Hey guys, so I have a problem here. I met this great girl and we have been hanging out in groups and one on one. She has been texting me and flirting with me. The problem is that I cannot tell if she is just flirty and just wants to be friends or if she actually does have feelings for me. I really like hanging out with her but I feel like if I continue to hangout with her without making a move I will be stuck in the dreaded friend zone. I'm thinking of asking her out on a date so she knows what my intentions are. What you guys think I should do? I am sick of always being the friend. I want to make it obvious that I want more than another friend but without appearing strange or revealing too many of my feelings. Any advice? Thanks.

What works for me every time I am in that situation is to assume attraction, take control, escalate, and close.

Txt her "I'm picking you up for dinner at 9pm, wear something cute"

Then escalate during the whole date.

If she has a problem with any of it she will let you know but for some reason I never get arguments when I take this approach.

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You can't forget about me, stupid. Everywhere I go ima have my own theme music.

It's because you're not making any moves.

Do you seriously want to signal that you're not looking for friendship by VERBALIZING it? Man, grab those balls of yours real tight.

You've even had one on one's with her, correct? The only way you'll find out if she knows that you're interested - or for YOU to know if SHE's interested - is to actually DO something. Quit verbalizing things. Start touching and see how she responds.

Touch in a friendly way at first

*Hugs
*Handshakes
*Pat on the back

etc

Positive responses coming your way? Good.

*Walking arm in arm
*Caressing her hand, and receiving the same actions back
*Putting her leg over yours when you sit down

Still getting positive responses and no resistance?

*Go in for kiss
*Make out
*Foreplay

yadayadayada, you get the hint.

Point is, you can't sit around "wondering if she likes you or not" without doing something about it.

And for the record . . . if a woman keeps agreeing on meeting up and wants to see you. . . SHE LIKES YOU. Time for action!

Or, you could chicken out (like I assume you've done all the other times) and you will once again be "the friend". Is that what you want?

ACTION

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

Guys... This is not Dr Phil. I understand that everyone wants and needs help but most of the guys join the community because their hearts got broken or "there is this one girl". I have felt that way before and sure I will feel that way again but usually by the time they join i is too late. They have destroyed every chance they had. There is no such thing as this 1 girl. I can have any of the hottest, most intelligent and most fun girls I want and I have at least 2 of these a week. This is what these guys need to understand. And once you can do that then suddenly this one girl wants you and when you look at her you think, why did I ever value her so high, what did I see in her...

They need to learn to play the game and they will get that one girl if the still want this one girl. I know from experience. My oneitis, my daughter's mom wants me back and that shit will never happen. I still love her but hey. Guess what, ehen you can have any woman or all the women you want there is no such thing as this one girl...

I totally agree with you on this higher point. I would just add that it is much better in the long run to get the girl and then decide you didn't want her than to decide you don't want her and always wonder if you could have got her. You follow me on that?

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You can't forget about me, stupid. Everywhere I go ima have my own theme music.

Alright thanks, you are right, I'll start making moves. The only problem though is that she has a boyfriend which is why I have been hesitant in making moves. Although she told me things aren't that great with her boyfriend. I think I'll do it anyway though. Thanks again.