boyfriend issues



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 Post subject: boyfriend issues
PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2012 5:37 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2012 4:31 pm
Posts: 65
Hey all,

So basically, I have been seeing various chicks. But a particular one who recently broke up with her boyfriend and is on back and forth with him, stood out. Her character worked perfectly with mine, and things have been amazing when we meet. She sometimes sleeps over but is extremely adamant about not having sex. However indicates it will happen in the future..

She is a close friend of all my friend and trusts me a lot, and recently asked me the question. "Do you think if we went out it would work"... this was whilst lying in my bed as she was sleeping over that night.

Please note that she's still hooked up on her bf, and tends to mention him a lot. She keeps saying she doesn't want to be with him... but admits she's not over him and thinks about him all the time. but Im not so sure its completely honest. He cheated on her in the relationship and she recently found out. She loves speaking to me and agrees its insane that we both agree so well and she scared that by losing me she might make the biggest mistake in her life.

Im not looking to shag this girl, but to turn her into my GF full blown.

Thanks for any advice,


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 Post subject: Re: boyfriend issues
PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2012 4:12 pm 
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Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 6:58 pm
Posts: 5702
Location: Nashville
Quote:
Hey all,

So basically, I have been seeing various chicks. But a particular one who recently broke up with her boyfriend and is on back and forth with him, stood out. Her character worked perfectly with mine, and things have been amazing when we meet. She sometimes sleeps over but is extremely adamant about not having sex. However indicates it will happen in the future..

She is a close friend of all my friend and trusts me a lot, and recently asked me the question. "Do you think if we went out it would work"... this was whilst lying in my bed as she was sleeping over that night.

Please note that she's still hooked up on her bf, and tends to mention him a lot. She keeps saying she doesn't want to be with him... but admits she's not over him and thinks about him all the time. but Im not so sure its completely honest. He cheated on her in the relationship and she recently found out. She loves speaking to me and agrees its insane that we both agree so well and she scared that by losing me she might make the biggest mistake in her life.

Im not looking to shag this girl, but to turn her into my GF full blown.

Thanks for any advice,
Basically you need to be very direct and to the point with her. You can keep pussy footing around with her and hoping things will work or you can take action. In this case it means sitting her down telling her you like her, you want to make her your girlfriend, but in order to do that she needs to get over so and so. I believe she honestly likes you as well...but there are some women that are just indecisive.

The only way you are going to get this girl is if she feels you are not going to be around as friend. Right now she has the best of both worlds! She has you this great guy that is there for her that she'd like to hook up with, and could on the back burner. And she has her ex that she's not sure if she still likes or not. She's keeping her options open as many hotter women do.

You have to get her to make a decision. To do that you have to be willing to walk away from her and the situation. You have to be honeslty willing to take yourself out of her life because you being in this "back and forth" situation isn't good for you. You like the girl, and you deserve to be with her. You need to believe you don't deserve to be on the back burner...you deserve to be her one and only.

Until you get to the point of making her make a decision you will stay in this zone and it usually doesn't work out. You become the constant plan B for her. You're a great guy and fun charming all that good stuff. Meanwhile she dates guys she knows are bad for her while keeping you the good guy around in case those things don't work out. I've seen it too many times. Staying the way things are you may have sex with her, you may not. You almost certianly won't end up in a relationship with girls like this, cause she usually keeps a few options around. Girl like this almost always keep going back to bad hurtful relationships and they know the guy is no good for them.

Keep doing what you are doing and get the same results and prob no relationship. OR you can take a stand and you have a 100% chance of walking away...50% chance that is with her...and 50% chance its without her. Still if it is without you can move on with your life and not be waiting for her forever being tooled.

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 12:15 am 
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Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2012 4:31 pm
Posts: 65
Hi Jsmooth,

Thanks for your reply, I believe you have put me in a frame of mind where I am far more ready to take action.I am going to speak to her. However should I just push her to give me an answer? should i tell her how i feel?. At this point in time, we speak everyday for hours on the phone and have a blast. But she sometimes hints, we would be amazing together and often hints we will never be together. I have a feeling its an anti-rejection technique.

Moving on, we are going on holiday to a nearby island for 4 days, there is another girl who I believe likes me, Im also dating yet another girl.. I want to conclude on this as the 4 day trip id rather spend it with a girl who will invest in me, rather then a girl who wont. However this particular girl we click to well, and in reality I think when I speak to her im going to end up walking away forever, which in all honesty scares me...


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 12:37 am 
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stop ... everyone does this mistake over and over again. You have to realize that YOU ARE THE PRIZE... stop praising the girl so much and turning her into something so UNIQUE and SPECIAL.... You have to be OK with letting her go and not even wanting a relationship with her. That's when you will get her. That's when she is going to chase you instead.... come on man. You are better than that. You are already saying you are dating other girls... keep going out.. hang out with this one but dont make it a big deal and like Jsmooth said... stop being so available for her. You are not her bf and she is getting the best of both worlds.

If I was you, I would stop seeing this girl. Straight up, don't say it but don't be so available and back off. Or you could let her know how you feel and just get it over with but I highly recommend AGAINST IT. Keep your composure (always), let her know that there might be chance you guys coming together but if it doesnt NO BIG DEAL


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2012 1:55 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2012 1:19 am
Posts: 5
I think that if she actually likes you, by dropping her will be your advantage. Its been said already but continue dating the other girls, and you don't have to confront her with your feelings also. Your actions will speak louder than words. Be less available.

If you do want to be together, then I guess its okay for you guys to have the talk, but making her jealous would still be the best thing to do.

I believe you're in control here, play it well.


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