Quote:
Hello Roz,
First, I want to thank you for the information. That helps me a great deal since I go to the gym frequently. Second, I would like a female perspective on an experience I had at the gym recently. I was working out and there was this super hot HB 9-10 that caught my attention, but I did not want to approach her as she was working out and with her friend. So I decided to just focus on my workout and not pay her any attention. As I was working out, she approached me and motioned for me to remove my headphones. She asked me what bodypart the machine I was using worked. Mind you, it was blatantly obvious that it worked the chest muscles since it was a bench press machine. I told her what it did and she thanked me for helping her. Then I continued with my workout and then left.
As I passed by, I could tell she was struggling with the machine and so I decided to give her some adivice and then conversed with her a little bit. However, I froze up and didn't ask for her number or even offer to help her with working out if she needed it. I wanted to kick myself for that missed opportunity. Freezing up seems to be a pattern with me. Everytime an extremely attractive woman approaches me, I always think to myself, "This is too good to be true." Is it possible that she asked me for help on how to use that machine to justify approaching me? Also, from a female point of view, what do you think I could have done differently?
Argh you don't need a female to give you an answer to this one - I flailed my arms in frustration when I read this - only because I've been through those situations and NEVER again - and I look back and see how plainly obvious it all was and I was just fighting my inner fear instead of doign what I wanted.
Of course she was hitting on you - you just answered your own question (it's plainly obvious what muscles the machine works) and the fact that you're still asking "Is it possible she was just asking" when you KNOW it's NOT possible, shows how much fear you've got to fight.
And the only way around this is to make cold approaches. Over and over and over again. And I'll tell you - I believe I'm in a really good level of ability now with making cold approaches, but still, more than half of the time, there will be moments, I won't be ready for it, and an amazing looking girl will arrive (attractive to me personally, not just "ideal") and I will get fear, and excuses not to do it, and the ONLY times things go well, is when I physically FORCE myself to say what I already know will work, from past experience, in spite of the fear I'm currently experiencing. The knowledge is there, but the fear is a habitual reaction formed in childhood, so it's always there. But it doesn't matter - when you know it works and you do it, and it works, the fear is pointless - just a hoop for you to jump over, every single time. Not a problem in the long run.
And this will happen to you too if you focus on it, where once a hot girl is talking to you, you have no choice but to switch into positive guy mode. Because you know that's what you must do. And that it's the only way forward, and that it works. Now the moment the pretty girl makes eye contact with me after I open, I get real positive & confident real quick, it's like a lightswitch. I've conditioned myself to feel good feelings about hot girls looking at me, and every time, I jump that first hurdle, but the results get better and better.
And she wasn't having problems with the machine either, that was all just a show for you.
Here's a tip - when you do ask for a number, you have to convey interest. If you don't, it wierds them out, and they may give it but not respond. when you don't convey interest at that point, either they think you're a player, or shy, depending on yout body language
You freeze up because you don't know what you're supposed to do to get the number, and I used to have the same problem. Here's a process for you to follow, without fear (once youv'e overcome your fear you can switch it up, but if you ahve something to follow first, it takes away the fear)
First, be mindful of the time that will mean it will be time to part soon, and very shortly before that, act like you're ready to go without seeing her again, but still very happy to have had talked to her (don't play it TOO cool, very easy to do, and very stupid)
Then when you ask for the number, don't just say "here, gimmie your number" like they say on the PUA videos, you really do have to justify why you're about to, by conveying interest (yes, this is appropriate and even very nessecary at the right moments!) You have to express that you think she's cool and that she left a good impression on you, and you're keen on chatting to her again. Once you have the right mindset, the words will come. For example, last number close (last night) I did say I had to go and said it was nice talking to you etc. Then I turned and pulled out my phone and said suddenly "I'm gonna get your number" with energy, and she said "Really??" like she was flattered, and I said "Yeah you seem really cool! And you like video games, and the might boosh" etc. and I made sure to throw in "I'm gonna call you" or somethng (can't remember exactly , but that's always a good sign you were in the moment, when you can't remember what you said)
And then 3rd step - think of an SMS to send them a bit later (maybe half an hour) to convince them youre not a player, and to keep the spark - some little joke about what you just talked about. In this case, I told her that I hope she's in on monday because I'm coming to get my sandwitch (she works at a sandwich shop and I epxressed a great intrest in healthy sandwitches) - she then said exactly what days she was workign so that I could do so
So just quickly
1. you want to convey that you're willing to go without getting her number (that lets her imagine how she's going to feel when you leave and she'll never see you again).
2. Then you quickly switch around and say she's really cool and this was awesome and you're going to get her number etc.
3. And then after you get it, so she doesn't feel like you just stole a number off her, so you send her a funny text shortly after.
Oh and ideally you want to set up some sort of a day 2 (no matter how silly or little) before the session ends, or with that final text. Otherwise you'll lose the spark by not appearing interested enough.
And this is not a straightjacket formula - just do your best to follow it when you're overcome by fear.
CHAT
or if they are hot 
.