Do (alot) of guys settle for 'worse' in a relationship?



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 Post subject: Never Settle. Ever.
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 9:54 pm 
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Not all men settle.

Some men settle. And some men fall in love.

She doesn't have to be a "10" to be loved.

From an old blog post of mine...

"How to Find a Soul Mate (Five Easy Steps)" http://realhumanconnect.com/5-steps-to- ... -for-real/
Quote:
Seek the perfect partner, but be open-minded.

As with so many things in life, the answer exists in the balance.

But how do you find the balance?

The trick is to NOT confuse settling with falling in love.

Settling happens when you negotiate with yourself.

If you find yourself comparing and contrasting; thinking things like “She isn’t as attractive as I would have liked, but she gets along with my friends well…” or “She is not as supportive as I would have liked, but she’s fun…” – then you are settling.

On the other hand, if you find yourself forgetting about your “perfect partner” (this is why you didn’t write it down) or if you find yourself doubting that you ever really cared about certain qualities and thinking things like “Why did I say she needed to be blond? That was stupid…I don’t really care about that.” – then you are not settling; you are allowing your positive experience to change what you want.

If desire to be with her makes you forget about your “perfect partner”, then you are letting love override.

Unfortunately many guys want the best for themselves so strongly, that although they may be open-minded, they fear allowing love to take them beyond their idea of a “perfect partner”.
In summary, you are settling if you are acting out of fear. (i.e. Fear of her not finding another women who is hot enough.)

But if you are acting out of love, then that's not settling.

That's awesome.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 11:19 pm 
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Quote:
? How often do you see a women being treated like sh!t who stays with her man? Why? Because it's easy - and to a degree, cowardly.
Look deeper into why people do what they do. When people make a choice they commit to it because they choose it. "Those women" have chosen their significant other. They convinced themselves he is the right decision. And after they commit they will do everything in their power to make their "good" decision become a reality. Why? Because they choose the man, and if the man is bad, then they are bad for choosing him. So they ignore the bad and focus on the good.

Which is actually a good thing to do. Sometimes they make those first decisions based on the good reasons and the man changes. It's difficult for people to realize they have made a mistake. For many people admitting they have made a mistake it next to impossible. Those people never change.

Maybe you have an idea like you would like to help those women? If you tell them they are stupid and cowardly they will resent you. Because you have judged them without understanding why they choose their partner. It's not fair, to the millions of women in the world that you have no idea about, to call them cowardly.

Stop trying to box people into categories. You are just afraid of being or becoming like them. So you are pushing them away. True confidence comes when you are not afraid to respect all kinds of people. After you realize that other peoples decisions don't influence you then you are confident.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 12:51 am 
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5 years ago in my shy days, I lost my virginity, dated the girl on and off for 4 years. Yes men settle. At first she was a drunk party girl with zero education and no goals. Just a warm vagina and a person I can put my arm around. I even made her into more of the girl I wanted, made her go to college, mature, learn to drive, ect... Instead of finding a new girl I tried to make her into my model girlfriend. That's called desperation. Anyways I don't regret her but I did settle. It's that AFC mentality of having no options..
oh my god, i could have written that.

only my story would have ended with:

- we had a kid
- she made twice the money i did
- she fucked me over and started banging pua's off the internet

lol

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