well..i totally emphatise with u..cuz guess what..i'm in the same situation ..the sole reason i'm coming into PU is to forget her..but i seriously wanna get her back using these skills man..and thanks everyone for the superb advice...

I gotta say, I'm pretty relieved that I'm not the only one with a serious oneitis problem.

Girls are a dangerous game to play man.

So is he fucking her?? If not then he's not where he wants to be.

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I'm almost as sweet as lemon juice... almost

there's 2 kinds of Thought Downtime and Uptime

Downtime is when your mind is left to think about in drepressing thoughts in your case the girl. This can occur when you're not active doing things that excite you. Lets say your sitting in your room on your computer probably on this forum she's probably popped in your mind several times

Uptime requires you immediately change the subject in your mind when ever you feel your starting to think about depressing thoughts. Change it by hanging out with your friends or actively playing a sport a video game even. Think about the last pair boobies you felt on and how good they were(hopefully the last one's weren't your ex's). Actively talk to other women. whatever you do if you feel unwanted thoughts creeping up force it out think of anything else.

now with the oneitis---your only making it worse by delaying your true feelings towards her

and it'll only get worse even if your hanging around her flirting with her SLOWLY/RETARDEDLY making your move........don't wait get it over with now
and if it doesn't work out plently of fish in the sea

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I'm almost as sweet as lemon juice... almost

LMAO! Claire, two EXCELLENT posts by you!

I especially love the first one

Hm. This is good advice, but the problem for me becomes, things that used to be exciting don't really do it for me anymore. New girls don't do much for me, etc etc... I tried this morning to think of something new to try that would be exciting, that would give me something to look forward to... but I came up empty handed.

ooooooo, wow . . .

New girls=new minds to probe=new bodies to explore=new experiences to have=another girl to take up to cloud 9 and beyond=new activities to experience sexually and non-sexually with her=VERY exciting!

You tried to think of new things to excite you and came up with nothing? WOW. How?

LOL, this is just one example from me. Just the subject of girls, albeit a subject of which I absolutely LOVEEEEEE, but still just one example, lol.

lol I know it makes no logical sense. With girls, I just don't feel like I could attain that same level of connection again. Perhaps that's bullshit but I can't shake the feeling. With anything else... well, for example. I'm in a band. We travel every week, play shows for lots of women, women that want to talk to us and spend time with us afterwards. Should be exciting right? Don't get me wrong, I always have a good time or I wouldn't do it, but afterwards (and sometimes during) I just sink back into negativity.

For another example, a little while back I tried motocross. I had never ridden any type of motorcycle before and I was just like "fuck it" and I got on and went balls to the wall. I went off jumps, ate shit multiple times, blah blah... there were a few moments of fear, but not much in the way of excitement.

The best way I can describe this is that I'm too "conscious" now... it takes a lot to like catch me off guard, if that makes sense. Like for example, going back to the girl... she started off as just a fuck buddy, I was actually pretty much an all out dick to her (my own version of shit testing? lol) for a long time. Then at some strange point (this is what I'm talking about when I say being caught off guard) I started to feel attached to her, I actually CARED about her. It was weird. But these days I can't help but be overly conscious (over analyzing??) It's almost like I have to feel things on purpose??? or something??

I don't know, that's a pretty shitty explanation but it's the best I can come up with.

I think another part of it, is I just got into such a bad habit of thinking negatively about my situation with her when it first happened, that I let it infect all the other areas of my thought process... and now it has become such a habit that I'm having a very hard time getting rid of it.

Ok. As far as worrying that you can't reach the same level of connection with another girl . . . to be blunt, you don't WANT to. You don't want to connect that deeply with every other girl. So, quit worrying that it will never happen. Sure, eventually you will want to connect that deeply with SOMEONE, but you worrying about it constantly affects your ability to connect at all with any other girl. WHEN that someones comes along, THEN worry about it. My guess is, you won't have to worry about it because it will just happen.

As far as being more consciously aware of stuff, there's nothing wrong with that either. Nothing at all. That's not what's cripling you either. In fact, it's GOOD to be THAT aware.

No, what's cripling you is your negative thoughts. Plain and simple. Talk to Doc about that. He knows the NLP stuff very well. He may be albe to help you with it.

Hm. That post actually helped me out a lot. You're on a roll with helping me haha. I don't know, I guess the bigger issue here is that I'm like.... afraid of actually letting this go, for whatever reason. Not as if I have a choice, I can either keep thinking about it and be depressed or I can try to let go of it and get better. I can't help but miss her and the myriad of feelings she brought to my life, plus the ability to be ignorantly happy... but I CAN try to ignore that I miss it. That's what I have been doing all today, and today I have felt much better... but I still have this "too conscious" feeling.

I know it's good to be that aware, but I hate it. I actually have been throwing around the thought that maybe I was always this aware, I just THINK it feels different because I have been focusing on the past SO MUCH. I don't know, it's strange... like I said, I can have the most intense vivid visual memories and I can feel the feelings I had at the time... and thats what really gets me. I can't even describe this accurately, actually. I'll have to talk to Doc about it.

Ok, first of all, it's natural to miss her. You will miss her. Second, it's just not healthy to dwell on the past. Actually, the intense vivid memories and emotions can be used to your benefit. That can show you how to weave stories together to engage girl's emotions with words when you talk to them. That will trigger feelings in THEM that will be linked to you. If those feelings are good, that's good new for you.

So, no, don't focus on the past, but use the past as a springboard. Yep, talk to Doc about it. I don't know, I still think the NLP could help you.

A Bitch did the same thing to me, the cheek of it. Totally block you out and not even give you a reason on why it ended.

I can tell you this now, there's a 95% chance thsat a guy did the same thing to them and they are doing it to you so the7y can understand why the guy did it to them. She feels that you don't deserve to know why she ended it and wants to fuck your head up, Just know that that is her intention and don't let her get to you. She wants to drag you down to her miserable level

What doesnt kill you makes you stronger ey?

now go play some girls and get over that one-itis

Respect.

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Thanks guys.

I say Chikito's advice is MONEY on this subject.

X's are tough man... but you gotta prove your different then you were then... like a completly new interaction.