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Over and over I keep hearing about how people "perfectly stack routines" and stick to the game plan at a club - but yet, can't seem to close or hook a set properly.
I heard this so many times it pissed me off at last. I thought to myself - how come people can't figure this out? it's so obvious!!
Then, one day, it ocurred to me.... I used to be the same.
I remember back in the days, where I would write down 2-3 pages worth of routines and conversational topics.
I remember going out and doing the same routines and stacks over and over.
I remember mastering them.
I remember, despite the perfect words I used, that I failed over and over again.
Fuck this shit, I thought. Fuck the community.
Then one day, my game revolutionized. My success with women SKYROCKETED so much I thought I was dreaming.
It took me some time to figure out WHY it got so much better, out of nowhere. I mean, I barely even remembered my routines anymore. Things were just... clicking.
A few weeks later, it hit me. I knew exactly why I started getting successful, even though my routines were shaky and I didn't always know what to say.
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Most of you have heard that inner game is the key to outer game. And outer game is the key to success.
Yes, sure, this is true. But how do you get this inner game? How do you get confidence that lights up the club when you enter?
Like I mentioned earlier, I started getting successful the moment I stopped giving a shit about the community. No more theory learning, no more DVD's, no more YouTube clips and so on.
The moment I quit caring is the moment I went out with friends to have fun. I didn't care about "sarging" anymore. I cared about having fun. I had fun doing my own things with the guys, such as drinking games, story telling and so on. Sort of reminds me of camp fires.
Point is, as I learned to have fun - I got more comfortable with myself because I realized: Nobody here gives a fuck. Nobody's staring. Everybody's having a great time. Who are they to judge me for having fun?
The definition for confidence is: Being comfortable with yourself.
I quit giving a shit about people, I quit giving a shit about how I was viewed by others and I quit giving a shit about when I was doing something right or wrong.
The results?
I didn't even notice when my own confidence struck me as lightning. I was so busy having fun and enjoying myself, that I didn't even notice my confidence growing more and more, week after week.
All of a sudden, chicks would approach us at the tables and strike conversations. Since I was so comfortable with the situation I was in and with who I was - I surprised myself as fuck when I noticed my game was flowing. I made the chicks laugh, I made the guys laugh, the chicks would cling on me and everybody just loved me. And listen - I used to be the guy that nobody wanted to be around. I was... "THAT guy...". The one nobody talked to. The one nobody liked.
One night, I got my first make-out ever... I started rewinding that night in my head over and over, trying to figure out what I was doing right. I couldn't stop smiling when looking myself in the mirror from that day on. Sure, the chick I hooked up with bit my lips so hard they were sore and bleeding for about a week (for real) - but I didn't care. She made my night, and it was lovely.
After that night, my game started growing exponentially. My first make-out granted me a HUGE ego boost. I was even more comfortable with myself (confident). I wasn't even using routines or "game plans" at this point. It was all just... flowing.
Now I'm not saying that my rejections were eliminated after some time. They weren't. I've gotten rejected so many times my head will explode if I start counting. Point is - I was better. Much, much better. And I knew that if I put in additional effort - I would become even better.
My life started blossoming because of how proud I was over myself.
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So, to re-cap from all of this:
*You gotta quit being "in your head" so much. Who gives a shit if you say something wrong. Who the hell is there to tell you what words are "right" anyways? If you start thinking too much about what you're gonna do or say, TRUST ME - your body will show it and you will come off as extremely awkward.
*Learn how to have fun. You are NOT there to "sarge" or "get with women". You're there to have fun and do what YOU love doing (note: if you like doing some weird ass shit that pushed others away from you - stop it. There are better ways to enjoy yourself). Ultimatelly, you WILL get with the women.
But what I'm trying to say is: Don't make that your initial goal. Don't tell yourself - aight, i'm gonna hit the clubs today to get laid. Think like that, and your body language will reveal your agenda when talking to chicks. They notice stuff like that instantly. Even if you think they don't and you think you're being super cool. It's just ruining your game and gets you back in the process of "being in your head".
*Start having an "I don't give a shit" attitude. Look, you need to boost your ego a little bit. Things get so much easier when your attitude is: I don't need these people. What the fuck do they mean to me so far? Nothing. In fact, I AM the one having the most fun in this place. THEY want ME.
I know you will sound like a total douche like this. That's why you're gonna keep this in your HEAD only. Nobody can access your thoughts. And as you've learned, your inner self is what shows your outer self. If you have an "I don't give a shit" attitude, you will come off as a genuinely cool guy that's relaxed and knows how to have a good time without relying on other people. Your body language will show that automatically and people will pick up on that.
(However, you need to TRULY believe in this. Find ways of doing so. Don't try forcing your mind into believing in something you don't. "Fake it til you make it", in my experience, doesn't work.)
People will in fact love you - but only if you learn how to love yourself.
I don't care where you come from or what kind of person you are. Learn how to love yourself, because after all - your whole game relies on that.
Love,
Panda.
Amen to that brother, I've also just recently discovered this, with my last time in the field
next-vt85320.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=15 and I can say, that since then, I've seen and did a few things, that got me into 'state'
Googd post man
CHAT
