is probably one of the most important deposits you can make, and it is the key to every other deposit. You simply don't know what constitutes a deposits to another person until you understand that individual.

#2: Attending to the Little Things.
The Little kindnesses and courtesies are so important. Small discourtesies, little unkindnesses, little forms of disrespect make large withdrawals. In relationships, the little things are the big things.

#3: Keeping Commitments.
Keeping a commitment or a promise is a major deposit; breaking one is a major withdrawal. In fact, there's probably not a more massive withdrawal than to make a promise that's important to someone and then not to come through. The next time a promise is made, they won't believe it. People tend to build their hopes around promises, particularly promises about their basic livelihood.

#4: Clarifying Expectations
The Cause of almost all relationship difficulties is rooted in conflicting or ambiguous expectations around roles and goals. ... Many expectations are implicit. They haven't been explicitly stated of announced, but people nevertheless bring them to a Particular situation. ... Although these expectations have not been discussed, or sometimes even recognized by the person who has them, fulfilling them makes great deposits in the relationship and violating them makes withdrawals.

#5: Showing Personal Integrity
Personal Integrity generates trust and is the basis of many different kings of deposits. Lack of integrity generates trust, and is the basis of many different kinds of deposits.
Lack of Integrity can undermine almost any other effort to create high trust accounts. People can seek to understand, remember the little things, keep their promises, clarify and fulfill expectations, and still fail to build reserves of trust, if they are inwardly duplicitous.
Integrity includes but goes beyond honesty. Honesty is telling the truth-in other words, conforming our words to reality. Integrity is conforming reality to our words- in other words, keeping promises and fulfilling expectations. This requires an integrated Character, a oneness, primarily with self but also with life.

#6: Apologizing Sincerely when you make a Withdrawal. (I'd like to draw attention to this one as I have read in the past on this forum, that real men never apologize, even when they are wrong. Blah, blah, blah Alpha this, Alpha that).
When we make withdrawals from the emotional bank account, we need to apologize and we need to do it sincerely. Great deposits come in sincere words.
...It takes a great deal of Character strength to apologize quickly out of one's heart rather than out of pity. A person must possess himself and have a deep sense of security in fundamental principles and Values in order to genuinely apologize.
People with little internal Security can't do it. It makes them too vulnerable. They feel it makes them appear soft and weak, and they fear that others will take advantage of their weakness. Their security is based on the opinions of other people. and they worry about what others might think. In addition, they usually feel justified in what they did. They rationalize with own wrong in the name of the other person's wrong, and if they apologize at all, it is superficial.

THE LAWS OF LOVE AND THE LAWS OF LIFE
When we makes deposits of unconditional love, when we live the primary laws of love, we encourage others to live the primary laws of life. In other words, when we truly love others without condition, without strings, we help them feel secure and safe and validated, and affirmed in their essential worth, identity, and integrity.

I have to say I got A LOT out of this chapter in this book. I am really looking forward to putting this information to use, and am really looking forward to seeing how much improvement there is with the connections I have with people.

NEW GOAL: LOOKING FOR A DANCE PARTNER.

Over the weekend I came to the conclusion I want to compete in Ballroom dancing, primarily in American Rhythm dances, and Salsa. I have began going out and looking for a partner who would really want to compete with me.

_________________
"Long is the way
And hard, that out of hell leads up to light." - John Milton's Paradise lost.

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DANCING IN THE PARK.

*Yawn*, Last night I went to a Dance event held outside at a park, people of all ages and sizes gathered for an hour long free dance lesson (for tango and foxtrot), and then for a 2 hour open social dance. As I went from dance partner to dance partner, I had a number of random conversations, but one stuck out.

While me and this girl did the Cha-cha to Tequila by the Champs, I asked her a simple question.

Me: Hey _, I bet I know where you heard this song for the first time.
Her: Really? Let me think about it for a minute. Alright guess.
Me: The Sandlot (an American kid's movie.)
Her: No.
Me (thinking): Ah damn it.
Her: Why would you guess that?
ME: Because everyone around our age saw that movie when we were growing up, and that song is played at the best part of that movie.
Her: Good point.

We went on trying to remember all the character names, and discussed our favorite scenes from the movie. Over all I really enjoyed this conversation, I really hate when people talk about work, and other really boring conversation topics.

Well sadly all dance events come to the end, as this one did, and off to the club I went!

THE CLUB.
When I got to Club I go to often, I found it to be absolutely dead (I've been noticing my venue selection been kinda suck as of late). As I sat down and got my beer, the new Cocktail waitress came over and we started talking.

Her: Hey _, how have you been?
Me: I am doing Awesome, I just got back from dancing in __ Park.

At this point I begin to look deeply and passionately into her eyes (Read Warps ESP Guide to understand this, esp-model-of-escalation-vt97891.html )

Her: Nice,
She began to scratch my back.

Me: Hey would like to dance for a song.
Her: Sure.

So we went unto the floor and I caught her a little bit of dance. After about 5 minutes some people came in and she had to get back to work.

Over all I felt last night wasn't too bad. I really hoping that the club would have picked up, but there was a lot of other guys, so I am sure I was not the only one with the idea of meeting women there that night.


REVIEW ON HABIT 2 & 3:
The Other day I read a post by JSmooth, that I really felt captured the essence of Habits 2 & 3 from Seven Habits, much better than any article I could have written on the subject. So I am going to post the link here so in the future I can, along with anyone reading this journal of mine, can go back and really take what he talked about and put it into practice (Habit 1)

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90 DAYS TO A SIX PACK.
After Reading JSmooth, article I really like the idea of putting time limits on your goals, honestly the concept never really took hold of my until I read that, so my first goal is I want to get a 6-pack by September 1st.

This is a two part task. First I will be doing High Intensity training. My Workout Schedule looks like this.

Monday: Shoulders, Bi, forearms.
Tuesday: Legs.
Wensday: off.
Thursday: Chest, tri, Abs.
Friday: Back.
Sat & Sunday: off.

My Diet in Macro terms will be as followed.
Protein: 324
Carb: 45
Fat: 135.

I follow a Primal based diet (No hate please, I've debated enough people, and my mind is not going to be changed by people spewing bro science at me).

My next move is really to get better more defined goals, like this one, for my "dreams".

_________________
"Long is the way
And hard, that out of hell leads up to light." - John Milton's Paradise lost.

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FIELD REPORT

Last Night I went out for a friend's birthday at a club. So there was a lot of shots, drinks, bottles,..basically it looked like a scene out of a rap video. I danced with a lot of girls, but one stuck out.

She actaully approached me and asked.

The Girl: Excuse me do you take Dance lessons at __.

I was floored. If only because the girl doesn't take lessons where I do, but knew I was student there.

Me: Yes I do. Yourself?

The Girl: Well I take lessons at __.

After this brief banter we started to dance. I have to say I've always wanted to dance with another girl, that has had the same formal training as me, at a night club, and it was everything I expected and more. As we danced, I noticed a lot of people pulling out their phones and taking pictures/recording, felt pimp.

Now I was drunk, really drunk, but having such fun I wanted to give the girl an option to see me again, so gave her my number (I have cards with my name and number on it because I throw club parties every month). I would have taken her's, but being a drunk, and in the past I totally screwed up taken girls numbers down (adding or missing digests), I thought "maybe I should give her mine."

So after about 30 minutes of dancing, she left and told me she needed to get back to her party.

About an hour later she came back and asked me to dance again, and we did.

Over all, I had a blast last night, and I do hope this girl call/text me. If not well plenty more fish in the sea.

_________________
"Long is the way
And hard, that out of hell leads up to light." - John Milton's Paradise lost.

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BLUES FEST.

Yesterday, I went to the Chicago Blues Fest with some friends. When we got there I noticed two things, lots of beautiful women, and some street dancing, I thought to myself I have arrived. Recently I've been wanting to do more approaches outside of clubs and I thought to myself, this is perfect.

So me and my friends went and set up camp, and went looking for the other people of our group that had arrived by different means. My one friend however brought a very beautiful tattooed girl, and with me being tatted, my attention was drawn to her.

I asked the tattoo girl if she knew how to swing dance, which she didn't, but she wanted to learn so I taught her the basic step, and some patterns. I ended up dancing with her and her other hot friend, pretty much though out the whole day, along with two other girls that showed up later.

at the end of the day, as the festival ended, we traded numbers, gave her and her friend a hug, and a kissed them on their hand (which made them blush and smile big time).

Else Where in blue fest... my one buddy came with a female friend of his, While I had no sexual interest in my buddy's friend, something awesome did happen, she also takes ballroom dancing, and when she heard about how I wanted to compete, she asked if I would be willing to be her partner. I was like "Hell yeah."

So over all Yesterday was just a win. I got some hot girl's number, and I possibly found a dance partner to compete with (We still have to make sure our schedules work for practice and such before we finalize anything).

_________________
"Long is the way
And hard, that out of hell leads up to light." - John Milton's Paradise lost.

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THE 4TH HABIT: THINK WIN/WIN

I found this habit to be frankly the hardest one to incorporate into seduction itself (Outside of mental framing), I can say however this Habit would be an excellent mind and skill set to have in romantic relationships. Also this habit did have a lot of advice (as I will go over), that I often see given to the newer members of the seduction community.

The First thing I learned is that there are six paradigms of Human Interaction. The six paradigms are Win/Win. Win/Lose. Lose/Win. Lose/Lose. Win. Win/Win or No Deal.

Here is brief description of them from the book, so you can get a better idea what the six paradigms mean.

Win/Win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win/Win means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial, mutually satisfying. With a Win/Win solution, all parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action plan. Win/Win sees life as a cooperative, not competitive arena.

Win/Lose is the authoritarian approach: "I get my way; you don't get yous." Win/Lose people are prone to use position, power, credentials, possessions, or personality to get their way.

Lose/Win is worse than win/Lost because it has no standards- no demands, no expectations, no vision. People who think Lose/Win are usually quick to please or appease. They seek strength from popularity or acceptance. They have little courage to express their own feelings and convictions ad are easily intimidated be the ego strength of others. (Any time I think of someone who is needy, clingy, desperate, or a wussy, this is what I think of).

Lose/Lose: When Two Win/Lose people get together- that is when two determined, stubborn, ego-invested individuals interact- the result will be lose/lose. Both will lose. Both will become vindictive and want to "get back" or "Get even," blind to the fact that murder is suicide, that revenge is a two edged sword. (You will see this a lot on this forum. Don't believe me? just read every post for a week).

Win: Another common Alternative is simply to think Win. People with the Win mentality don't necessarily want someone else to lose. That's irrelevant. What matters is that they get what they want.

Win/Win or No Deal, is higher expression of Win/Win, only that no Deal basically mean that if we can't find a solution that would benefit us both, we agree to disagree agreeably- No Deal.
-

Now he points out in life, or course not every interaction can be a win/win, ex: when two two guys are after the same girl, obviously both guys can't date the same girl at the same time (Unless she is cheating with you, but that is a whole another issue). However it is fair to say, that a lot of problems that we face in life can have Win/Win solutions.

FIVE DIMENSIONS of WIN/WIN

The Principle of Win/Win ... embraces five interdependent dimensions of life. They are Character, relationships, agreements, structure and systems, and process.

CHARACTER: Character is the foundation of Win/Win and everything else builds on that foundation. There are three character traits essential to the Win/Win paradigm. They are Integrity, Maturity, and having and Abundance mentality.

We've already defined integrity as the value we place on ourselves. Habits 1, 2, and 3 help us develop and maintain integrity. As we clearly identify out values and proactively organize and execute around those values on a daily basis, we develop self-awareness and independent will by making and keeping meaningful promises and commitments.

Maturity is the balance between having the courage to do something, and having consideration for other people.

The third character trait essential to win/win is the abundance mentality, the paradigm that there is plenty out there for everybody.
Most people are deeply scripted in what I call the scarcity mentality. They see life as having only so much, as though there were only one pie out there... The Scarcity mentality is the zero-sum paradigm of life.

RELATIONSHIPS: From the Foundation of Character, we build and maintain Win/Win relationships. The trust, the emotional Bank account, is the essence of Win/Win. Without trust, the best we can do is compromise; without trust, we lack the credibility for open, mutual learning and communication, and real creativity.

AGREEMENTS: From relationships flow the agreements that give definition and direction to Win/Win. There are five elements and they are as followed:

Desire results (not methods) identify what is to be done and when.

Guidelines specify the parameters within which results are to be accomplished.

Resources identify the human, financial, technical, or organizational support available to help accomplish results.

Accountability sets up the standards or performance and the time of evaluation.

Consequences specify- good and bad, natural and logical- what does and will happen as a result of the evaluation.

The last part of the chapter I will hold off on my notes, feeling that they were more business related, and I would be unable to use them in what I am attempting to do here. I can honestly say that of all the habits this one had the most to it, and will take some time and effort to really put into practice.

_________________
"Long is the way
And hard, that out of hell leads up to light." - John Milton's Paradise lost.

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HABIT 5: SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD.

Despite the fact I feel that this was the second most important habit in this book, my notes on it are really short, and should be easy to put into practice.

The Chapter begins by explaining that we people usually do one of four things in a conversation, all them wrong. We either Evaluate (we agree or disagree), we probe (we ask questions from our own frame or reference), we advise (we give counsel based on our own experience), or we interpret (we try to figure people out, to explain their motives, their behavior, based on out own motives and behavior).

His suggestion for when we have conversation is this: You rephrase the content and reflect the feeling.

Seems simple enough. The Book goes on to say that you use this type of listening to get people out of emotional thinking, and into logical thinking. Again I can see this being a +.

The Second part of this Habit is: Then to be Understood.

How this works if first you present yourself with your credibility (The emotional bank account I talked about a few post earlier), then you aline your self emotionally with the other person through Empathic listening (You rephrase the content and reflect the feeling), and last you present logical part of your presentation (why the person should do what your want them to do).

Frankly I feel this is the best explanation I have ever read on how to having a conversation that really connect you with another person, and I am really excited in using this, not just in seduction, but in all conversations I have with people.
____

While I have be going out in the field and approaching women, and getting numbers, I have been trying to put these habits to use (I've been done with the book for some time, but don't feel like making one giant post that has all seven in them), and will presenting a plan on putting all seven to use, in what I hope is a really effective way to seduce women.

_________________
"Long is the way
And hard, that out of hell leads up to light." - John Milton's Paradise lost.

the-adventures-of-ilium-vt134843.html

OWNING UP TO ONE'S MISTAKES.

I've always been a believer that one should take responsibility for their actions and outcome in life, however to say one thing and to live it are two different things, however last night I proved to myself I do live that belief. Last night my dance studio had its' summer BBQ. Filled with games, dancing, and food, I decided to grab a few people and we started playing volley ball (with a beach ball however), inside the studio. Well one of the people I grabbed was a teacher, and we all just started bouncing ball around. Well... the owner of the studio did not like this, and came up and started yelling at the teacher.

Now, the teacher, who is a few years younger than me, you could just see the fear in their eyes as their boss was pissed and and questioning them if they thought that bouncing the ball around inside was a "good idea.", and from the owner's point of view, I understand their concern.

Not wanting, the teacher to take punishment for my idea, I intervened and said:

"_, I'll take responsibility for this one, this was my idea."

Owner (looking surprised): "You will now?"

Me: "Yep."

Now I won't lie I was expecting to get a little bit of a verbal lashing from this, to my surprise the owner replied:

Owner: "Well, it is not that I dislike the idea, I just wish you have pick a better spot."

Me: "I Understand, I'll take everyone outside."

_____

REVIEWING MY GOALS:

After having a conversation with Little Panda in his journal, I went back and looked up at my end game goals, and I feel that I really didn't capture the essence in what I was trying to accomplish and why, and that the goals I listed were really stepping stone goals, and not even beginning stepping stone goals.

Really I think I can combined them to make two end game goals that I wish to accomplish.

1. I want to create a personal image in where my presence will enlighten and enrich everyone I choose to surround myself with.

2. I explore my sexuality through the more enriching experiences (threesomes, foursomes, orgies, etc), and through some of the more darker experiences (Sadomasochism, some really freaky sex people).


DAY GAME.

You know, I've been trying to do night game for awhile, and really I just don't think it is a fit. While I enjoy going out clubbing, I want to bring people with me to the club, not go their and try to make friends. I want to do Day Game and meet women outside of bars and clubs. First of all, I don't have the temptation to drink, and second every time I've had some type of success, it is in a non-club environment. So I am going to start giving that a whirl.

_________________
"Long is the way
And hard, that out of hell leads up to light." - John Milton's Paradise lost.

the-adventures-of-ilium-vt134843.html