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My old philosophy was to act in accord with however I felt. I would stare down a girl, but once it got awkward, I would break eye contact assuming I had passed the subconscious Alpha assessment because I waited long enough.
My new philosophy is to hold it till she breaks it, no matter what. It's kind of simple. She's holding eye contact with you, which means as "awkward" as it gets for you, it should theoretically be getting just as awkward for her. Which means the two possibilities are:
(a) It's actually not getting awkward for her, in which case you can stare at her
(b) It IS getting awkward for her, but she's holding eye contact anyways. That means there's no reasonable "threat" in your willingness to mirror her stare. It's just a question of state control.
So long as you don't hold eye contact AFTER she's already broken it; there's nothing wrong with it.
Smiling too much / breaking eye contact or looking down submissively are both reflexes that function to reduce your level of threat projection. They were never selected out via evolution, even on women, because they increased chances of survival in a hyper competitive secksual market.
The difference between holding eye contact / breaking it correlates with the difference between Alpha/beta. As a beta, you want to reduce threat as much as possible because your chances of survival are increased the most by SEEKING APPROVAL from those people that threaten you. As an Alpha, your chances of survival are irrelevant as you're "capable" of surviving regardless of another's approval. Hence it becomes more a question of procuring reproductive proxies (submission from others, dominance, territory, etc); and so you want to MAXIMIZE threat projection rather than minimize it.
If you'll recall from the game, it's "survival of the smoothest" because we now live in a world where social adaptivity is the barometer to success, not physical adaptivity. So all this shit about threat projection gets translated to its socially fluid version, and comes out in much more subtle forms like eye contact, body language, and tone of voice
Fantastic Effin post!
I too prefer to make eye contact until she breaks it. However, I tend to start with little flirting signals in body language.
I add a smile or smirk. When we get a smile we give a smile. A smile gives us a positive feeling(literally) if you consciously smile through some rough moments you will make yourself feel better.
Sometimes(most of the time really) I add a brow raise which seems to remind all of us of the great feeling we got as babies when our Mom raised her brows while smiling at us. It reminds us of that previous bond we had, more specifically it gives us a good feeling.
This gives her a positive reaction when she LOOKS at me, so she is initially attracted most of the time. That is my non-threatening form of body language I use while evoking a positive feeling, but I DO NOT LOOK AWAY, I maintain strong eye contact.
My goal is to grab attention(eye contact) get recognition(my flirting signals sent), those were Givens first two phases of courtship. Hopefully she gets the message and sends her interest back(I see it through approach cues).
The confidence I have is shown in how I hold my head, my shoulders, stance, presence really. My relaxed behavior, having fun, and comfort are traits of a "alpha" male(according to Robert Sapolsky). I am confident with nonthreatening behavior.
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Just another guy from back in the day.
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