Hello everyone, I know this is a LONG post... bare with me

I am new on this forum and this will be my first post. I would like your help or opinions on what I should do from some experts so if you wouldn't mind. Hear my story.

So I recently got a job as a Security Officer at a mall, we wear level 3 kevlar vests and carry handcuffs etc. We pretty much look like cops (rent-a-cop). I was walking around the mall 1 day and I saw 2 girls in a store, my partner and I walked in to go talk to them cuz apparently he knows them. P.S he's married, he was just trying to introduce me.

Anyways, I go in and I talk to the first girl and she says she recognizes me. (I use to be a bartender at a nice restaurant known for its pretty woman and service. The ratio was 1:20 for men.) So she says "Hey do you remember me? we went out together before" and then thats when I realized I had gone out with her and her friend one night after the clubs.

Long story short, the girl I didn't know (Natasha) came up to me at the end of the night when they both got off work to ask me for my phone number and BBM (BlackBerry Messenger)

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So heres where the story starts,

I started talking to the girl I didn't know (Natasha), she would initiate the texts so I thought that was a clear sign that shes interested.

We messaged back and forth for a couple days then I asked her out for Valentines, (Note that she broke up with her ex-bf 2 months back and shes still not ready to date yet)

When I asked her out for valentines she told me, casual and no romance. I agreed but made a joke about how we're going to have to hook up since its valentines, she laughed and that was that.

The night went well, she told me during dinner she doesn't kiss on the first date. By the end of the night, I didn't make a move because she was hesitant. She told me she had a good time and wants to do it again and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

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So a few days go by since we wen't on our date, I asked her out for a second date. She told me

and these are her exact words:

"Heres the thing. Id love too but I want you to know im absolutely not ready for anything. Honestly I had a lot of fun but right now dating isnt an option for me. I was extremely hurt from my last ex and letting someone in again is a really scary situation for me. So casual dinner yes,m romance I can't. If you understand then tank you i not im sorry."

(during our date she told me I was the only 1 she was talking to and that she was interested)

anyways, after all that. We set up a second date. The date will be in a few days an I'm not sure where I stand. I talked to her friend to make sure i'm not in the friendzone and she replied saying "Natasha only wants to start out as friends cuz shes not ready, but she is interested and she KNOWS shes missing out on a good oppurtunity but shes just not ready"



Now I know its been a long read, so if you've made it thru thanks for reading. I would like some advice. What do I do or say on my second date? our first date was great, she was laughing and everything I said was funny. Also, we had lots of sexual tension on the first date and we also talked about sex.

Had a similar situation to this some months back, met a girl through a friend, on the first night we met she wanted to sleep with me but I declined (long story I won't go into) over the next week we met up 3 times, kissing on every occasion and she'd text me first thing every morning at like 7am, then after like a week and a half of this literally 5 minutes after I spoke to her on the phone to arrange our date for the night she's text's me saying she doesn't want a boyfriend right now coz blah blah blah it's not you it's me etc and could we just go out as friends. I said I respected her views and wasn't gonna force her into anything she's not ready for, I saw her once or twice again that week and just held back respecting her feelings etc and ended up with nothing, not even a friend. Looking back I think it may have just been a massive shit-text which I failed, so my advice is try not to come on too strong, but still push things as far as you can before she actually says not to go any further, for example go for a kiss goodbye but if she says stop etc just say "hey I was just going to kiss your cheek". Hindsight is a bitch, you gotta act now because the likelyhood is you won't get a second chance.

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"My toughest opponent is always myself"
Musterion's Journal

Thanks,

I'm going on a second date with her, but I'm going to take her to the place I use to work at. All the girls know me and the bartenders too, my goal is to impress her and DHV.

I'll go in for a kiss this time but if it fails I'll try what you told me.

TL;DR



No, just kidding


Just keep doing what you do man. Sometimes it's as simple as it looks. She likes you but isn't ready yet. Bare with her, she will get over it.

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Quantity. For someday, you will find quality. And you gotta do something in the meantime.

Thanks guys, I'm no longer texting her unless she initiates. Date is in 3 days.

Good call in my opinion .
However i've always wondered what happens if shes doesn't initiate ? Im not saying this in your specific case , but as a general question . Whats the next step if she doesnt initiate...is there even a next step ?

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When you don't give a fuck , that's when you begin to fuck .

From what I learned so far. If she doesn't initiate, I would just wait for date #2 in a couple of days.