No matter how HARD I TRY NO MATTER HOW MANY threads I read!!



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PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 10:34 pm 
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Back then I am super shy , didn't talk to anyone , and rarely even open my mouth to speak except to the teachers/etcs. Now that was a problem. So I heard of this PUA community and was excited. I tried it out for a week now and read countless numbers of threads. Then I thought It would be easy to be confident and break my shy-shell but I was wrong. First of high school was AWKWARD for me. I rarely talked. Second day, rarely even talk and even more un talkative then the first fucking day. I don't want to end up shy all my life so what's the best bet now?
>_< I read read read and even If I read read read It still occurs that I am still SHY and lacking confidence. FUCK to all newbies out there , this won't guarantee sucess if you are shy/super - shy.
Here are my clothing factors(Sometimes I initiate convos and some people don't talk to me that much and convo dies rather quickly- FUCK I don't even know how to make the conversation last and make the people give their opinion so I can fetch it back and forth- , I don't know but can clothing factors have anything to do?)
1.Wear BIG white shoes.
2.Heavy as fuck backpack that looks puffed up!
Am tired of this , please please help if you can!


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 11:16 pm 
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So you think that by reading this material and speaking to some people for one week will change you? Your work hasn't even started and you're complaining allready.
Persistance is something that's measured in years not weeks.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 11:35 pm 
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Im no pro...but perhaps some acting classes may help. Sounds like you need to be more at ease with yourself! The reason i say this is that in acting classes they get you to do some crazy classses and be something your not so it could be a good first step for you.
Also studies show that if you can raise your level of endorphins, you become more relaxed , like how you feel after laughter, or a run..... and many other things have a look into it!
I hope it helps.

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Aristotle: We are what we repeatedly do. Therefore excellence is not an act but a habbit


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 11:50 pm 
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Dude, relax! You're in high school. You can learn cocky/funny and reframing, but opinion openers aren't going to be effective. It's all about social circle game. Try out for a sports team, make new friends. Run for class officer positions. Be popular. Make good grades.

I promise you'll look back on high school and laugh about how stupid all of it is. Most of the popular kids end up being complete losers in real life, high school is their peak. Just make yourself stand out and try and get into a good college. Set yourself up for life.

You can PM me if you want more specific stuff, because I was once in your shoes.

Glade

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2011 12:36 am 
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Quote:
So you think that by reading this material and speaking to some people for one week will change you? Your work hasn't even started and you're complaining allready.
Persistance is something that's measured in years not weeks.
Yup.

Don't be so down on yourself. People won't like you if you're unhappy. Every time you see someone you know, say hi. Just "Hey [name]" or "Whats up?" as you pass them in the hall. When you're standing next to someone in the lunch line or something, strike up some "small talk" conversation. "The food today looks awful" "Oh yeah I guess" "Yeah. I guess it's not that bad though, at my old school it was way worse." and see if they want to continue talking from there.

When speaking with someone you're cordial with, really listen to what they have to say. People have this bad habit of hearing what someone is talking about, their new puppy, for example, thinking about the topic and trying to figure out a story they know that connects to it. Meanwhile, the person has been talking and you're only half listening, and by the time you tell your story, it doesn't quite fit the context, and feels a little awkward. Focus entirely on what they're saying. If you connect on a point, you can interject gently (if you're in a group, touch the speakers arm as you begin your piece, this will stop them and get the attention on you) If you don't have anything to say by the end, don't say anything except maybe to acknowledge that you were listening.

All of this comes with months of practice. Try to have a conversation with everyone you speak to. Cashiers at gas stations at night, for example, I've noticed are very talkative if you just say "Hey man, how's your night going?"

To echo Glade, I'm a senior in high school, message me if you need any specific advice.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2011 2:26 am 
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Men , I am going to revive this thread because I am really in need of help of something. Please please if you can help me. The thing I notice I seem to be struggling about and it brings my confidence down is VOICE - Control. I cannot cannot control my voice to be loud and clear. It fucking sucks because when I speak it's like soft...most of the time when I speak people reply with "What" or lean in to try to get an idea of what I'm saying. It FUCKING sucks. I need more voice control. To be able to speak low but the outcome of my voice being LOUD and CLEAR. I really need it :/ could you guys help me pleaseee?? I hate it when people ask me "WHAT" it makes me loses my confidence.. Please anyone know how to solve this!?


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2011 10:03 am 
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Then follow some speech courses. Read pages from books or magazines out loud and record it. Listen to it and then do it over again.
The fact you're near whispering has probably to do more with the fact you're shy than the mere fact you're voice isn't strong enough. Don't be a whimp and speak out loud.
Be clear, be articulate, speak slow and most important dare to pause when you do speak. Work your eyes. Emphasis comes not only by the way you speak but by the expressions on your face. If you want to learn some great skill in retorica listen to great speeches. Martin Luther King, Obama (he quite a phenomenon when it comes to speeching), fuck it even Bush Jr. after 9/11. Search youtube for some really wicked stuff and copy them.

Speaking is like riding a racetrack: it goes fast, slow, there are corners and sometimes it's time for a splash and dash. But it's never a calm creek.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2011 1:40 pm 
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Quote:
Men , I am going to revive this thread because I am really in need of help of something. Please please if you can help me. The thing I notice I seem to be struggling about and it brings my confidence down is VOICE - Control. I cannot cannot control my voice to be loud and clear. It fucking sucks because when I speak it's like soft...most of the time when I speak people reply with "What" or lean in to try to get an idea of what I'm saying. It FUCKING sucks. I need more voice control. To be able to speak low but the outcome of my voice being LOUD and CLEAR. I really need it :/ could you guys help me pleaseee?? I hate it when people ask me "WHAT" it makes me loses my confidence.. Please anyone know how to solve this!?
Before you go to a party or something, sometime you're alone, YELL. As loud as you can. Or sing-yell to music. It's harder to get that first blast out than you'd think, but once you get used to it, you're much more comfortable making noise.


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