i am dealing with this girl who, for the most part, keeps the drama at a minimum. however, she uses one compliance test over and over and has been at it for some while. it's a subtle thing. but it annoys the living shit out of me.

CHANGE THE SUBJECT!

mid-conversation, she will say emphatically "change the subject! change the subject!" if something is like risque, or controversial, or serious. you know, not every word spoken in every conversation is flirting and sexual. occasionally, genuine conversation happens.

and the thing is, SHE will be the one to bring up some of these subjects. then suddenly, she demands "change the subject!" it really doesn't upset me, other than the fact that it is clearly a compliance (shit) test and i don't like being forced to comply.

last night i told her straight out (i didn't bitch, or whine, or moan). i just said "i am not looking for some backward mother-son relationship where i'm told what and when i can discuss, so next time you feel the need to shout "change the subject" just don't say it, and instead be an adult and proactively change the subject yourself"

lol

i know i reacted. but the shit was getting old.

the thing is, it's clearly an attempt to make you feel awkward in a conversation.

the pattern is:

she brings subject up, i engage, we talk, she decides when she has had enough and says "change the subject!", if i don't comply, she acts as if i am the awkward one (when clearly she should feel that she is for doing it), i don't comply, she takes disapproving tone, then gets all serious...

last night i called her out on it.

fuck it.
any ideas on the best ways to handle this situation when it arrives?

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Hey!
That is weird, the idea if you are with this type of girls that no matter what she says yo are not gonna get in a bad mood, ok? if she says "change the subject" there are lots of things you can say but depends on the kind of relationship you have with her if you want to be playful you can look at her int he eyes smiling and tell her " Why do you always do that" just confront her but don't match if she get angry if she does tease her about it, I love when you get mad, you look sexy when you get angry.

If you are very confident just look at her in the eyes - in these cases eye contact is extremely important- and tell her " I don't feel like it" and smile and just keep talking,if you see that she looks angry tell her " you look very sexy right now should have done this before"

Hope is not too direct for you.

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Winners have simply formed the habit of doing things losers do not like to do 18/03/12

maybe u can even use the fact that she started that topic (since u say that she is the one that starts it)
"change the subject" ... laugh and neg her "well ur the one that started the boring/wierd etc etc subject"
if she says "if its a boring/weird etc etc subject, then why continue on with it ? " then just say "im just entertaining/amusing etc etc myself with your boring/weird etc etc subject"

Use her tactic and yell CHANGE SUBJECT right in her face.

''SAY PLEASE ''

Dont do that you wont go down to her immature level.

You did things right, is probably going to be enough.

if not she is retard in that case dump her.

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Oh! You've gotta be kidding me!

i appreciate the advice.

this is a weird shit test though.

i'd like to hear even more points-of-view on it.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Maybe she has some kind of emotional problem. I am not sure what you converse about, but I am assuming deep stuff with serious matters. Do you know about her childhood, could it be that she was affected as a child mentally, and these discussions bring her to those memories?

I really don't know, but I do believe its a psychological reason. You should definitely find out about that. As what you can do, I say talk to her about it. Be an adult, sit down, and converse. If she is too immature to handle it then you must question your status in the relationship. Are you with her cause you want sex or a LTR. If she can't handle a LTR then maybe she isn't the one. I know sometimes, men -like women, wish to fix things (or people), just because of personal psychological reasoning.

With that said, maybe seek a friend of yours who is a psychologist and just ask his/her opinion. It can't hurt, and if you care about her isn't it worth it?

A more PUA approach to this might be also psychological, conditioning.

Why don't you condition her, every time she does this action you walk away. That way she will realize what is causing you to leave, or abruptly end what ever is happening, and eliminate that stimulus/action to continue the conversation. I believe this is called reverse conditioning, but don't quote me on that.

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Best of Luck
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Aspiring Artist

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Hahaa... This is Helarious - And I know exactly what you mean because I experienced the same thing with a girl long time back. Infact I've met two other girls like this but they were just friends at the time. I dont think it ever upset me because I just ignored the comment and continued with a question or just continued.

What you did, was kinda good. I dont think its a shit test but more out of habit. She probably could have a short attention span or not a good listener.

The moment she says "change the subject" why not just ask her a question/opinion on that topic, that could keep her on the Subject

She: Change the subject!

You: No. *Look away as if you've caught attention of something, then stand up and start walking away.*

She: Where the fuck are you going? I was talking to you.

You: I'm going to the toilet, and I'm sure that will be more entertaining that this boring subject.(Cheeky grin)

what a fucking weirdo

"Change the subject" is a very overt way of her trying to steal the frame (compliance is just a way to see how in control of the frame you truly are). It's a dismissive method of saying to you "I no longer want to hear about this shit, keep flipping through your mental Rolodex of topics till you find something I like" akin to telling the person in the front seat of the car to keep tuning into radio stations till you find one YOU like.

Fuckin bitch. Don't change the subject, continue on it if she walks she walks - sounds like a fuckin whackjob anyway.

Sticks and carrots my friend.. sticks and carrots.

Everytime she says this punish her... For example, she says Change the subject, pull out you wrote and start playing a game or texting. Keep on until she mentions it and say " oh" and resume conversation.

Or As soon as soon as she says it, say something like " you should start working out"

Or as soon as she says it says " you have a booger hanging"

Or even better when she says it tell her to leave " oh I forgot i have to meet up with my friend, I have to go."

Also you can try to compliment her on a time she doesn't say it.. like " I like how we stayed on subject and had a full conversation this time"

She probably just gets tired of you talking and wants to put her input on something.. SELFISH BITCH! lol

And no offense but most single women around your have issues lol hence the reason they aren't married yet. Most, not all.

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