Are you kidding me, how did i mess this up



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PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 7:33 am 
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Met some girl online, got her number, did alot of self disqualifying because i knew she was into me. Asked her about her conversation skills 'awkward dates are the worst.'
She responds with qualifying herself and saying that she "go on a date with me in a heatbeat.'
Ask her what she's doing some arbitrary day, she's woking, but can chill right now. I don't reply...
Texts me a bunch, then i fuck up a day 2 with somne other girl so text her today tell her we are hnging out (I'll bring the popcorn you provide the theatre)
Her: I dont live alone :(
Me: Fck that. Ar eyou married?
bla bla,
Then I'm coming over, 830.
Her : I work till 9 ish lol.
I say something like I'm sure sommeone else with want to chill tonight.
Her: I do want to :(

Now i probably messed up at this point.

Me: I'm coming over. Wear something nice so we match.
Her:Huh?
I call her, sounds like she's at work , I'm heavily breaking rapport with tonality, "Aye! Whats up girl, you done work!" being all dominant and shit.

She hangs up ( oh and this girl is not hot and I am probably higher on 10 scale if that changes anything) (want to practice my day 2's),....

Her: over text- I dont get it
?????
-Are you mad at me
-Or don't answer me wow
Me:No, why would i be mad. I;m out, ttyl
Her:Bye



meet up from this still possible? What do i say tommorow...? And where did i go wrong with getting the meet.
Thanks for any replies!!


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 9:35 am 
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I don't understand half of this shit. Maybe I'm just stupid but can you explain this sentence?: "I say something like I'm sure sommeone else with want to chill tonight. " WTF does this mean? Why don't you use proper english?

"Aye! Whats up girl, you done work!" What's this? This is not breaking rapport this is just like you're from Jersey Shore.

"arbitrary day?" Do you even know the meaning of arbitrary?

Now what I see is you don't know the difference between dominant and jerk. Leading doesn't equal ordering. You can't just tell a random girl you don't even know "I'm coming over at 8:30". That's just weird. I mean... I don't like going to complete strangers' houses and that's not even close to inviting one to my home. Why don't you go out and do something fun? Go play pool, go wall climbing, swimming, just anything. And after that you can "go back to chill" to your place ;)

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 10:41 am 
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You're over gaming man. She made it clear that she is interested when she said she will go on a date with you in a heartbeat. You can't expect her to leave her work for some guy she doesn't know that well.

Okay and then let me get this straight. She said she can hang out right now? And then you don't reply? Why? Didn't you reply? I'm not saying you should have just give the reason why you didn't. If you were busy then sure... But let's say you were busy talking.. So she knows you're not that busy, suddenly when she sais she can hang out right no you don't reply. Sounds a bit dodgy. Anyway...

Also by just telling her your coming over even after she said no, makes you seem over eager and a bit needy. If she says she has to work just tell her it's fine and she should enjoy her evening. Don't say okay some other girls will like to hang out with you. This is just sounding like a jerk. Just tell her to enjoy her evening. Afterwards if she asks you what you did that night just say you went out with some friends or whatever you actually did. Don't make a big deal out of it.

She obviously cares else she wouldn't have asked if you were mad etc. REWARD her for good behaviour. She said she can't but really wants to chill(this is good behaviour in a way - reward her for it, by being cool about it :"No problem, we'll do it sometime else") then you go and say you'll find another girl... This is douchebag 101.

Look at it from a different perspective.. You have to work and this girls invites you over, you obviously have to work to pay the bills. Now she says fine, she'll find another guy. You'll be pissed right. You'll think "Fuck that she has another guy I'm moving on"

This is probably what went through this girls mind...

From what I can figure out in your post(which is very unclear) The girl isn't lost. Just take the gaming down a notch and keep it relaxed! You have to show her you want more than just her body, and you want to get to know her. Don't neg or anything. You can tease a little and make jokes if the opportunity arises. You can just wait a while, and then casually ask her if she wants to hang out or do something fun.

If you get her to hang out, girls usually open up a bit because if she'll be alone with you it means she trusts you enough. Let her see another side of you, your emotional side(Okay it sounds gay I know, but it works)

See this about making emotional connections : the-power-of-emotional-connections-vt134438.html


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 10:46 am 
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Dude you wayyy over did it. You showed her so much value that she wanted things to be perfect. She was afraid that her place was a mess, her parents/roomates were home. Then she was genuinely busy and you kept pressing it. She hung up on you but for all you know she can't be on her cell at work.
Quote:
I'm sure sommeone else with want to chill tonight.
Watch out with that line. Can come off as desperation or plain assholeness. I've done it myself with good results but it can blow up in your face.

Why don't you text her something like

"Seems there was a miscommunication. I thought you were playing games. Pick a day and time and I'll make it up to you"
If your previous convo comes up just laugh it off.

Just be normal, you've already demonstrated you can be bold, dominant. She needs comfort as well. It's a balance. She already likes you. More than you think. You're so convinced that you're messing it up that you are ignoring the signs that are loud and clear.

Sure she hung up on you but you raised her emotional level through the roof.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 10:47 am 
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Anyway it's a real messy pick up and those are the ones that tend to work for some reason.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 11:39 am 
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read her social cues, if she can't hang, she can't hang, just re-schedule also leave out the whole, some other girl will hang with me if you don't, sub communicate abundance by making yourself scarce don't just outright tell her, that will only fuck your chances up


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 2:30 pm 
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Not much else to say that the other guys already haven't. What I will say though is I don't blame you for the mistakes you made with over-gaming, as this seems to be a trend I've noticed in the community recently with guys taking dominant to rediculous levels with guys giving advice along the lines of:
"SFTU man, don't be a pussy! F***ing tell her you're coming over when you want! If she offers another time, blow her off because otherwise you'll be AFC for being available when she is! That's not alpha BR0! If she flakes tell her you've already got some hotter chick to bang anyway, that'll make her super-jealous Bro and want your c*ck, serious!"

Maybe that method will work for some guys on some girls, but if this hasn't been your frame from the start she's going to be like "woah where the f*** did that come from? Who is THIS?!" and not in a good way.

As someone above said, punish bad behaviour, reward good behaviour. If a girl doesn't text me back or texts bad something boring like "haha" I'll do a mini freeze-out as punishment for her lack of engagement, this is usually followed by her re-engaging with another text a few hours later/the next day. If she flakes but suggests an alternative time, I see this as good behaviour as she is showing a willingness to hang out (not every flake is lying about why they can't hang, other people have their own lives) so if I'm free, I'll take her up on it, if you're worried about being "too available" and absolutely must display some form of alpha characteristic at this stage then just use a time constraint saying you can only stay for like 2 hours or whatever.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 2:51 pm 
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Ya that heavy handed shit is only meant for a certain type of girl. The hb10 gold diggers with fake boobs and nice car paid for care of the orbiters she doesn't put out for. You don't want those chicks they are ugly on the inside. They'll dump you for another guy and cry to him about how big of an asshole you were to her. Ever wonder why mystery went half crazy? Date some strippers with daddy issues and you'll understand why.

The girl you are talking about sounds like she is very sweet and kind. As long as you don't full out kiss her ass you are fine. If you met her on the internet she is probably looking for a man already.

Guys around here think that they have to do all these tactics. All that is required is to not fuck it up. That's it.

Save the dominance for the bedroom.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 5:09 pm 
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My advice comes down to one major point:

REAL LIFE IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS.

All of this disqualifying, game playing or whatever it was over text is useless if you can't make it to the meet-up. In order to get the meet-up, which is huge in my game system (1. Get number 2. Get meet-up 3. Get kiss 4. Get sex) you have to be FLEXIBLE!

If she says she can do it now, ask yourself if you're doing anything now, and if not go get sex. If she says she can't do it, immediately stop texting her. Don't play games, just stop texting her, and then ask her again in a few days.

It is more important to get the meet-up than to appear dominant. If I have to supplicate to a girl, tell her I'll drive her somewhere, or make it obvious that I don't have plans all weekend, then that's okay! As long as I get the Day 2.

Try again next week.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 1:40 am 
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Wow I just got shown a massive blind spot in my game - over-gaming and over-dominance to the point of 'assholeishness' as someone put it. I have been reading alot of RSD shit lately (especially Jeffy) and that seems to be the pinnacle of his style, as displayed by Jeffy's catchphrase " cut the shit, time to fuck!" Funny thing is with about three other girls this week this exact style has got me massive amounts of attraction (Aye! WTF Girl! Do your fucking job! ...to a random shoppers drug mart employee - an HB 8.5)
And since using this over-the-top dominance I`ve been asked out once and had a girl HB7 actually ask her friend if I was single, after seeing me dominat the shit out of this hot asian girl with almost comical authority.
Maybe on uglier chicks who have already supplicated though, dominance is just being a prick.
Thanks for all the honest replies...Hearing the truth is the only way I`ll get better, and god damnitt I want to.
The reason I didn`t reply was because I did not want to `supplicate`and rather wanted the meet to be on MY terms, which now just seems silly.
Again, thanks for showing me some blind spots in my game.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 30, 2012 9:30 am 
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Maybe on uglier chicks who have already supplicated though, dominance is just being a prick.
Just a point on this, it isn't necessarily only the less attractive women that this effect is on. I've encountered a lot of very very attractive women who have the self-esteem of a moth, your job is find out what kind of girl she is first - the bitchy HB10 we all love to dominate and knock down a few pegs, or the shy HB10 who doesn't think much of herself in that regard for whatever reason - then calibrate your game to suit your target.

Quote:
The reason I didn`t reply was because I did not want to `supplicate`and rather wanted the meet to be on MY terms, which now just seems silly.
Yes it was rather silly lol. However with the bitchy HB10 I described above, depending on how 'up herself' she is this tactic could be a good option, you just used it on the wrong kind of girl.

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PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2012 2:02 pm 
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She responds with qualifying herself and saying that she "go on a date with me in a heatbeat.'
Ask her what she's doing some arbitrary day, she's woking, but can chill right now. I don't reply...
err yeah you F'ed up right about there

I'd be interested to hear why you didn't reply?

Was you using game?

Was you scared how quickly it happened?

Did you think this would give you value?

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