When do you stop pursuing?



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PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2012 8:35 pm 
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Long story short, I met this cute chick last Friday; I gave her a good night kiss! She gave me her number (I didn't ask) and said that we should hang out.

The next day I texted her and she first responded, I texted back and she didn't text me back.

I did a freeze out for 4 days, and then I texted her to see of she wanted to hang on Friday. She responded with a maybe, what do you have in mind?"

Me: was thinking we could chill at bar x. Say at 7. Up for it?
(Sent her a picture).

She dindnt respond for hours, and when she finally did, she only commented on the picture (I was building up positive emotions related to me with the picture and establish further connection).

So she never responded to my suggestion of meeting up. I am still going to bar x with a buddy.

Two options: A) leave it alone. (I hate giving up but her flakiness is annoying and she hardly responds to my texts. How much is enough? In other words, when do I become too pushy?

Option b) go to the bar and text her saying: "I'm at bar x with some friends. Come join us if you're free."


What do u guys think?


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 12:46 am 
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Either she's not interested or she's playing games. I'd stop pursuing if I were you, hit her up again in a few weeks...see if she shows more interest then.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 4:06 am 
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I agree with p11

also, do u think u shoulda done more then a GN kiss on day 1? maybe she wanted more and when she didnt get it made her less intersted? idk thats a longshot but who knows.

At this point i would stop texting her... if she wants to hang she will contact you... if she doesnt then she doesnt... on 2 the next1. but here is whats happening if u keep texting... it LOWERS your VALUE. makes u look like ur chasing her... like u NEED to spend time with her. umm no u dont u got 20 other bitches... (or at least appear like u do). This will DRAW her back.

GL... hope this helped. I know its not EASY to sit back and not text... but in the long run it might pay off.. remeber.. SHE GAVE HER number TO U... u didnt ask... which is GOOD... and if u drop her like just another random chick she will chase back....


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 4:38 am 
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Agreed with above. Stop texting her. She's being disrespectful so pull away.

Not that much interest, so look for other options.

When you do decide to give her another shot, express your invite in a fun, leading way. "We're going to ____ tonight! You should come!"


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 8:47 pm 
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Ok so here is what happened last night: I went out to the bar with some buddies. I send her a text:

Me: we're at bar x. Come by and hang.
Her: okay, just gotta finish this project.
Me: see ya then.
Her: I just remembered that I'm meeting a friend to hang with him tonight.
Me: no worries, friends first, that's important.
Her: How long are you gonna be there?
Me: till about 12. Come by and hang if you're up for it.
Her (3 hrs later): sorry, I had a lot To talk through tonight.
Me (the next morning): no worries. It was a lot of fun though... Maybe some other time!!

I dunno, I am doing a freeze out for a while and following the advice from u guys. This chick is flaky.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 9:00 pm 
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No (or barely any) interest.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 11:14 pm 
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Yeah I tink I'll just leave this one alone for now.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 1:43 am 
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It's been said, but there's no interest there. Your best option is to completely freeze out, and possibly re-engage in several weeks.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 6:33 am 
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How should I re-engage?


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 6:19 pm 
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Maybe it sounds needy but i had a similar girl that i was texting with recently. I got tired of her ways so without answering her question or anything i just said: "it seems like you dont want to meet. im sitting wondering if i should erase your number or not. what do you think?". That time it worked like a charm. She answered something like "oh im really sorry i do want to meet." then i did some cold readings on her by text telling her what kind of girl i think she is(quiet and careful in the beginning but probobly fun and exciting once you get to know her) and now she totally in..

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 8:05 pm 
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Just my 2 cents, personally if a girl flakes on me 3 times (either flakes on a date or no response to text/call) I call it quits and move on, sometimes if I think there might be genuine reason for the flakes I'll send a little ultimatum style text "It seems like we aren't gonna go past being text buddies and I'm not interested in that so it was nice to have met you, have a great day!" something like that. That'll sometimes get people to turn around and suggest a meet-up but usually it just leaves it as ending on good terms.

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 9:21 pm 
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I think the only fair way of looking at this is that if she were into me, she would have texted me more and showed up when I invited her. I may wait two weeks and invite her again, but for now, I am moving on.

When you ask a girl if she wants to hang out sometime and she proposes a place and time, should I assume that she is into me? I met this girl in November at a seminar (we have mutual acquaintances). Are there signs to tell if a girl sees you as a friend only? If a guy and a girl just know each other a bit, is there attraction if she suggests a day to meet up?

Cheers!!!


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 4:26 pm 
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It's clear that she's not interested anymore. If she was she would've accepted your invitation to hangout.

The big thing that you did wrong was waiting 4 days. Never wait that long, capitalize on the opportunity as soon as you get it.

What I've found a lot of women want is for you to get to know them and for them to get to know you. They're very used to guys texting them for sex and it's likely that if they go meet the guy that he'll be insistent on sex, the sex won't be that good, and he won't be that interesting (and more than likely, an idiot). That package isn't too appealing to women, so you have to convince her that you're not the typical idiot.

Female attraction is driven by the mind and so if they know you better and think that you're interesting, they're much more likely to agree to meet you again.
So you somehow have to try to get to know them. At least enough to thrill them 8).

This is why if I don't close in 1 night, I always aim to get their Facebook accounts. People post a ton of very revealing personal info on their Facebook accounts so it's not very hard to determine what they're into and what drives them personally. If you review this a bit and then chat them up through Facebook with the aim of getting to know them better and letting them get to know you, then they're MUCH more likely to give a second interaction.

tl;dr
Women are emotional creatures and what stimulates one woman won't stimulate another, so trying to get to know them a little better immediately after you meet her will give you a much better idea of how to mind-fuck her.

In the future, get their Facebook, and don't waste any time in chatting them up.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 8:41 pm 
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I think one reason she lost attraction/attention is because... well let's look at your text conversation for example:
Quote:
I texted her to see of she wanted to hang on Friday. She responded with a maybe, what do you have in mind?"

Me: was thinking we could chill at bar x. Say at 7. Up for it?
It's bland and nothing unique. How many guys do you think boringly text her "what's up?" or "hey, you wanna meet up"? You gotta spice it up, be more playful, and intrigue her. When she says "What do you have in mind?" say something different like "I have quite the adventure planned. We're going to go on a safari through the city and people watch, followed by an exotic dinner... and if you're lucky, we'll catch the last flight to paris and get married". After I typed that it sounded stupider than I intended, but whatever. The point is to inspire a different reaction then "...eh, a bar. I could take it or leave it". I have a reponse I use all the time similar but shorter and it works pretty well. I don't want it on public domain, but you have the gist of it for making your own now.
Quote:
Her: I just remembered that I'm meeting a friend to hang with him tonight.
Maybe it's just me, but I get the impression she didn't 'just remember'. She probably was going to meet up with you until someone else texted her and gave her a better or more fun alternative. Doing something similar to what I said above may help this.
Quote:
Her (3 hrs later): sorry, I had a lot To talk through tonight.
Me (the next morning): no worries. It was a lot of fun though... Maybe some other time!!
She baited you all night and you just said "okay". Instead of brushing it off, you could have playfully insisted she had to make it up to you.

Those are just some initial thoughts. I understand tonality is harder to convey through texts., but you just gotta set yourself apart from the other seven guys texting her. Why should she respond to your text and commit to your plans over theirs?

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 5:11 am 
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This is some really great advice. Thank you so much. Very much appreciate it. If I wanna add her on fb, what's the best way to do it?

Cheers!


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