Girl is coming over to mine tonight for movie date.



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 3:41 am 
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I've already made out with her, and we both like each other a fair bit.
I'm sensing we are going to continue dating, because we've been talking a fair bit and she's not worried about hinting out how interested she is (unlike my ex, who was soooo godamn cold. But that's not really relevant, sorry)

SO - I've met her twice, and we made out last time. This is the third time I'll be seeing her.

My question is - how should I behave in order to stop this from ending?
I really like her, so I'm tempted to completely be myself...except my true self has some AFC qualitites which I'm happy to "trim" for the "Greater Good" haha.
For example, If I had it my way I would talk to her once every day via meeting up or cell phone chat, regardless of how often she calls me first. I understand its important to restrict that so that she doesn't feel like she's completely "got me in the bag" at all times.

What else should I be aware of?
Just looking for some very general tips regarding "being available", be it regarding dates, kisses, whatever.
Feeling excited. Tonight should rock.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 5:16 am 
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Quote:
I've already made out with her, and we both like each other a fair bit.
I'm sensing we are going to continue dating, because we've been talking a fair bit and she's not worried about hinting out how interested she is (unlike my ex, who was soooo godamn cold. But that's not really relevant, sorry)

SO - I've met her twice, and we made out last time. This is the third time I'll be seeing her.

My question is - how should I behave in order to stop this from ending?
I really like her, so I'm tempted to completely be myself...except my true self has some AFC qualitites which I'm happy to "trim" for the "Greater Good" haha.
For example, If I had it my way I would talk to her once every day via meeting up or cell phone chat, regardless of how often she calls me first. I understand its important to restrict that so that she doesn't feel like she's completely "got me in the bag" at all times.

What else should I be aware of?
Just looking for some very general tips regarding "being available", be it regarding dates, kisses, whatever.
Feeling excited. Tonight should rock.
I think you can handle tonight on your own, just make sure you don't start thinking about what to say or what move to make. If that happens pay close attention to where her body is and what she's saying. Be completely in the moment.

"Power of Now" plug aside, I know exactly the kind of codependent relationship you're looking for, I love it (though ironically Tolle bashes it). I'd talk (texting to calling shift over about 2 weeks) to her every 3 or 4 days at first, moving more frequent gradually. Odds are she'll start texting you on days when you weren't planning to talk to her. DON'T ANSWER. Leave those days off, escalate your time-table at the pace you determined. You should be calling her every day once you're officially dating her (and I think one of you will want to make it official). The shift from excitement sexually to a relationship comes from the phone calls, and I think your phone game is probably good.

I think this'll work out for you, man.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 8:21 am 
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Do whatever you want.

Be whatever you are.

By this point, I don't need to tell you that if some limiting version of yourself is good at pick up, they you aren't.

Atleast, you will be yourself with her and won't always have that need to censure some of your qualities.

Women want men as they are, it's the men who try to be someone else most of the time. And that turns off most women.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 10:37 am 
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She's already coming over to your place. She knows what's up ;). Chill out, my friend, and make your moves casually!

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 10:39 am 
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"Movie night". She's not stupid. Don't push her but escalate. You're gonna f-close by the end of the night.

I love movie nights with girls eary on :)


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 3:25 am 
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Update + what I've learnt in the past week:
It was so good, she ended up sleeping over and it all happened.
For one of the first times ever, I had zero anxiety at all before the date, and during.
Escalating seemed really natural and easy.
She even asked me "So, are we official now?". I said something like "I'ts still early...but I think I like where we are going".

A previous post by me leading up to this date regarding "compliments" (which some of you helped out in) had all sorts of questions relevant to timing and types of compliments. I did give a variety of unique compliments and she said "You know exactly what to say all the time" so I think that also worked out well.

Another earlier post about this girl by me (which again, a number of you responded to) was about being called "cute", and how I disliked being viewed in this sort of way. My worries with this are gone now, and from now on I'll take cute as a compliment haha. I think it's possible to be cute, but also very sexual if you escalate in the right way and push boundaries which a number of guys may be too cautious to try, such as being sexually dominant and leading/guiding the girl into situations and positions. Never take "cute" as a ticket to the friendzone. I think with a lot of girls it means she just feels very comfortable with you as you are non-threatening, and that in itself has the enormous advantage with escalating. With trust you can obviously get away with a lot more! In a good way.

Very appreciative of all the advice and tips guys, everything seemed to run perfectly and with little confusion. Thanks so much.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 5:38 am 
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If you're 1 on 1 with a girl at your place, 9 times out of 10 it's on. I can only think of a handful of times in my life where this situation came up and nothing happened.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 6:33 am 
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Quote:
Update + what I've learnt in the past week:
It was so good, she ended up sleeping over and it all happened.
For one of the first times ever, I had zero anxiety at all before the date, and during.
Escalating seemed really natural and easy.
She even asked me "So, are we official now?". I said something like "I'ts still early...but I think I like where we are going".

A previous post by me leading up to this date regarding "compliments" (which some of you helped out in) had all sorts of questions relevant to timing and types of compliments. I did give a variety of unique compliments and she said "You know exactly what to say all the time" so I think that also worked out well.

Another earlier post about this girl by me (which again, a number of you responded to) was about being called "cute", and how I disliked being viewed in this sort of way. My worries with this are gone now, and from now on I'll take cute as a compliment haha. I think it's possible to be cute, but also very sexual if you escalate in the right way and push boundaries which a number of guys may be too cautious to try, such as being sexually dominant and leading/guiding the girl into situations and positions. Never take "cute" as a ticket to the friendzone. I think with a lot of girls it means she just feels very comfortable with you as you are non-threatening, and that in itself has the enormous advantage with escalating. With trust you can obviously get away with a lot more! In a good way.

Very appreciative of all the advice and tips guys, everything seemed to run perfectly and with little confusion. Thanks so much.
so u banged her the same night? man lucky bastard, i feel like such a virgin chump. Albeit witha dislocated spine and a torn shoulder so sex is not really a good idea for me right now..


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 10:43 am 
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Haha thanks man :)
I think escalation to sex is probably my strongest point after the initial make-out.


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