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I wanted to speak on this earlier but decided to hold back, but your post really hit a nerve and I think it needs to be brought up.
"How hot do girls who you think you can get need to be, for you to feel like you're being true to yourself?"
That's a mouthful, so read it back more slowly if you have to. Hell it was hard for me to keep up with writing it, and I know the idea this is about.
Okay, when I first hit the clubs at 22-23, I felt I was fucking myself over and kicking myself in the teeth for NOT approaching any magazine-cover-looking girl I saw.
"This is what I deserve" I thought to myself.
I'll admit, even within the past year, talking to, and making fairly good progress with girls who were more "plain Janes" or nothing extraordinary, I felt BAD, deep to the core, like I wasn't fulfilling my true potential, and that I deserve a cover model, that's who I am, that's me, I know how cool and smart I am, I deserve a really pretty girl!"
I got with a thicker girl, who was still cute and had a pretty cool personality, and those feelings were compounded.
Is it social conditioning that teaches us this is what we deserve?
You turn on the TV and see a commercial for a blender, where a 6' 4" cool GQ dude is walking through a mall with a runway model on his arm, and they stop at this little store and talk to the sales girl about how cool this blender is, etc. etc.
And it makes you think, "Well fuck, this is normal! Yeah, those are average people out there, this is what I should be able to get! Fuck!!!!"
See a recent post of mine where I raised the issue of "is this settling?" with a girl I was dating.
So the question then, is, "How hot do you deserve?" / "How hot do you need to stick with to feel you're being true to yourself as a human being?"
I'll be the first to say, I really don't know the answer to that.
Commenters to my post said stuff along the lines of "If you like her, she likes you etc. you'll find that the term 'settling' is replaced by 'happily-ever-after'"
Well, yeah, and that can be taken to the extreme. You can dismiss all norms, etc. and get into an exclusive relationship with a 300 pound, morbidly obese girl, who you might fall in love with.
That can happen, yes, but I probably wouldn't.
I think this issue of "how low do you go" is really more a thing that each guy is going to have to figure out on his own. Sooner or later you're gonna stop having one night stands from bars, and you'll get into an LTR which may or may not lead to marriage.
By then, will she be a cover-model? Would you be cool if she wasn't?
That's all I can really add right now; feel free to let me know your thoughts. This issue of "settling" is PARAMOUNT, and not often discussed in the community.
Sorry i dont get how my post go against what you say. If oneself has to find wich is the kind of woman he would have a LTR. Then my view is as valid as anyone for what i understood.
for me it would bother me, but again that just me (is a pride thing, more than anything else).