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You're using it as an EXCUSE to start a conversation. Guys get into the habit of doing this to PROTECT THEIR EGO. By using an indirect opener, you shield yourself from the possibility of rejection, because you're LYING to her and PRETENDING you're not hitting on her. And you continue this charade until you receive enough IOIs to DEFINITELY KNOW FOR SURE you won't get rejected when you finally man up enough to actually convey interest.
Who me? Newbies? Mystery himself? Are you sure you're not talking about ONLY YOUR personal experience? I guess it's labeled "indirect" but it's only a charade if you make it a charade. Again, anybody who understands effective communications ought to understand the value in THIS:
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What would you rather have?
1. A guy who tells you that he's "your best buddy" all the time or a guy who shows up when you need to move your apartment and helps you out?
2. A girl who tells you that she's interested in you or a girl who shuts up and sticks her tongue down your throat?
3. A facebook "happy birthday" or a girl who takes time to back you a batch of cookies?
4. A girl who texts you "You're cool" or one who comes over and takes interest in your hobby?
^ This is just a more effective way to communicate. It's a better way to convey your message and influence other people's emotions and behavior.
1. I'm talking about my experience, the experience of a lot of students of MM3, most newbies, and probably Mystery himself. I can't possibly speak for you. And I know some things about "effective communication," and some of those things include SAY WHAT YOU MEAN CLEARLY and DON'T LIE. If you can open situationally, then by all means do it. But anything including routines, opinion openers and stuff that is made up for the purposes of innocently starting an interaction, to me, is PHONY, FAKE and completely unnecessary.
2. What you've described below simply seems to be the difference between SAYING something and ACTING ACCORDINGLY. Of course, the person who simply SAYS they're your friend, but doesn't act accordingly, is LYING. You have not provided an argument for why simply ACTING ACCORDINGLY without STATING your intent is any better than initially STATING your intent and then ACTING ACCORDINGLY.
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Being DIRECT may be cheap, low level, low energy, low effort, and lacking in creativity, thought or interest, but one thing it's definitely NOT is a LIE.
Come on . . . if it's all of those things and you still go out there and blurt out "I think you're cute, etc . . " - This is the biggest lie in the World. She's SOOOO cute and you're soooo in to her that you have no energy, will take no effort, thought, or interest to say ANYTHING that pertains to her and her life? Instead, you'll pull the only fucking one liner you have in your memory bank? You teach this?
Why should I show so much effort, energy and thought for a girl I have absolutely no idea about? I'm delivering the compliment because it's how I really feel at the time, regardless of what she thinks of it, without wanting or needing any kind of response. If she appreciates the compliment and is single and interested, then I will take things further and, of course, find out about her and have a getting to know each other period of a date or two before we have sex.
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HOWEVER, not all situations lend themselves to this scenario. The question is therefore - if my ONLY legitimate reason for engaging her in conversation is because she's attractive and I want to get to know her, then ANYTHING OTHER than opening based on that premise IS INDEED A LIE.
Is you're dad the district attorney? LOL . . . So . . are you saying that an insurance salesman should tell his clients that they better buy the more expensive package so he can keep up with his mortgage payments and pay for his daughter's braces? If he doesn't . . . well he's a LIAR right? Are you telling me that you cannot imagine a better sales strategy that offers clients more VALUE, HAPPINESS, and SATISFACTION?
Come on . . I can't believe I'm even engaging you with this silly topic. You're pulling shit out of the sky just to stubbornly continue on your 'direct is best' war path. And again, there's a time and place for the direct thing but to shoot down other methods due to your own short comings is immature and silly.
1. First off, PU is similar to sales, but it ISN'T sales
pu-and-sales-vt83440.html?highlight=sales I'm not for a second saying that the salesman has to tell you his life story. NOT LYING is not the same as TELLING EVERY SINGLE BIT OF THE TRUTH. To me, opening with an indirect opinion opener is the equivalent of a salesperson calling someone up PRETENDING to be doing a census until they can get enough info and gauge the person's interest, before calling back another time to make a sale. Going direct is simply saying "Hi, I'm _____ from XYZ industries, providers of ABC services and products. I'd like to talk to you about this service which I believe could help increase efficiency for your business and help you increase profits." It's just stating the intent of your interaction from the start, that's all!
2. I'm supporting direct not because of some agenda, and not with random ad hoc bullshit I pick out of thin air. I'm supporting it because becoming direct in my interactions has radically transformed my dating life to the point where I have multiple long term relationships and tons of dates all the time, and has helped hundreds of students become more confident in their lives as a whole and take control and finally have choice when it comes to women. We had a student who was so bad we called him "super AA guy."
http://www.sashapua.com/blog/sasha-dayg ... a-guy.html He literally was so shit scared of normal social interaction he couldn't even give out candy to a GUY he didn't know! In just a week, he is now completely cured of his social anxiety, has about 3/4 dates a WEEK, and was over at our place LAUGHING at a puatraining manual we had lying around with some indirect openers written in it! He's just the most recent and striking example of the fact that direct WORKS.
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Furthermore, I believe that doing so in a forthright manner, far from conveying a lack of interest, originality, or effort, is actually welcomed by women as a sign of supreme confidence, and something that they do not hear every day.
Typically, I'd say that very few girls hear anything worthwhile . . . so it's just a choice for them . . .
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Even whilst being "rejected" by women I approach in this manner, they often compliment me on my directness, COMPLAINING that they too often are approached by men who are too indirect, apologising for having a boyfriend otherwise they would date me, and telling me they wish more guys were as confident and honest as I am.
If your goal is to hear compliments and complaints about other dudes, I guess you're doing well here. There are a thousand different ways to convey your message and there are a thousand different ways to interpret the message from others.
It's not my end goal. However, it is certainly a benchmark of an effective approach that women who cannot date you for whatever reason are still incredibly flattered, happy and complimentary to you regarding your interaction with them.
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I just think the best way to begin the interaction is with clear, honest, direct INTENT, and I've found that everything naturally flows a hell of a lot more naturally once I do that.
I agree . . . it's just that there are so many different ways to do this.
You're right. There are tons of ways of getting from A to B. My premise is that there is a way to get there that is simple, straighforward, honest, authentic, direct, and wastes as LITTLE time as possible battling roadblocks along the way. If you want to get to B by going via C and D, go for it, maybe it's more interesting. I'd prefer, however, to go straight to B and save money, time and effort, and so do most guys who try it!