Friendzoned by Borderline Personality Disorder (cluster B)



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PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 11:06 am 
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I think I pretty much dated each disorder. BDP, attention whores, frustrated identity issues, manic depressions, social anxiety, ... ;)
Haha, amen brother! In my mind I even keep a checklist with the disorders that my exes have had xD.

Some of my past GF's didn't seem to have any issues though. Luckily my current GF seems fine aswell. :)
It's a keeper. Finding not so crazy women is my quest.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 11:47 am 
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Tip: stay away from the crazies. I've had my fair share of crazies. Their sex can be great though...
Oh man... the sex was gooooood..... I've been with about 10 girls since, and no one got close.

Girls with Disorders = best f buddies? I smell an ebook idea here.... can I copyright the idea?


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 12:07 pm 
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I want to say something else....

my ex really screwed me over. If I would tell you my story, you would think I made it up. It's fucked up beyond anything you can imagine. I have all the reasons to "hate that bitch" but the truth is that, more than anything, I feel sorry for her.

These people really are SICK. It IS a sickness. Like flu, like cancer, It's not their fault.... They lie and manipulate not only others but primarily themselves.

On top of that - it is very hard to face the fact that you have a mental problem because of all the associations involved with it. So then these people manipulate their own therapists to make it harder for them to get help and face reality.

It's just sad really, to get involved with someone like that. Learn the signs, stay away... but have sympathy for them.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 3:51 pm 
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Yea Draconis I read all of shari's stuff, just checking this irish guys stuff now, its pretty interesting man.

Phangan you should tell your story on here so that people can learn from your experience and learn to recognise signs of bpd, npd and the other disorders early on so they can avoid getting sucked into the void!

i'm gonna do a little write up of what to look out for, and some of my ex's specific behaviour that matches the traits of bpd, and the path the relationship took, red flags, abusive behaviour etc. i reckon people will find it interesting, plus its all good information.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 1:26 pm 
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LOL oh god, this post! I am currently seeing a girl who obviously has BPD. The way she acts is exactly how BPD is described. I've known her for years, and each time we've had a go....dated a bit...it's been a fucking nightmare! First time she lied about haivng a bf, then pulled away, making me think ''wtf?''.

I'm in a mess with her SPAM as well!

There MUST be a way to win people with BPD over though. Considering they ''NEED'' attention, there MUST be a way to turn it around on them, and make them want you more instead?

That is what I've been pondering. Each time In the past I've escaped, and she has been very uspet when I have done, so I'm wonderign whether playing tug and pull with her will work. Give her something that no one else will...then pull back, don't give it etc.

They are impossible to understand. Impossible. I wasted huge amounts of time trying to understand this one girl, now I'm sure she has BPD and probably autistic. But I feel slightly more sane as in, I know she has issues and it isn't me with them. I know shes lying about having a boyfriend again to me lol, I'm just playing along. She isn't purposefuly playing games, she can't help it...but the only way is to play it as a game back at her!

I feel sorry for her, although I know that is what she wants!


Last edited by jwmagic on Fri Jun 01, 2012 1:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 1:31 pm 
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Hey guys.

Long story short; a BPD didn't talk to me because she got all the attention she craved and completely devalued me. Now she wants me back to string me a long for attention (which I cannot ignore otherwise she will ignore me completely and get her attention fix of her boyfriend).

What do I need to do? I'm thinking of... umm. Maybe give her good/negative attention @ 50/50 (good shes hooked; negetive shes devalued). Like at the same time (your looking good tonight but your acting like a complete fucking retard).

She is making me a co-dependent friendzoned guy; because well BPD they have many male friends and LOTS friendzoned guys for backup (but they cheat like mental). Anyway look it up if you don't know. I'm so confused; BPD is so hard. We are ex's (6months; her new BF is 1month). I honestly just want sex @ a party with her that i'm going to.

Any advice? Thanks guys
You're the crazy one for wanting somebody with BPD in your life. I know therapists who would prefer working with psychopaths over somebody with BPD. You do realize one moment you'll be their best friend only to be their worst enemy the next. Why you'd want that in your life is beyond rational explanation. If she's a 'cutter' even more fun!


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 1:36 pm 
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LOL oh god, this post! I am currently seeing a girl who obviously has BPD. The way she acts is exactly how BPD is described. I've known her for years, and each time we've had a go....dated a bit...it's been a fucking nightmare! First time she lied about haivng a bf, then pulled away, making me think ''wtf?''.

I'm in a mess with her SPAM as well!

There MUST be a way to win people with BPD over though
. Considering they ''NEED'' attention, there MUST be a way to turn it around on them, and make them want you more instead?

That is what I've been pondering. Each time In the past I've escaped, and she has been very uspet when I have done, so I'm wonderign whether playing tug and pull with her will work. Give her something that no one else will...then pull back, don't give it etc.

They are impossible to understand. Impossible. I wasted huge amounts of time trying to understand this one girl, now I'm sure she has BPD and probably autistic. But I feel slightly more sane as in, I know shes mental, I know shes lying about having a boyfriend again to me lol, I'm just playing along. She isn't purposefuly playing games, she can't help it...but the only way is to play it as a game back at her!
To think you can win someone over with BPD only shows you don't understand the disorder. Somebody with NPD you can 'win over' if you merely reflect to them what they want to see within themselves (appeal to their own vanity), but with BPD (the most difficult PD in the book) you're only kidding yourself.

I am a counseling psychologist in training, and I can tell you that the majority of my instructors who have been in the field for years absolutely DREAD working with BPD clients - it is the most difficult PDs to work with why you'd want to be with a BPD client is odd UNLESS you have a personality disorder yourself.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 3:39 pm 
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LOL oh god, this post! I am currently seeing a girl who obviously has BPD. The way she acts is exactly how BPD is described. I've known her for years, and each time we've had a go....dated a bit...it's been a fucking nightmare! First time she lied about haivng a bf, then pulled away, making me think ''wtf?''.

I'm in a mess with her SPAM as well!

There MUST be a way to win people with BPD over though
. Considering they ''NEED'' attention, there MUST be a way to turn it around on them, and make them want you more instead?

That is what I've been pondering. Each time In the past I've escaped, and she has been very uspet when I have done, so I'm wonderign whether playing tug and pull with her will work. Give her something that no one else will...then pull back, don't give it etc.

They are impossible to understand. Impossible. I wasted huge amounts of time trying to understand this one girl, now I'm sure she has BPD and probably autistic. But I feel slightly more sane as in, I know shes mental, I know shes lying about having a boyfriend again to me lol, I'm just playing along. She isn't purposefuly playing games, she can't help it...but the only way is to play it as a game back at her!
To think you can win someone over with BPD only shows you don't understand the disorder. Somebody with NPD you can 'win over' if you merely reflect to them what they want to see within themselves (appeal to their own vanity), but with BPD (the most difficult PD in the book) you're only kidding yourself.

I am a counseling psychologist in training, and I can tell you that the majority of my instructors who have been in the field for years absolutely DREAD working with BPD clients - it is the most difficult PDs to work with why you'd want to be with a BPD client is odd UNLESS you have a personality disorder yourself.
I absolutely agree with this post. I was only with my BPDex 8 or 9 months and, if it wasn't for the fact that I'm quite emotionally strong, I think I'd have been on anti-depressants or hanging from a rope by my neck because of the nightmare she put me through.

I'm glad I got out early enough, even though I should have took serious notice of the red flags before I met her, but I just didn't know anything about personality disorders at the time, and nor did I understand how much damage she could inflict upon me.

You're right about BPD being the most resistant of PD's for therapists to treat, and I pity anyone who falls into the web of the BPD.

These energy vampires really do steal a piece of your soul, and I'd advise anyone to avoid them like the plague, no matter how hot they are and their sex is.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 5:09 pm 
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Those with BPD and NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) are generally drawn to each other becaues the BPD will appeal to the NPD's vanity to keep them from leaving, its a match made in 'heaven'.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 7:12 pm 
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My ex had the same condition.

I have nothing to add to what has already been said: STAY AWAY.

Or at least, don't by any means fall in love with BPD-nutcase.

Getting laid with them is easy. You take away a little bit of attention and they got even crazier than they already are.

At the party, give her attention and then take it away. You won't believe how that will fuck her up.

And the next time you give her attention after that, will be your seduction phase.

So attention > take away attention > give attention, but this time seduce her.

Easy.

They are very special those girls :)

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