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because you're hesitating she is probably feeling it and backing off. If you dont sack up your gonna lose this forever.
Oh and about the bf, forget about him, if he was doing his job his lady wouldnt be imagining your first kiss
I keep getting mixed signals from her, I flirt with her and she flirts with me ALOT and asks me to come over and such, but whenever I actually do ask her when she's got the time, she starts talking about her bad situation at home or that she has to work that day or whatever, so it never actually happens, which is when I tend to back off a bit.
She always does this, she's really flirty and fun the one moment (And she always wants to turn the webcam on, and trust me that she's smiling ear-to-ear whenever she's talking to me, I had a female friend of mine sit next to me yesterday who was watching along and whenever I said something nice her face would lighten up like a match and my female friend would just grab my leg and say something like "HOW ON EARTH ARE YOU EVEN DOUBTING THIS?!?")
And then sometimes she just kinda turns it over and she starts this odd cycle of self loathing and telling me that she can't figure out how I'm even able to stand her, let alone speak to her.
I've forgotten about the bf, but she doesn't seem to have, yesterday she said we might be able to meet up this weekend unless things start going "a bit better" with her bf in which case she'd spend the weekend at his place, as usual, she was at home this weekend and said she wouldn't have been if not for the fact she was having a bit of an argument with her current guy. So I told her that if she'd rather spend time with her bf, then that's fine with me, but she'd have to stop asking me to come over whenever she sees fit, and that she's gonna have to free some time up if she wants to see me, cos I'm sure as hell not gonna break my schedule and such just to see her, if she's not willing to make the same kind of sacrifice.