First off, Let me introduce myself, My name is Toby and I am An Average Frustrated Chump. But fear not i am willing.. NO. I am fully committed to changing my ways and improving my life for the better.
My
ultimate aim is to be a natural and not have to rely on any routines, but i believe PU gives you the structure initially. “There’s more than one way to skin a cat” i couldn’t think of a more adept way of putting it. The ultimate aim is to be a natural but i can go down the route of being a PUA to achieve this.
My long term aim is to have fulfilling LTRs or lays, whichever I choose. That is the point I WANT to be able to choose. I love women and would eventually like to settle down, married with 2.5 kids haha the lot. But that’s much later in life.
My background you ask? I am 19 at the time of writing this and i live in the south of England, though i wasn’t born here. I always felt coming from another country set me back a couple years behind other kids. I remember i used to have so much fun and was extrovert prior to the move. But then we moved over to England (around 2000) as part of my mum’s job, I became quiet and reserved which is understandable, but i became the kid that clutched onto his mums legs at parties and i didn’t want to stick out from the crowd in any way. Over the years i kind of pushed a little out of my comfort zone, i made a few awesome friends, albeit kind of geeky ones, at secondary school.
*It didn’t help that i went to an all boys school. Girls were allowed at sixth form. I always figured not to pressure myself, that i’d get good with girls in my own time.
I should mention at this point i had a cyber relationship with a girl at the neighbouring girls school for a couple years. She was a HB6, had a banging body though (like a model, daymm). We used to exchange flirty... well dirty texts, which was awesome, we would meet occasionally face to face, but i was to pussy to make any physical move. We went to cinemas, chilled but i was so nervous i didn’t want to screw anything up so we ended up not really having any fun. But anyway she stuck around i guess she really liked me (it ended when i kinda called her a slut haha.. but were good now). I guess you could call her my oneitis. I’ve always had female friends. Its just that my approach to girls since i hit puberty was to stay at a distance just looking “cool”. I never approached, i was too pussy. I thought all i had to do was look cool and be aloof, i was too terrified inside to talk.
But anyway, time flew. At sixth form i made a few good female friends, then the time came for uni. I missed out on the course i wanted to do so i thought “take a gap year and reapply”. It was during this gap year that i realised i was an AFC!! Not only that, but throughout school i had been cripplingly shy, only made a few friends ( i had put this down to being from another country, i didn’t want to stick out but i had a semi-thick accent so i never used to speak much. Initially i didn’t care, but i started getting teased a little (not anything serious because i always knew the biggest/most popular kids, they took to me and had my back. But to stay below the parapet i didn’t used to talk that much. Anyway i got myself a little crew at school and was exposed to girls through friends in this crew etc..). On a gap year when you aren’t doing ANYTHING productive for 6 months, you start realising how important friends are. I made a few attempts to reach out and make some new friends but ultimately the year just clogged down till it was time for uni.
Before Uni, i had convinced myself it was time for a change, i was a psyched and determined i would make a lot of friends and have a great time. I bought a new wardrobe, swagged out. Was feeling great. Freshers week was amazing, discovered alcohol, which almost got me my first lay during freshers. So close but i was an afc didn’t realise how to read girls signal.
Dancing with her for like 30 mins, grinding, kino-ing (arms n face), great ec. Then suddenly
Me: I think you;re too drunk, ill get you some water
HB: Im alright.. blah blah..
Me: You should go home ( i know! cringe worthy)
HB: come on, lets dance for 10 more minutes.. then YOU can take me home
:O could it be?! ..
Lol but of course i was an AFC back then n i just didn’t understand the signals. Lol i ended up sitting her down on a couch and going to get one of the guides to see “if they could help her get home safely”
Somebody slap me now please, my dick still hasn’t forgiven me. Haha
But anyway the year kind of petered out, and i reverted back to my AFC ways. This was until towards the end of year blowout. You know that period when you’ve finished your exams, but you’ve still got about 2 weeks left of your lease?
It was then i stumbled across PU. Just videos on youtube (i started with a series by the winggirls haha, then graduated to David Wygant, gambler, KTTVIP). I put it into practice in field over the next couple of weeks and got number closes and the occasional K-close. But they flaked, looking back on it i probably could have f-closed the girls but i kept reverting back to AFC mode during conversations.
(I should mention i have an awesome, albeit smallcrew of close friends at uni, one who always has girls coming and going from the flat. I too had girls over regularly, mostly friends though but everyone just assumed i was getting laid an appropriate amount of times haha. If only that were true!)
So now we’re at the present, summer holidays. I decided this years summer holidays are going to be productive as a motherf*cker haha. Driving lessons, looking for a job and i got a holiday booked for later on and of course being on the way to master PU. so roll on this summer.
The purpose of this journal is to keep a record, to remind me that i have tried and for self improvement (i have heard keeping a record of things helps improve inner game as you can see how far you’ve come, which serves as encouragement and also allows deep reflection). It would be great if this journal could encourage anybody to improve their life for the better. Purpose of this journal is also to introduce myself, and hopefully you guys can encourage me/ give me tips/ criticize me... haha. Tough love right?
Anyway i believe PU is a gateway to becoming more confident and from there, being the man i always wanted to be.
I never again want to be the guy, which i currently am, who’s terrified of failing so he never tries, just assumes he will get better out of dumb luck.
I want to be... NO. I will be the man who takes what the fuck he wants and the man who isn’t afraid to try, maybe I’ll fail sometimes but with my head held high I’ll be able to say “hey, I tried my hardest it just wasn’t meant to be”.
And obviously, there’s a little bit of me who would like to see the expression an my friends faces as i pick up hot chicks all day everyday

! But first and foremost i am doing this for me. AFC no more!!!.. well that’s the goal.