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But now that I saw her the 2nd time I didn't find her attractive and felt a bit emberassed to be seen with her.?
find out about her as much as you can. make a list of qualities you are looking for in a perfect girl: looks, humor, honesty, opennes, etc. and rate her from zero to five on each. this girl, just give her like a one or a zero in the looks scale, but investigate the other areas. Look for things you can enjoy about her. give her a chance, and then if you still dont like her, well hey, you just got to know another woman, and that is one step closer to your goal - understanding women in general. nobody says you should date her or do anything physical. in fact even if she was attractive, you might not want to date the first woman that comes around, but shop around first before you settle for a gf. lonely people go around finding fault in others and dismissing women becaue they are not good looking or for some other reason. instead focus on what you enjoy about this woman. but dont feel guilty like you have to pretend you like her - she wont appreciate fakeness.
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youre afraid people will talk about you behind your back about her,
i have several friends who have fat gf's and nobody talks about them. my teenage cousin rolled his eyes about his gf and said omg i cant believe he is dating her, but he does not care. people dont care about you as much as you wish they did, they dont care who you are dating, sorry, people are too self centered to care. i personally dont care how gf looks, although i think you prob care about how my gf looks, but of course you dont, that's just social anxiety making me think these distorted thoughts!