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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 2:42 am 
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Don you must have a sixth sense about these things. She did cancel. She was really nice and put in some serious effort to reschedule. I told her that I wouldn't make plans with her and that if she wanted to go out she had to call me the day of.

Did I handle the cancel well? I lost a lot of respect for the girl when she canceled, reason was pretty flaky, but she put forth some effort so I went for it.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 7:27 pm 
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Don you must have a sixth sense about these things. She did cancel. She was really nice and put in some serious effort to reschedule. I told her that I wouldn't make plans with her and that if she wanted to go out she had to call me the day of.

Did I handle the cancel well? I lost a lot of respect for the girl when she canceled, reason was pretty flaky, but she put forth some effort so I went for it.
Not really going to call it a "sixth sense", just that I can read the signs well.

And I told you, online deals have to be taken with a fistful of salt. You can never be sure of it materializing into anything tangible, while on the other hand meeting a living, breathing woman who you can see and touch everyday is a infinitely better option.

So, you handled the cancelling well, and I'd say you approach this matter with a "practice" mindset. Try out your lines and your techniques here, and in the meanwhile go and approach women around you whom you can meet and interact with regularly. The online thing can just be a side-job.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject: Re: shit test?
PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 7:31 pm 
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Background:
don't know how much you need to know about the situation, anyways, she had birthday, i first went to her house with a couple of her friends, then we went to a club, and basically everyone left us there to go somewhere else where we'd go later. So it was us 2, we had fun, talking, dancing, building attraction. We did Kiss but i pulled back really quick, because i originally wanted to close outside because inside you dont really understand what the other is saying except for if you scream in his ear. So after that i go to the dancefloor for only a few minutes when a guy sits next to her and they suddenly start making out and im like wtf. Just kept on dancing and eventually left with my friends without seeing her again. I did send her a sms asking if she is still coming into town with me to meet with her friends or if she went with random guy. Didnt response to that.

So to the question:
The next day i sent her a song she wanted to know yesterday and i got this back:
ah thanks :), i was just writing a sorry - sms because of yesterday :/, i am really sorry for 1. leaving you alone 2. because i have the feeling that you are not so happy about me always leaving with xy,or is this no problem?


My response was (hard to translate but ill try):
"I dont care with who you go making out or whatever,(dont get the always but doesnt matter), would have been nice if you told me something though, because i did look for you for 10 minutes ;)"

So Question is if you think that was a shittest or if this was her way of expressing that she has no sexual interest in me (i am 15(nearly 16), she turned 18 this weekend :s).
My answer wasn't really the best and i think she already knows that i am interested and i played the i dont give a damn card. (but seriously, how the fuck do you respond to that?)
That response actually gives off the vibe that you gave a damn about what you saw and are actually jealous about the whole affair. Contrary to what you thought would happen, isn't it?

That's why I keep droning on and on about being careful with your language and always speaking less than necessary.

Just a "Nope. It's your life and frankly, that's none of my business to comment on. :) " could've served the trick and given off the "I don't give a damn" vibe.

And if she knows you're interested, then play up the interest. Stop being so goddamned coy. We are men. We don't bat eyelashes or be coy about our interest. We are brutally honest about it.

So, don't beat around the bush. Be direct, be unapologetic and be honest. She'll appreciate that. Trust me.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 7:34 pm 
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Me and this girl used to be insanely attracted to each other freshman year of college, but I never took it past a certain point (no k-close) because I was an 18 year old p*ssy with no game. Contact slowly dwindled down to nothing, and I haven't contacted her at all for close to 2 years.

It is now senior year and i've learned a TON about gaming, especially regarding IOI's, which I was so clueless about back in freshman year. I ran into her on campus a few weeks ago but we didn't have time to talk much. However, from our brief encounter I learned that: she is still interested (gave IOI's) and her apartment is a 10 min walk from mine.

I've now decided that it's pure bitchery on my part that I haven't closed on this girl yet, so I plan on texting her out of the blue to see what's up.

When I ran into her she enthusiastically talked about how we "never smoke anymore!" and "you never hit me up anymore!" Smoking weed is something we always used to do together back in the day so I was thinking I would send her this:

"Hey ____! (or alternatively, 'hey stranger!') Come smoke with your old buddy ____(me)!"

If she responds then I would propose a time for her to come over and chill. My question is:

Is this too personal for 1&1/2 - 2 years of not texting her at all? Should I keep it casual and not even mention smoking? I keep overthinking this because she knew me back when I bitched out, so I don't want her to think "oh so NOW he grows some balls and wants to hang out, nah f*ck that!"

Should I just move on if i'm this passive and concerned about her reaction to a simple text?
Well, doesn't sound "too personal" considering it's based off of what she was talking to you about. Go ahead and try it out.

Also, leave the part about what she would think of your text to her. I assure you, women can think very well for themselves. Just worry about your side of the equation and don't be careless.

Even if she WAS interested back then, now's a very different time. Assume nothing and build attraction relentlessly. It's the present, not the past that we have to factor in, in the equation.

Also, if you are attracted to her, game her. If you aren't, move on.

That's how it generally works. So, figure out your feelings and take your course.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 11:55 pm 
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A couple of days ago, this girl asks me what I'm doing tomorrow. I told her nothing and that she should come shop with me because I wanted to get some new shirts. She said ok and really seemed like she wanted to go. I text her the next day (today) and ask her where to meet her. She says she has to do some stuff and she would let me know when she arrives at X location and it would be in a few hours. It's been 6 hours since that text so yeah she flaked.

I haven't texted her anything yet. Not sure what to say or if I should say anything at all. We don't have class for a week because of spring break. She told me she isn't doing anything for spring break either.


Last edited by DEEFORT on Sat Mar 10, 2012 1:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 6:04 am 
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Hi!
So Ive been seeing this girl for 3 weeks, but she seems to beggining to withdraw from me for no reason(we kissing, sleeping togtether etc.). So I called her yesterday(thursday) asking to see her friday for some movie time with me and one other couple and she agreed. Then I talked last evning a little on facebook and ask If I should pick her up from work, then she dide't answer and logged of facebook wich she already told me she would do soon cause she was helping friends with moving.

So I text her 10 min later on the phone.

Hey, dont know if you saw the last message on facebook, but do we still have a deal tommorow?, she replied 30 minutes later or so "Arh shit i dont know yet!"

I know she had to babysit her friends daughter and dide't know when she was done.

I have't replyed yet cause I had already gone to bed,

So what do I do know, wait for her to contact me today? calll her text her somehing ? :?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 3:19 pm 
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Hi!
So Ive been seeing this girl for 3 weeks, but she seems to beggining to withdraw from me for no reason(we kissing, sleeping togtether etc.). So I called her yesterday(thursday) asking to see her friday for some movie time with me and one other couple and she agreed. Then I talked last evning a little on facebook and ask If I should pick her up from work, then she dide't answer and logged of facebook wich she already told me she would do soon cause she was helping friends with moving.

So I text her 10 min later on the phone.

Hey, dont know if you saw the last message on facebook, but do we still have a deal tommorow?, she replied 30 minutes later or so "Arh shit i dont know yet!"
I wanted to give my opinion on this, just because there is one aspect I see here. She don't sound like she's having fun. Simply asking if the date is still on a day in advance shows a little weakness and desperation.

If you call at all or text, I would keep it light as hell. I would even forget the date plan, not mention it at all and just chat her up. You pushed and she is now pushing back. Time to regroup.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 4:18 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Hi!
So Ive been seeing this girl for 3 weeks, but she seems to beggining to withdraw from me for no reason(we kissing, sleeping togtether etc.). So I called her yesterday(thursday) asking to see her friday for some movie time with me and one other couple and she agreed. Then I talked last evning a little on facebook and ask If I should pick her up from work, then she dide't answer and logged of facebook wich she already told me she would do soon cause she was helping friends with moving.

So I text her 10 min later on the phone.

Hey, dont know if you saw the last message on facebook, but do we still have a deal tommorow?, she replied 30 minutes later or so "Arh shit i dont know yet!"
I wanted to give my opinion on this, just because there is one aspect I see here. She don't sound like she's having fun. Simply asking if the date is still on a day in advance shows a little weakness and desperation.

If you call at all or text, I would keep it light as hell. I would even forget the date plan, not mention it at all and just chat her up. You pushed and she is now pushing back. Time to regroup.

Well I wrote a text asking what she ment with her message "Arh shit i dont know yet"
She wrote back pretty quick but long text about a lot have called and text her yesterday aboout shit and stuff and leaving several message about if she was mad and why she was mad etc because she were't answering them either. So she felt alot of pressure(btw she smokes a bit of weed) and was busy.(She did mension I only wrote her once)

I then called her up about a half hour later and she dide't pick up, she have't called yet(4 hours) so im thinking about just dropping contact comepletly even if she calls'. Make her chase me again as she always has in the past each time I met her and dide't want her.


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 Post subject: Help needed
PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 4:14 pm 
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Hey Don, I read your post with great interest, you're really good at giving advice, thumps up! keep up the good work!!

My problem SPAM is that I have this HB8 at my school, who I find absolutely stunning! I’m normally not intimidated by girls, but there’s something about this one.. When I try to approach a girl I always variate my style so it matches the girl (such as being cocky, funny, sweet, arrogant and so on). The style I use most is definitely David D’A. cocky & funny “role”.

The problem with this girl is that I just don’t know how to approach. She is really beautiful, and very much sought after by guys. When I meet her on the hall, I try to gain eye-contact with her. I succeed but, I can’t hold it!
She seems a bit shy (but I can’t tell for sure, since I’ve never spoken to her). We were together at a party, where I saw her k-close with a totally douche bag (so she’s probably into arrogant guys)

I went to a party yesterday, where I had my A-game on! I tried to find her, and when i finally did, another dude was k-closing her (aggaiin).

So on my way home I bump into her and I make a really bad opener; something like "U must be freezing, how do you survive? (she had bare legs, and it was like 0 degrees outside). She was hurrying home, so it didn't seem like she was interested in a conversation. Therefor I let her go.

Any advice?

Thanks in advance!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 5:53 pm 
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A couple of days ago, this girl asks me what I'm doing tomorrow. I told her nothing and that she should come shop with me because I wanted to get some new shirts. She said ok and really seemed like she wanted to go. I text her the next day (today) and ask her where to meet her. She says she has to do some stuff and she would let me know when she arrives at X location and it would be in a few hours. It's been 6 hours since that text so yeah she flaked.

I haven't texted her anything yet. Not sure what to say or if I should say anything at all. We don't have class for a week because of spring break. She told me she isn't doing anything for spring break either.
Well, seems to me that since this whole "let's get together and shop" plan was a spur of the moment thing, rather than something carefully thought out, maybe the attraction between you and her isn't ,how do we put it, at the optimum level. So, instead of worrying about what to say and what to do and things like spring break, here's a thought : Talk to her.

You need to be able to just start talking to her and engaging her attention for as long as you want. Unless she is interested in listening to you, in sharing things with you, unless she feels "comfortable" with you, she's never going to go out with you. Well, not in the capacity that you want her to ,anyway.

So, for now, work on creating attraction, work on establishing a basic level of comfort. Be patient. It might take a few days, but once you've got past her barriers, it will be smooth sailing.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 6:00 pm 
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Hi!
So Ive been seeing this girl for 3 weeks, but she seems to beggining to withdraw from me for no reason(we kissing, sleeping togtether etc.). So I called her yesterday(thursday) asking to see her friday for some movie time with me and one other couple and she agreed. Then I talked last evning a little on facebook and ask If I should pick her up from work, then she dide't answer and logged of facebook wich she already told me she would do soon cause she was helping friends with moving.

So I text her 10 min later on the phone.

Hey, dont know if you saw the last message on facebook, but do we still have a deal tommorow?, she replied 30 minutes later or so "Arh shit i dont know yet!"

I know she had to babysit her friends daughter and dide't know when she was done.

I have't replyed yet cause I had already gone to bed,

So what do I do know, wait for her to contact me today? calll her text her somehing ? :?
Listen, man. Here's the thing, you must have changed in your actions and behavior towards her after you got intimate with her. That's why she's backing off now. She just isn't interested in the needy, clingy version of you that you've evolved into. And who can blame her? As a guy, you also get sick of that girl at the bar, who takes a ton of effort to get into your sheets, but becomes a needy, whiny little thing the morning-after.

The problem is that you need to be able to GIVE HER SPACE and time to think her way around things. You think you're being polite in your constant enquiry but it must feel incredibly annoying to her. And hence, she's dodging your contact.

So, for a few days, don't initiate any form of contact and wait for her signal. If she does initiate contact with you, just try to show affection but don't take it over the top. So what if you've kissed or slept with her, seduction is a constant process. Slip somewhere in between and you can blow everything apart. Don't get too complacent and stick to your initial frame 'cause that is who she was attracted to in the first place, not the pseudo-Romeo that you have probably become by now.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject: Re: Help needed
PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 6:20 pm 
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Hey Don, I read your post with great interest, you're really good at giving advice, thumps up! keep up the good work!!

My problem SPAM is that I have this HB8 at my school, who I find absolutely stunning! I’m normally not intimidated by girls, but there’s something about this one.. When I try to approach a girl I always variate my style so it matches the girl (such as being cocky, funny, sweet, arrogant and so on). The style I use most is definitely David D’A. cocky & funny “role”.

The problem with this girl is that I just don’t know how to approach. She is really beautiful, and very much sought after by guys. When I meet her on the hall, I try to gain eye-contact with her. I succeed but, I can’t hold it!
She seems a bit shy (but I can’t tell for sure, since I’ve never spoken to her). We were together at a party, where I saw her k-close with a totally douche bag (so she’s probably into arrogant guys)

I went to a party yesterday, where I had my A-game on! I tried to find her, and when i finally did, another dude was k-closing her (aggaiin).

So on my way home I bump into her and I make a really bad opener; something like "U must be freezing, how do you survive? (she had bare legs, and it was like 0 degrees outside). She was hurrying home, so it didn't seem like she was interested in a conversation. Therefor I let her go.

Any advice?

Thanks in advance!
Well, here's the first thing that you need to realize : She's NOT attracted to bad boys and douche-bags.

Sure, you can label those guys as such, depending on their qualities and antics but let's be honest, if we are going to look for the underlying quality, it's that this "bad boy" type is known for being very upfront and bold about what they want. And they pull back no punches from their words either. That's the lesson you need to take away.

No one likes an asshole. No one likes a jerk. Not even women. They are just attracted by the underlying qualities. Cultivate the same qualities in your personality and you should be doing as good, if not better than the so-called "bad boys".

Your second problem is that you've been putting the girl on a pedestal. If you've already secured her position as above you, then you've de-valued yourself and that's not a healthy mindset to have. At the same time, I find it a bit strange how your self-esteem would even allow you to consider another human being 'above' you, just because he/she gets more attention. Stupid mistake. Get rid of that belief. We are ALL the same. Sounds like a tagline for a lot of social equality programs, I know. Who cares. It's true. Get that drilled inside your head.

Finally, stop worrying so much about sounding cool and suave and all that. You're in high school, for crying out loud. You basically have no idea about so many things and yet, you want to come off as a world-weary, all-knowing guy. Well, no dice. If you're a student, be that part and use that to your advantage.

Does she make you nervous? Use that.

Is she pretty? Use that.

And here's a quote from the movie Roger Dodger. Every word is worth it, in gold. Use it wisely.
Quote:
Roger: Hi, Angela. My name is-- What is it?

Darren:Darren.

Roger: My name is Darren. Every time I see you in the hall, I have the urge to talk to you. So I try to think of something clever to say... but I get so nervous...
that nothing comes out. We don't know each other right now, but I'd like to maybe... invite you out for a soda sometime so that we could talk. I'd like to see what we have in common. But most of all, I'm curious to find out... what kind of person you really are... because I am tired of looking at you from a dist--

And so on and so forth. Take that out for a spin. See how it works.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 6:44 pm 
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Quote:
Well, seems to me that since this whole "let's get together and shop" plan was a spur of the moment thing, rather than something carefully thought out, maybe the attraction between you and her isn't ,how do we put it, at the optimum level. So, instead of worrying about what to say and what to do and things like spring break, here's a thought : Talk to her.

You need to be able to just start talking to her and engaging her attention for as long as you want. Unless she is interested in listening to you, in sharing things with you, unless she feels "comfortable" with you, she's never going to go out with you. Well, not in the capacity that you want her to ,anyway.

So, for now, work on creating attraction, work on establishing a basic level of comfort. Be patient. It might take a few days, but once you've got past her barriers, it will be smooth sailing.
It was a spur of the moment. It's been about a month and a half of this. We always see each other on campus and talk for a couple of hours since we have the same break. She even texted me one day about a concert (she knows I'm a big fan) and I texted back that we should go. She said that it would be amazing and she would go.

But I guess I'll work more on building attraction and comfort.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 1:06 am 
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I like it when people who know what they are doing respond with advice.

Okay when it comes to text game I am not the best. I get the basics right. Don't be needy don't reply instantly etc. But most of my girls are not the result of good text game.

Okay this girl and I have been talking about 3 weeks. In person our conversations are fun and filled with teasing, flirting etc. When we text or mostly chat(BBM) it is a whole different story. She would randomly say stuff like that hug I gave her today was the best and I have a talent for hugs(we haven't kissed) and after that the conversation would just get boring with her giving me short replies. If I reply with shorter messages the conversation just dies faster. But If i type longer ones telling a story etc. she would still give short replies. I don't know should I continue with short replies and have no conversation or whatnot. I don't really know if I can build attraction comfort or sexual tension if I can't really get a conversation going. But when we talk in person the signs of her being interested are there. She sometimes waits for me after class just to say goodbye


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 2:47 am 
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Don, several times now there have been moments when a girl I am texting seems to be fishing for support. Like she will say,
"I don't want to go to my terrible job"
"I don't want to go to school(college) right now"
"Homework sucks, I have to do laundry and write a term paper"

My question is, how do I respond. I get the overwhelming feeling that I need to make them earn my support rather than give it freely, but I'm not sure how to do that.


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