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Hi everyone,
my name is shar, and still a virgin.im going to start uni soon and i really want to improve my self.i hate being a wuss and always be in the friendzone.it suck to be me....
my whole teenager life is a complete disaster.i only had one girlfriend which i known her online and 'dating' through msn.she dump after my first date.i was complete wuss and needy.
then about two years ago i completely heads over heel at this one girl.shes fat,short and a '3'...i tried everything for her.yet she sont want to be with me and i discover something."attraction isnt a choice"...an e book that completely change my perspective into dating life.i realised that i dont have to be handsome/asshole/famous to get laid.since then i have been studying a quite bunch of topics like body language and other pua ebook.
but still..i cant even get a girl... but i know why it doesnt work.
my weaknesses:
1. only try like 5% what i had studied
2.seldom go out and practice my game
another thing that i i have to tell that is i have quite a i want to number of female closest friend.they are hot.but i hate being friendzone..i want to end this.
i want to get start all over again can.i need guidance.
feel free to ask me any question
Hey Shar. There are definitely some great resources out there.
Double Your Dating / Attraction Isn't A Choice is a popular one:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/attractionbook/
So is magic bullets.
http://www.magicbulletsbook.com/b/
A lot of people on these forums seem to like "direct" and "natural" pick up. Which is something good to aspire to. But the learning curve is so steep and the process of trial error is so frustrating, I bet 95% of guys who try it never get there. Maybe even 99%.
You could honestly do a lot worse than going out regularly, trying to talk to women, and then sitting back and analyzing what went well and what didn't. But I really do recommend reading almost ANY recommended resource (not just the ones I pointed out) and trying to get at least an overview of how successful guys pick up girls.
Even the books that rely a lot on "routines", those routines are efforts to write down what natural guys do spontaneously. I don't personally like routines. But it's not a bad place to start.
A few last things:
1: Your wingman doesn't need to know you are "learning to be a PUA". I hate the term "PUA". I never use it. And you shouldn't either. Or any other jargon. Tell your friend: "I want to go out and meet girls. I'm going to keep going out, even if I blow it the first time. Come with me if you want to fuck hot girls." Don't make it technical.
2: At the beginning, just get good at "opening". That's the kind of thing you can and should practice with lots of different people, not just a hot girl. Even if you have to cop out and talk to the bartender or the cashier, or say "hey, do you know what time it is" just to get more comfortable, that's ok.
3: Try different openers. Try simple direct openers delivered with confidence ("Hey. I'm Shar." "You're cute. I had to come here and say hi.") and more complex indirect openers, delivered over the shoulder to someone in a lineup or something ("Wow, did you just see that?" "The craziest thing just happened to me. I want an outside opinion.")
3: Remember, the point of opening isn't to blow them away with your first line. The point of opening is that most girls immediately treat you like shit when they think you're trying to pick them up, because most guys who pick them up are either losers or douchebags. Your job is to avoid getting treated like that, either by being super confident and friendly and unshakeable (direct), or by pretending you're not actually trying to talk to her (indirect).
4: It almost doesn't matter HOW you open a girl, as long as you know what you're going to say next. You typically can't go wrong with noticing something about her. "Hey, are you guys best friends?" "Hey, are you an artist? You have a creative vibe about you." When you say that with confidence and conviction, it doesn't matter if you opened her by saying "I'm selling lemonade." (I'm exaggerating. But still.)
5: The only way to learn is to actually be willing to make mistakes and learn from them. So many guys say "help! I want to get good with women", but never bother to explain why they aren't good with women, and how far they usually get without blowing it. Some of them don't actually get very far because they don't even try. Keep posting back here and people will give you advice.