I'm writing this for the reason that literally all my friends are still believing that you gotta be a real douche to get with the girls. So I was thinking, if all my friends believe this - how the hell many forum guys will think so too? I sure as hell hope people are smarter than that.

So how do we define an asshole? I think we'll all agree that an asshole is a person/individual who is consistently insulting other people and/or hurting their feelings in a certain way.
We're talking about the kind of people that you just HATE. The kind of people you (hopefully) stay away from.

First important question is: Why . . . in God's name WHY . . . do people think that the asshole attitude is the way to go? Because, clearly, assholes are the kind of people we avoid, right? We're gonna go deeper besides the fact that people constantly see the douchebags get the girls and therefore want to copy their behavior in hope to achieve the same kind of success. Lame. . .

The assholes are the guys that posses a certain quality that is VERY attractive. Namely - confidence. They are SO confident in themselves and they are SO confident with the situation - that they don't give a shit about their surroundings and they can unapologetically say and do whatever the hell they want, without worrying about the consequences. Because in the end. . . the still got themselves.

Here's the part where people over and over FAIL to read between the lines. It is not the fact that those guys are "mean" to people, that people love them for. It's because they radiate an aura of confidence around them that says: "I'm comfortable with myself. I know what I want. I take what I want."

And what other kind of people are confident like that? Successful business men. Celebrities. Rock stars. Ari Gold (even I wanna bang that dude).

So whenever a normal individual shows that powerful quality, the people surrounding him will instantly trigger their love for celebrities, rock stars and etc to HIM. He may not be successful. He could be a nobody. But he still has that attractive quality that we are ALL drawn to.

Meaning what . . . ? Meaning we can be anybody we want, we can act however the hell we like - and if we CONFIDENTLY do the things we LOVE doing, people will stick to you just as flies stick to shit. True story.

And here's the ironic reality of it all: Learning pick-up is all about unlearning pick-up and going back to square one. Being yourself.

Panda.

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

Excellent post - much respect x

This is the lonely soul of the village.
This is the retarded lonely soul of the village. You've just described the village retard who hangs around the corner of the local 7/11 drinking his own urine all day long but thinks he's the president of the United States. It's incredible that the guys with ^mentality think that they are any different than the 7/11/ urine boy. Go ahead urine boy, I'll applaud you and flip you a nickel. 25 cents if you do that barking thing that grosses everybody out.
Not true. If you're not convinced, why don't you go visit your local prison and tell those guys to CONFIDENTLY do the things they love to do on you. Please share photos of you sticking to them like flies to shit.

Thanks.

kasabi just son'd yo ass !

I laugh at the people that SWEAR they know what they're talking about when they probably just stay home and read about the stuff but never go out and try it. This is why I love these forums, it's filled with funny ass people honestly.

I think alot of guys get fucked over by women by being too nice. So they turn into a bad guy towards women. It happened to me, I treated women like shit for a couple of months and they kept comming back. But don't worry, im not like that now.

I read something by Blondguy, atleast I think it was him. It went "don't be the bad guy and dont be the nice guy. Be the GOOD guy." That kind of stuck with me.

This.
If you're too nice you usually is like this because you have confidence issues, and you think you need to get approval.

Then when you become an asshole you start getting women because although you're a jerk, you finally started showing confidence. The girl mistakes you for a good confident guy.

In sum: be the good confident guy who doesn't abuse the woman, but respect yourself enough to have standards and boundaries.

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"Their compliance is,
'Does she grab your hand?' F*ck you! I want to grab her mind. If I can
grab her mind, she'll be grabbing whatever I want, any way I want her to." - Ross Jeffries

To be honest, I'm with Kasabi & Panda a bit. There is no need to be the asshole cause it will fail you anyway. You're not an asshole by character so it won't suit you at all either if you force that role upon. Second off, being an asshole doesn't get you anywhere.

I have defined 3 different categories lately; all are working through the "key element" of alpha/real guy.

Alpha categories;
1. Arrogance Alpha
This is the douchebag you are referring to as asshole. This is the guy that does his shit, he gets tons of ladies because he can do it. He doesn't give a damn but will eventually be the worst set loser that you can imagine. He will be surpassed by anyone with some self-esteem because his self-esteem and his ego won't be high enough anymore in the long run.

2. Show Alpha
You all got a friend, swell guy, friendly, fun to hang out with but he keeps himself in the background.. Until the party is somewhere. You see him transform in the party-animal, the center stager, the dancer, the one that steals te show. A typical thing is, these guys get the girls because they are self-secure. But they get them for a little while.. they won't get them for the entire night. Because - he is that friendly, swell guy that has a momental high value. He doesn't have that value the entire night.

3. Real Alpha/guy
This is the eventual guy that you want or need to be. This is the guy that is marked with self-esteem, nobody what he does. He does it his way, he does it without any doubt. He is much like the Arrogance Alpha - except he does actually care about other beings. Allthough he is dominant in the scene, doing what he pleases and being a social leader - he never lets his friends down and will do whatever to keep them up high.

This is MY view, there no reason to accept it as yours. But this is how I've come to terms with every social status in the "alpha" / real guy concept.[/b][/list]

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Kasabi,

On your first point: That is the description of an actual douchebag that people dislike. That is the kind of douchebag that is relevant to how people believe they should act.
There was a thread a long time ago by a guy describing how he's gonna be an ass to his date. He said he was literally going to spit in her mouth when he kissed her. I have no idea if he was just "trolling" or trying to be funny - but that guy seemed pretty damn serious.

On your second point: An exaggerated point made by me to show as a guideline the kind of mindset that is being possesed by the overconfident people. I still stick to this point. They know they can say and do anything they want, without worrying about the consequences. And you missed the point here: They CAN, but they don't. They just know they can. Huge difference.

On your third point: Let me clear things up here for you, because you clearly enjoy taking things to levels that are completely irrelevant to peoples' intended points . . . Relating the post to pickup (obviously the intention) - we can indeed be ourselves, and still be good. Joining the community will, depending on the individual, require certain changes in some areas of life (the person you WILL become). However, while practicing and becoming better, you can in fact be yourself - the confident self, and improve really well. Why? Mindset changes. You're not worried about whether or not you're impressing anyone. You don't posses the "pickup mindset" that is going to hinder your learning and slow you down.

Thanks for your reply, it's always a blast reading your metaphorical way of describing things.

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

Interesting post(s)

There are definately assholes that are pukes and that piss people off. The problem is they do sometimes bang some hot chicks and people see that and think it was their assholeness that got the girl. The real irony is the girl probably thinks he was an asshole too and either dumped his ass or is living a life of hell being tormented by him and is now crying her eyes out on the Oprah Windfrey show or Maury Povich.

But it probably wasn't the assholeness that attracted her, it was the fact that he was actually trying and was moving things forward and displaying masculine sexuality that attracted her and being an asshole was just part of the package that she puts up with.

The female counterpart is beautiful, whiney, controling bitch. The poor sap that is stuck with her hates her whining and bitching and controling just as much as the next guy but he puts up with it because she is hot. He wants a hot chick but doesn't have the confidence and skills to get a hot pleasant chick so he settles for a hot bitchy chick.

The same with women. Just because some gal is pretty doesn't mean that she doesn't have self-esteem issues or lacks social skills or is trying to make up for the fact that her drunken daddy abandoned the family when she was 3.

Chicks that put up with bad behaviour and abuse in men are damaged goods. The harm that this has caused to men in society is that it has created a race of castrated, feminized, asexual pussys.

These chicks go on Oprah and cry their eyes out about how bad men are and how bad men treat women and so a ton of decent guys have voluntarily pulled off their velcro balls and put them up on the shelf for fear of being thought of as an "asshole."

The assholes of world and the dysfunctional, damaged bitches that love them have created a society that fears men, fears masculinity and fears male sexuality.

A real man and true alpha male does not need to insult and belittle anyone, Quite the opposite, a real man and true alpha helps people become the best that they can be because he already has his own shit together.

I like this. In fact, some guys choose to be assholes just because they are so afraid of losing their balls and become too feminine. They want to be as manly as possible, and their fears drive them to act like assholes to others just so they can cover their own insecurities. They pretend so hard not to have a low self-esteem that they will do anything to protect that state.

It's really sad that it has to be this way.

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

Yup.

It's called hypermasculinity and it is an attempt at covering up deep-rooted insecurities and self-esteem issues. someone that is solid and secure in themselves does not need to act in way that is rude, offensive, mocking or belittling to others. some of these people are beyond assholes and are downright dangerous/criminal. deep seated insecurity, low self-esteem and feelings of inadaquacy and marginalized masculinity can be a dangerous combination in some people.

I get the whole confidence thing

but theirs defiantly a fine line about being too nice

Girls want you to be arrogant and an ass whole at times if it shows that you get what you want in life and aren't a pushover

Ive seen and heard many a time when a girl questions her friend about her boyfriend and why "she is with, such an ass whole" she usually replies " Hes like that in public but not with me"

They like the Idea that they can change you

This term is also loosely thrown around by girls all the time. If you ask them why they're not with their ex they generally say .... because he was an ass whole ( which is just a general term for i don't like him no more)

There's a difference between being a regular asshole (like the description given and/or similar) and an asshole in the way that you bust her balls.

That's the kind of "asshole" that I personally am and always have been. If you bust the chicks balls and don't take her seriously (in a funny way of course), she will be more interested in you.

It is just how you described with the girl that chose to stick around with her "asshole boyfriend". After they enter a relationship, he gets real with her - even though he's still an asshole in public and to everyone else. Makes her feel special in a way. And she should be

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

Let me tell you my story:

I was never bad with women too begin with, i was a born natural as i had a brother figure who was very successful with women. He taught me all the tricks of the game etc. I dated this girl when i was 14 or 15 that i had a complete 1-itis for. We dated for 3months and i did shit! She broke up with me as well as cheated on me. Her reason was that i wasn't adventurous enough.

So after that i transformed into a completely different person. More arrogant, not scared to push out of my boundaries that i comfortable with, be more open etc. It has honestly changed me and made me more successful with women.

I recommend reading Tucker Max posts/books if you want to find the type of asshole that is brutal to guys he doesn't know, successful with women in an intelligent way and cares about his friends(kinda) but in the end it is a really good read as well as it just shows you how you should live everyday, those windows of opportunity are only open for a limited time!

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"Some people are extra-ordinary because they put in the extra effort apart from the ordinary."

Why? Seriously, think "WHY" . . .
If they CAN and they don't, what is the difference between these guys and everybody else out there? Everybody knows that they can shoot themselves; most do not. Everybody knows that they can stick a broomstick up their ass; most do not. It seems you're beginning to figure this out but your stubborn need to stick to your screwed up initial post is f'ing you over.

People who are successful with women . . . there are things that they DO and things that they DO NOT. These decisions are usually NOT made without an acute awareness of his environment and responding to it. You are on a Pick Up forum and at the very least, you are an aspiring PUA . . . the idea is to be MORE socially aware and not less. The idea is to function harmoniously with others, not create barriers. I agree that it's easy for a newbie to see a guy who seems pretty good with women and think that he's got a "I don't give a fuck" attitude. (Perhaps that one particular guy does . . .) But usually, this is not the way it works.

Think of ANYTHING else that involves other people. Sports, music, work, school, ordering a freaking cup of coffee. What happens if a guy in a sports team doesn't give a fuck about others? What happens if a boxer doesn't give a fuck about his opponent and does not train accordingly to his opponent's strengths and weaknesses? What happens when the musician doesn't give a fuck about the members of his band?
I agree with this. However, for you to unlearn pick up, you ought to first learn pick up. Trying some shit out, getting bad results, then going the fuck it route, is not what ^this copy/pasted Taoist phrase is all about.