I met this girl a month ago and have met up several times for drinks and kissed her. She laughs a lot, touches me A LOT, and everything is going great.

But she's called me a sleep-around, a player, man slag, that kinda stuff. It's funny because I'm a virgin :/

I think the way I display myself as a guy who has plenty of girls to sleep with is really good. Usually a girl can smell a virgin a mile away but no girls know my biggest hidden secret...That wouldn't probably shock them. I've told a few girls I was a virgin and they didn't beleive it, they don't beleive me...The first girl I ever kissed, I told her she was my first and she also didn't beleive me...

Anyway I'm getting off track...I've tried being upfront and direct with this girl. I've told her she was cute and she laughed it off. I said I'm being serious with a straight poker face, I was actually telling the truth. But still she laughs it off and saying no you don't think that etc

Then she says I always play around and she knows I'm not being serious...in fact I am.

Question is, why don't these girls ever beleive a word I say? Is it this player character of mine doing the damage? Girls never take anything I say to heart, maybe because they think I say it to everyone...This will fuck me up when I want a relationship, and I kinda do with this particular girl but why is that girls first impression of me? That I'm a player? It's far from the truth and to be honest, I liked it at first I thought it was cool but now girls won't take me seriously.

First off want to say same boat, virgin and girls never believe it, they always are like bs and I just say yup kk...

As for your issue, I think you should be more serious when you first meet. They probably meet you have an awesome time, you build great attraction, just not enough comfort or serious conversation. They immediately identify you as the funny guy who is awesome to hang around and sometimes play with. Just curious, do you get emotional with girls at all? By this I mean showing a vulnerable side, now this doesnt mean tell her all your problems right away but lets say for example family is big (to me) I would ask her about her family and then give a dhv story about me and my fam and be serious and say how I was forced to live away from my family at fresh year of high school and make cash, so although I was literally far away I was closer to them then ever and even feel I have a connection that most dont have with their families.

But yea, I think just add a more vunerable/emotional side to you.

_________________
Best of Luck
-Raphael

Aspiring Artist

Read the adventures I take as I discover my way towards becoming a mPUA or a dPUA (decent PUA) including completing the StyleChallenge ---> raphaels-journel-vt119594.html

That, may very well be it my friend. I always try to be Mr Irresistible, Mr Cocky/Funny etc. You know, I don't think I ever have sat down with a girl and had a sort of serious rapport building conversation. My early PUA knowledge has taught me to be cocky, funny, hard to get but not much more. It's given me some bad habits, that's for sure. I learnt them, I can unlearn them too.

I always feel that talking to a girl like that is boring and she will also get bored of you and lose interest altogether. Talk to me as you would to a newbie...how do you show that vulernable/emotional side you spoke of? I think that girls cannot connect with me because of this. Also I don't wanna turn into Mr AFC or a loser. I have no idea how to do what you speak of. Can you tell me a bit more about what you mean?

Thanks

Well I have always used my family thing as my emotional connection simply because of that fact, but it is hard to show emotional and vulnerability, but if done correctly it works to your advantage. Hence the whole I have cancer approach some people do.

What you do is exactly as you have been doing, which is what I do. Cocky funny, have fun, light humour, make them laugh and all. Perfect, its once you isolate that you get serious. My problem is and will be until I fix it, I try and isolate to fast. Allow yourself to be with the group more if she is with one. Have fun like normal make jokes, cocky humour, but with the group. This is really hard to learn probably at first, I feel like I am doing stand up comedy sometimes and it is difficult cause the crowd doesn't always like your material but you work with what they say. You probably can do this. Then you isolate like normal and this is when you ask her more serious questions be direct.

S.o to Mystery

Your really cute, but what makes you different from everyone else. --We are assuming she is interested in you and is showing IOI let her qualify herself now, she will if she is interested, and I guarantee she will ask you questions to match her checklist for a guy, I did it last night 2 diff sets and they always ask you back. --

Now comes the emotional connection, I don't know what is emotional to you but everyone has one, were all fucked up. You got to connect with that side of you and show it, but in a manly way. Don't make her feel sorry for you, make her be like holy shit this guy has been through a lot and isn't affected by it, hes a fucking man. You know it, the sensitive guy gets the girls, guy who writes poetry and shit. I so do this, why cause girls like that emotional shit, and truth be told I do too haha -fuck off dont judge me! Anyways, connect with her on that. Lets say it is family, its perfectly normal to ask a girl what her family relationship is, if she likes you, you can ask her about the fucking moon and talk about conspiracy theories you know that.

So to sum this all up, cause I do go off topic a bit (I think), just find something that is personal to you, maybe you were bullied, maybe you had a rough start in life, what ever it is make it like your college essay for getting into school. You know that gay essay you had to write about how the day you tripped and broke your foot you learnt so much about yourself than anything else. Let her know that story, obviously be serious, she will be able to tell if you BS, but confidence will allow you to lie if needed.

Hope that helps, if I wasn't specific enough tell me what specifics you want and I will try and answer. Also everyone is an AFC imho even if they can lay with 1000 girls, cause theres always that one girl that makes him go back to their first time sarging mode. We ain't perfect :p

_________________
Best of Luck
-Raphael

Aspiring Artist

Read the adventures I take as I discover my way towards becoming a mPUA or a dPUA (decent PUA) including completing the StyleChallenge ---> raphaels-journel-vt119594.html