The first weekend I started reading PUA I met a girl out and # closed. I used solid text game and got her into me. There was actually a time she deleted my number because I was "so rude", but after a 3 day freeze-out, she was more into me than before.

We had a Day 2 last Wednesday that went well and set up plans for a Day 3 on Saturday. Between then this is what went down...

Thursday: I surprised her by showing up at the bar shes works at after my softball game. She bought me a beer, then I went home.

Friday: I went out with some friends and she ran into me at the bar. She was hammered and immediately gave me me a hug telling me how good I looked and smelled. She told me that another guy took her on a date and was trying really hard to be with her, but she liked me a lot more and wish I tried harder. That was music to my years, he was AFCing and I was still in a good frame. After the bar close, she called me and said I should come over. Within minutes we are making out in her room. Had her shirt off, her hands down my pants, but sadly I haven't read about LMR yet. So we went to bed after a heavy makeout session.

Saturday: We hungout all day and it was good. Really good. Spent the night at her house again.

Monday: She flaked, so I froze her for a couple days.

Tuesday: I had her friend come to my softball game. I wrote on friends facebook saying "thanks for taking book for us haha" and HB liked it. Good right?

Wednesday (today): I told her that I was into her, but hardly know her. Basically saying I was interested in a relationship without trying to AFC. Here is the last 5 texts.

HB: And that's sweet.... But I can't be dedicated right now. I'm all for having fun, but as far as "the notebook", it's just not what I had planned for myself.
HB: I hope you understand what I'm saying.
Me: Gotcha
HB: See... You don't.
HB: Wanna come over and talk about this? I'm doing hw.
HB: (My Name)

Hour later........

HB: I can't believe you're being so fucking selfish. It's ridiculous. You're like a child... You get upset when I don't let you talk... Well you won't let me explain, and it's frustrating and annoying. Not responding? Being short with your answers? Real cool and mature. We can't even have a conversation.


What is some advice you guys have? Does a freeze out work here?

A few things running through my head are...
1. Do I really want to date this girl, or is that just the AFC in me?
2. She has another guy trying "really hard", so will a freeze out be counter-productive?

Thanks.

I really wish people would understand that a freeze out only works if the girl actually gives 2 cents of a shit about a future with you...

in this case....no it won't. lol

I'd like to point out a few things:

1. You had your chance to F-close twice, and you didn't take it. It's easier for a girl's level of interest to drop if the guy doesn't man up and take leads. She ASKED you to come over and let you stay at HER PLACE twice, that was quite an OBVIOUS hint.

2. You texted her too much, like almost everyday except for the freeze-out periods. Ideally, limit your text to 2-3 times a week, and mostly use them to plan a date.

3. She expressed her interest and wanted to talk things out. You're being unresponsive. Her action was positive, why didn't you encourage it rather than punishing it?

4. She's a bit emotional herself, but that means she was quite invested in you. Otherwise she wouldn't be that upset.

---> Why would you freeze her out again? You're at fault here. It seems like you misunderstood the purpose of a freeze-out. Text her tomorrow and act like nothing happened, make jokes and regain your frame. If she mentioned it, just say "seem like you were having a bad days so I wanted to give you some time to cool off. we can talk things over tonight"

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That's what I've been reading, but when she was drunk she babbled about relationship shit. Didn't make too much of it though.

I would have picked up the phone and called her. I don't tolerate a chick bitching me out over a text....then again, I'd never freeze out over a flake; I gain compliance or I bolt. Seriously... your 'freeze out' was useless. It was childish. Freeze out when she gave the LMR - do that properly and you are either fucking her or YOU take the high road (in her frame), either way - it'd be a win/win.

But...for all your hype about trying to not be AFC...you failed miserably dude. Hell, the chick wanted to discuss it F2F. Why didn't you? F2F is the perfect chance to clear the shit up and FUCK her right then.

Why would you possibly freeze out over a texted conversation? It boggles my mind.

Sorry man. Hard fact: You fucked this up like a football bat. Good part - She seems into you for real. If not, there's always another chick.

RR


Edit* The whole "there's another guy trying" thing? So what? Everyday dudes hit on hot women. If you're dating a hot woman, she's hit on all the time. If she says she isn't she's lying. How you react, or don't react defines you.

_________________
Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

Hm.. I guess I have a lot to learn. Thanks for the advice.

I just figured that after being "denied", agreeing to go over to talk about it right away would make me seem desperate.

I text her saying "I had some things to do and didn't take my phone with me. Yeah, we can talk about it, but I have to work tomorrow and have a game at 6:30."

Lebron missed a lot of layups before he could dunk! ha.

Except...you kind of upshotted into an audience member...lol

Denial or shit test?

Now you may never know... But - if she's asked you over, that's not really a denial. Human nature is for someone to deliver bad news quickly and to cause the least harm to the person SAYING the news, rather than the person who will be receiving it. So extrapolate: If she was done, she'd have minimized fallout by texting you. Period. It could have stopped then. That would have been her safe point.

Her persual of this showed true interest IMO.

_________________
Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

Personally, I feel you pushed for a relationship way to fast! Should have at least slept with her for a month.

A lot of these girls that go to bar often are in "party mode" They come to hook up with guys but not to make them there boyfriend.

So I made that screen name the first day I stumbled upon PUA. I figured I could be a closer in no time. Gotta walk before I can run in this game, so I made a more humbling SN.

Out for the night, I'll minimize the texting and set up a F2F.

That's a great point. Most men can't discern between meeting someone and feeling someway committed to them from the beginning. Most are drawn to this invisible word called 'commitment'. As if suddenly SAYING it makes it somehow more real.

The only difference between saying "I'm her boyfriend" and "We hang out all the time" is that the "boyfriend" already has pressure. Just let it happen naturally. My rule of thumb - if a chick drops the 'L' word in under 6 weeks - I throw it right back in their face. Have had it happen 2x in 2 years. Both times, I said the same thing. They say "I love you" and I said "I'm going to let you have a Mulligan on that and pretend you didn't say it." and I shut up (we were in bed, having just finished fucking). One went to sleep and we discussed it the next day, the other got bitter quick. But - I explain they're not in love with ME, they're in love with being in love. In 6 weeks, they don't KNOW me well enough. BUT - then I say I'm into them, and we'll see where it goes (push/pull). ...and when one went down that love road again a week later - I bounced.

There's enough pressure already, don't invent more trying to somehow stake your claim on a woman with a title that is imaginary.

This isn't directed at any one guy. Ouch brought out a great point that triggered another thought.

RR

_________________
Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.