That is going to be really tough. Your best course of action would have been to let her break up with you in that case.

Ignore the crap she says about not wanting to lose you as a best friend, that's a bunch of garbage. Women want to stay friends after breaking up because it helps them to get over the break up more quickly; they get the emotional support they need, while not having to provide anything physical. It also helps them to not feel guilty. NEVER be friends with a woman after breaking up. It helps their healing process, while hurting yours. Don't give them that benefit. If a few months or years down the road, and you're both over it, then you think you'd like to be friends, then that's fine.

In your case, it has only been a week. I would suggest you take some time, work on yourself, and try to move on. The breakup is still fresh and you are thinking about her, so you are naturally going to want her back. You might feel differently in a month.

If you do still want her back, it's going to be hard, since you broke up with her and she was pulling away anyway. You kind of did her job for her and removed her guilt. Since she wanted to be friends, you have to remove your friendship and force her to heal without your emotional support. You can still talk to her, but very Limited Contact, and you have to act calm and confident, like losing her was no big deal. Control the conversations and keep them short; be the one to end the conversations.
Do not get caught up talking about anything emotional with her. Do not be her emotional tampon. It is very important that you do NOT provide her with emotional support! Do not be there for her. You do not have to answer the phone every time she calls, or respond to all of her texts.

Is it possible to win her back? It is possible, but I think your chances are very slim. You're going to have to play this perfectly. However, I think it would be in your best interest to move on, especially considering that you were her first boyfriend. It is inevitable that she would break up with you eventually, no matter what you did. She is going to want to see what else is out there, and you need to do the same. It sounds like you are both young (late teen's, early 20's?), and I can tell you that when you reach the mid 20's, your wants, beliefs, opinions, change from year to year. If you stay together with this girl, you'll only be holding each other back from reaching your full potential.

Solid Advice.

I will take a lot of it into consideration.

But you mentioned Limited Contact. I haven't talked to her in about a week, and was wondering when steps should be implemented?
Can you go more into detail about how to win her back? The reason being is what then? Explain how that would go about getting her back if I take these steps?

Hey Buddy Thanks for Sharing.... Your Advice are very useful to create a relations for long time.

Sorry, I meant Limited Adjusted Contact (LAC). LAC is what you use when you break up with her and then decide you want her back. However, by breaking up with her, then going into NC, you may have put the nail in the coffin already.

LAC is when you are actively trying to meet with her and get close with her, but within limits, HER limits. You have put her in a position of leverage, and she has rules and boundaries. You can contact her as much as she will allow you to without overstepping her boundaries. So, you're going to have to figure out what those boundaries are.

But, you're not going to be begging her to get back together. You are still taking the calm and casual approach that you would with NC. And displaying the traits of an attractive male that I mentioned earlier in the thread, every chance you get.

She has a wall up right now and she is not going to let you tear it down easily. You're going to have to work hard to soften her pride and get her to trust you again. You have to progress very slowly here.

To summarize:
- Contact her, but limited.
- Still try to meet with her
- When you do meet with her, be cool and casual.
- Don't talk about the relationship or anything emotional.
- Be fun.
- Take it slow
- Let her worry about where the relationship goes.

I appreciate all this info siddne6.

However, what are some examples of in person, text, phone conversations?
Any more critical details necessary?

You're over-thinking it, which means you are anxious. You can't be anxious, because she is going to pick up on, and it's going to cause you to break. Your mindset is the most crucial aspect here. If you have the wrong mindset, then you will fail. You need to stop thinking about getting her back and convince yourself that you don't need her back. It's counter-intuitive, but it's the only way you'll succeed.

Don't worry about what you should say, just worry about what you shouldn't say. As long as you don't bring up the relationship or support her emotionally, you should be OK. Talk to her like you would talk to a co-worker, just make small talk about whatever. But, be upbeat, positive, and funny! Don't be negative and complain about things, don't act depressed or miserable. Keep the conversations short, and be the one who ends them. And don't have any expectations.

Go back to where I listed the traits of an attractive man and an unattractive man. Write those down and read them over and over. Focus on adopting the traits of an attractive man, while ridding yourself of the unattractive traits.

It doesn't matter what you talk about, as long as you display the attractive traits during your interactions. Go back and read what I've already posted to TheGrimSweeper, because all of that still applies here.

If you're going to text/call her, then make sure you have something funny and light-hearted to say. I recommend getting a book on text/phone game. "The Txt Book," "B4 U TXT HER," and "The Ultimate Guide to Text and Phone Game" are all good ones.

So the ex is finally coming tomorrow to get her things back from my apartment.

Wow that was depressing packing those up.

I've been trying to be as upbeat, confident and in control of the situation as much as possible.

When she comesI was thinking of just saying "Are you sure this is what you want?" Then when she says yes, just say ok, kiss her on the forehead and tell her good luck with everything.

I'm not going to show any weakness, but I can feel myself starting to slip into a depression over this which is not good.

I wouldn't do that. Why ask her a question that you already know the answer to and don't like the answer to? And don't try to kiss her on the forehead, because if she isn't open to it, then you'll just feel more rejected. Put yourself in a position of strength, not of weakness.

Just give her things to her, wish her a good life, and that's it.

Holy Fack, Im in a much deeper/complicated position than people around here...
I have a son with my ex.

OK, so here's the story..
We dated for 5years, (he was born on the 4th), I left her on last December, lived my life 'alone' til June, then she started coming after me again, started sleeping here with my kiddo and stuff like that, tried to put our rings back in, asked to come back (i said nothing), so we were still single.
On August, she started this conversation where she said:
"You dont know what you want anymore, so we are single and im starting working at this place (blablabla)"
After this(august), I only got laid with HER 4 times 'til today, now she's stronger than me, cuz Im chasing her, I want her back, and I lost control, she's got plenty of friends now, and now she's all worried about her beauty and stuff like that.

Last Tuesday she asked to talk to me, we met, BUT, my talk was way too aggressive and I was trying to rule everything and make it my way(still trying to get her back), then she came up with "I was planning on getting back together but seems like you are way more aggressive and mean to people than before, when you change, come look for me(I THOUGHT WTF)", plus, she says she was only the one caring about the relationship..

So, here's the thing, she's now 'thinking' if she wants to get back together, but I stopped calling her and fighting for this relationship.

But I think I will always fail because I HAVE to call her house to talk to my kid or to make plans to go out with my kid and stuff.

WHAT SHOULD I DO? Just keep up this pace? Limited Contact?

it's hard to mask desperation.

sincerity is king.

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Yes, Limited Contact. You obviously can't go No Contact, since you have a kid with her. You never want to ignore her or treat her like she doesn't exist. You just have to talk to her as little as possible. Talk to her only when you have a valid reason to do so. Don't talk to her just to talk to her. When she initiates contact with you, let her lead the conversation. Be polite and upbeat toward her.

good tips
thanks for your sharing
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ok cool, what if she asks to talk to me and ask 'Do you still like me or being around me'? or things like ' are you with someone else?'
If I say I like, im off the game again, if I say I don't Im off the game aswell?! wtf

What if, what if, what if... You're going to drive yourself crazy thinking about what if all the time. Stop it!

She's not likely to ask you those questions, so I wouldn't worry about it. If she does ask, you don't have to answer. If she asks, respond with a question. "Why do you want to know that?" "Is that really something you want to be asking me?" etc.

Make her explain where she is going with those questions before you answer them.

Stop worrying so much and just be cool. The best way you can do that is to focus on really moving on.

Ok, after all, she came after me, after 1week n a half, asking if I still plan to get back together:
I said: "do you?"
she goes "yea'.
I said: 'so we are almost cool'.

But today I took my kid to her house, and noticed she's SAD, down, and kinda insecure about what ive been doing lately. Should I keep limited contact or start to push n pull her?
Another stupid question: Can I pusn n pull while limited contact?