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 Post subject: Life Question
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 4:44 pm 
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Hello

I have this question in, a life question actually.
I always try to be nice and helpful to everyone anytime and at the same time try to be happy and cheerful because I believe in karma.

At the same time I find that people take advantage of me, try to use me and then ignore me.
Or even see me as a doormat.

Obviously I'm doing something not right. But I have no clue what it actually is :?

So my question is, how does karma work, does it work and how does this apply to relationships with girls and people in general.

I find bitches to be heartless and cold a lot of the times to test you.

please, share your insights.

Thank you in advance

~Steke

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 6:43 pm 
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Believe in Karma if you want, but you know what you're doing wrong? You are being everything you just described. A doormat. People will take advantage of you and then ditch you; since you allow them to.

Quit trying to be nice to everyone. Generally, be a normal, kind person. But don't push yourself to be nice, because people will notice that and use it against you. You will believe you got friends, but in reality - they don't give a shit about you. Don't believe me? Try not contacting any of your "friends" for a week or two, and see if any of them will call you to hang out. Go ahead, try it.

In fact, the ones that will for sure call you may, in fact, be your friends. The others... are just using you.

Also, I hate to break it to you, but use what WORKS. I'm not saying "don't believe in Karma" (I personally believe in Karma too), but I'm just saying: Don't rely on it. Karma isn't gonna get you laid. Karma isn't gonna help you out when you need it. At least, don't expect it too or rely heavily on it.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 8:42 pm 
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well exactly how nice are you being? maybe give a few examples.

also is it affecting your game and if so, good or bad?

if its good for your game then youre with the wrong friends.

you can be really nice to people, you just got to make sure you have a barrier of what behaviours you will accept and what you wont and will ignore if done.

i know Tyler says it in foundations but its true, someone tries to be a dick or take advantage you ignore them and talk to someone else or just change the conversation and frame.

so they know you WILL be nice and kind but only on your level.

so i might bring my friend a drink when he's hungover in the morning and im not (i dont drink) but if he's like "oh fill it up again" or anything where i smell him trying to get me to be his 'bitch', ill just ignore, smirk and laugh at tiny bit or just start talking about last night maybe say "will you get me one too?" if he's persistant.

i find saying no is still falling into what guys want you to do, they want you to answer them and 'no' can come across as you being selfish and can be seen as stubborn but asking them to do it just shows what the question they asked really is

a male shit test. unless my friend is REALLY hungover haha, he always is.

guys shit test each other more than a girl will ever do, a shit test, TO ME, just seems like a dominating frame or test or whatever and who's more dominating that guys?

thats why guys bust balls all the time, its just to see how you react, not neccessarily because they dont like you or think theyre better than you.

remember this is all from my life experiences not FACT, so realise all of this comes mixed with many factors of my personality, body language, voice, hell even looks. feel free to call me wrong

and panda's post is good too :D

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 Post subject: Re: Life Question
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 10:21 pm 
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Quote:
I always try to be nice



I find bitches to be heartless and cold a lot of the times to test you.

please, share your insights.

Thank you in advance

~Steke
Edited to help make this clear.

Make sure you are being genuinly nice first, then when your kindness is a reflection of your actual values, you can then know where to draw the line.

(At least this is MY view of the situation.)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 4:34 pm 
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Karma is a concept that comes from Buddhism. Buddhists believe that each soul is reincarnated until nirvana is reached, at which point the soul is complete and transcends the reincarnation cycle. According to Buddhist teachings, karma is the idea that one's actions in a previous life determine what form the soul will be reincarnated into in the next life. For Buddhists, the soul can be reincarnated as almost any life form, with humans being at the top. But if you're particularly bad, you could be reincarnated as something like a dog or a flea.

Colloquially, the term karma is often used to express the idea that what comes around goes around--ie. if you treat someone like dirt and break her heart, someone will come along later on and do the same to you. I personally don't believe in this (I've seen way too many bitchy and nasty people that never seem to get their comeuppance, and I've also seen way too many nice people that the world just seems to use as a perpetual punching bag.) I do, however, firmly believe in being nice to others whenever possible. Niceness must be matched by boundaries--being nice doesn't mean that you should roll over and play dead in order to please other people.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 6:44 pm 
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Quote:
Karma is a concept that comes from Buddhism. Buddhists believe that each soul is reincarnated until nirvana is reached, at which point the soul is complete and transcends the reincarnation cycle. According to Buddhist teachings, karma is the idea that one's actions in a previous life determine what form the soul will be reincarnated into in the next life. For Buddhists, the soul can be reincarnated as almost any life form, with humans being at the top. But if you're particularly bad, you could be reincarnated as something like a dog or a flea.

Colloquially, the term karma is often used to express the idea that what comes around goes around--ie. if you treat someone like dirt and break her heart, someone will come along later on and do the same to you. I personally don't believe in this (I've seen way too many bitchy and nasty people that never seem to get their comeuppance, and I've also seen way too many nice people that the world just seems to use as a perpetual punching bag.) I do, however, firmly believe in being nice to others whenever possible. Niceness must be matched by boundaries--being nice doesn't mean that you should roll over and play dead in order to please other people.
Ah the geek in me is coming out now! Karma isn't a cocnept that comes from buddhism per say, (generally speaking buddhism is a radical off-shoot of Hinduism) and although within the theistic and hindu interpretations of Buddhism Karma usually is related to wether you enter the world of animals, the world of people a level of hell (Not entirely certain, but I think you may also be able to enter heaven via karma) this is not the only buddhist view on the subject.

In other doctrines of Buddhism, the law of Karma can reference to the idea of cause and effect. Which would be viewed not as an absolute law, but rather a principle to be mindful of.

OR

The notion that even insignificant actions will define you as a person and shape your behaviour. (Smile at the clerk at the counter while making friendly chit chat and you will condition yourself one small step closer to being a Happier/More Friendly person)

And that is something worth pondering on while we are on the topic of learning good behaviours for sarging.


Last edited by Fin on Sat Oct 23, 2010 8:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 8:27 pm 
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I think the best way to do this is that you should always be courteous, but not go out of your way to help people unless you know them fairly well and get along with them.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 12:18 am 
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Karma, like any concept, should not be taken to extremes.

Karma has its goods, but has its bads. The bad is that it doesn't always work.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 11:16 am 
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Hello

I believe this may have something to do with INNER PEACE.

Inner peace is when you have ballance in your life.
And you are happy with who you are. faults and all etc.

This is Priceless.

Unfortunately you only aquire this later in life.
When you finaly start liking yourself for who you are and what you stand for, instead of worrying how you look, what you are wearing or how people behave around you.

When you reach a point in your life when you are happy with the person you are, other peoples opinions or comments how ever nasty they are will not effect you.

Most people who appear on the outside to have it together who like making fun at other peoples expense usually have low self esteem.

There is nothing wrong with being a nice thoughtful person.
Dare i say it NICE GUY.
Or if you prefer GOOD GUY.

A word of warning.

The above statement is in no way designed to .

A make you feel better.
B. Or convey a sense of don't worry about this, your a great guy and the others are all jerks.

If a presedent has been set with your friends that its o.k. to piss / boss you about because you don't react.
Hey what do you exspect.
Once a doormat. Always a doormat.

A person who worries to much about am i being to nice, courteous etc does not have inner peace.

A person who is kind and considerate is a person worth knowing.
BY WHAT I HAVE SEEN IN LIFE, MORE MEN FALL INTO THIS CATERGORY THAN WOMEN.

And stop TRYING to do anything.

Just be you.

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