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Well from an outsider perspective, this is my opinion. First off, you seem desperate, extremely desperate at that. Maybe you are becoming clingy/needy or showing some other negative trait. You also sound like a some sort of hopeless romantic, maybe you are falling in love with these girls to fast? And you are a virgin! You should not be dating girls for 3 months and still be a virgin unless it's a moral thing. Insecurity is a very aweful thing and it shows up without most people ever realizing it.
Are you actually getting into relationship or are these just your preception of a relationship? Maybe its a friendship? How are your skills with women? What do you projectas a person?(humour, manliness, comfort) Please give more details and maybe we can help you out. Everyone has flaws dude, I for instance am a mean motherfucker to people who are close to me, but as long as you can catch yourself doing negative things then you can change them.
thanks for replying guys
alright, im going to try tell you about me some more.
Im 17, ived kissed one girl. I had to lie so much to her to get her to respect me. She was also a model.
3 years ago, i lost around 20 friends, including 7 of the only lady friends i had. Ever since i have not interacted with any female without having the desire to sleep with her.
I always come across one girl. then stop looking.
game her...tease her...kiss her...BAM! Im in love! im fucking attached. can't stop thinking about her. litterally. i tell myself: i wont do it with the next girl. but its impossible.i cant focus at school. where is she at night? why is she posting picture of her and guys up? do i not mean anything to her?
I send her shit
hoping she'll fall into my arms the next day.
little do i know, she's already run.
but what always makes me think is:
Was the memories all for nothing?
i dont know man. i only go for the best looking girls. i think its because of my uncle. he was born a natural, so much pressure on me to live up to him, bringing god damn super models back.
right now, i dont have anything...is it really like it is on the movies? girls spending hours talking to each other about the guy? gossiping? them trying their best to impress me?
id say im fairly good looking, its hard living up to my looks though. sometimes i approach 50 girls one night. othertimes, at school i get nervous when a 9 even makes eye contact with me. this lonliness is driving me so demented. some nights i just feel so depressed.
im more happy now though. i've picked up guitar. it's just that part of my heart that needs a reltionship to aquire true happiness is missing.
there are so many things i want in life, having a sexual relationship is one what i decided is most important. and thats what im trying to dedicate to. im a romantic, i just want to love a girl, and her love me back, you know? not just me loving, and she runs for some reason fucking EVERYTHING up.
i feel like im wasting everyday not talking to girls. i get so scared approaching. i dont know what to do...wait out more? ive already waited 3 years...in those 3 years i met one girl, who i stopped talking to 1 month ago.
i mean, theres guys at school with super fucking hot girlfriends...the girl he can laugh with...who can appriciate him and be there for him...who can have a sexual relationship and respect each him...what do i have...a guitar and xbox.
i never understood how to just get a long relationship with a girl. i always fizzle out. i tell myself, alright you know, i think i love this girl. ah fucking hell man.