| First of I would like to say that this is my first post.
I have been reading about game for over a year now, but have never really put it into practice. I am an AFC nice guy, with moderate approach anxiety. I recently went out on a first date with a girl, and the experience of the date and afterwards have had a very profound effect on me.
I will supply some background.
I have very little dating, relationship, or sexual experience. I go on very few dates, and although I try to project confidence, I am INCREDIBLY desperate. My friend Natalie calls me up, and says that she has a great girl she would like to set me up with. Natalie feels she is perfect for me. She is an accountant (I am sort of), she is Jewish (I'm Jewish), and Natalie feels that we have similar personalities and backgrounds.
She tells me that Lynn is expecting my call, and we should set up a date. I phone Lynn, and we talk for about 12 minutes. Small talk, like where we went to school and hobbies, etc. She did not seem hesitant to meet me on a blind date. We set something up for the next week. She is an accountant, and extremely busy around April. I told her I would call her the day before, to set up the specific plans.
When I phoned her, we talked for about 10 minutes. The conversation was comfortable, and she seemed genuine and honest. I asked her what she would like to do (Mistake, Iknow.) We set something up for dinner (I know, it should have been drinks) near her place. (also a mistake).
I told myself that I would be confident, not care about the outcome of the date, and be relaxed, and ready to escalate/kino etc. By the way this was a real blind date. (We specifically didn't exchange last names so that we could not look eachother up on Facebook. This was her idea, and I thought it was pretty cool. We both agreed that the Jewish community can be detrimental to dating, because everyone knows eachother, and has lots of opinions, stories, etc. about othe rpeople and can sabotage a relationship from the get go.) Most of the Jewish girls I have dated hate me now, and I figure they shit talk me to girls.
When I saw her I was surprised. She was very attractive, maybe a 7, but exactly my type. Dark hair and features, and her didn't seem uptight. I told myself to hug her, but I shook her hand like a pussy. We sat down, and talked for a bit. I already knew that I "liked" her personality before meeting. I think we both felt a connection over the phone. The date lasted 90 minutes. We talked, but nothing to personal, laughed a little, and I felt that she seemed to like me. I played in safe, didn't neg or really disagree with her.
Also, she told me that she cancelled a plan with a friend to go on this date.
Then I made my second mistake, which I promised myself I would not do. I paid for dinner, even though she offered to pay for half. We left and she walked me to the subway. I promised myself I would kiss her, what did I have to lose. When the moment came to separate, I hugged her instead. It was a warm hug, and she recipricated, then I put my hand on her hip and said I would call her to get together again. She looked in my eyes, smiled and said sure.
I waited two days to call her. I know, I should have texted, but I'm an idiot. Lynn didn't answer. I waited for her to call back. I was so anxious and upset. She never called. Two days later, I called her again, but still no response. She always picked up before the date.
Natalie told me not to worry. Lynn is really busy at work, and told Natalie that she liked me, wanted a second date, and said "I hope he doesn't hate me because I've been to busy to call back. I don't want to be in a rush when I phone him"
Finally she calls me. This time, the rapport wasn't as strong. She seemed like she was calling me out of courtesy. 2 minutes into the call, I asked her if she wanted to go out again soon. She said she was too busy this week. That I should call her next week.
When I called her, she actually answered to my surprise. She was a work. She told me that she is too busy to go out this week, but that she still wanted to go out, and she would call me next week.
I couldn't believe it when she did. She called out of the blue, just to talk. We talked for 4 minutes about passover, and our weekend plans etc. Then she said she had to go, just wanted to say hi. I asked her out again, she hesitated, and she said,
"I am really busy, but I would like to see you again. I think it would be a good idea if we went out with Natalie and did a bar night."
I realize this is a complete rejection.
But why did she call me? Did she call just to reject me to boost her ego? Was she somehow unsure of whether or not she wanted to see me again?
|
CHAT