Messed up night... maybe... I think?



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PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 2:24 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2009 3:58 am
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I think you do have to apologize, since she's pissed, but if you tell her "no, no, i do care" that's lame
So started reading "Double Your Dating" finally. First couple chapters have already pointed out lots of mistakes I made, but also a couple things I did right. Probably more mistakes...

I think one of the bigger mistakes I made was in letting myself get upset, so maybe you're right that I should apologize to her. Only for getting upset though, and not handling the situation in a more appropriate manner.

As she's also a member of my meetup group, I kind of want to reassure her that she's still welcome to events I'll be setting up or attending.

The only thing is, how much does this violate doing a freezeout? I mean, I think she is pissed so maybe the apology would be necessary so she's less angry during the freezeout? Telling her she can come to a meetup also pretty much makes it clear the next move is hers. On the other hand, it's hardly a freezeout if I'm contacting her is it?


As an aside...

The funny thing is, DeAngelo says one thing I really should have done. That is, tell the woman something profound about herself. In this case she kept asking why I wouldn't be her friend, and I wanted to say "because if I accept your friendship I'll never get any further with you." I didn't because... I wasn't sure that was a good thing t osay or not. Now I'd reword that a little to be: "Because I know something about you that you'd never even admit to yourself. I know that deep down, you want me to be in control of the situation. If I accept your offer of friendship, I won't be in control, you won't be attracted to me... and I will still want to be with you. That's why it can't work."


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 02, 2010 5:12 pm 
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So I sent her the apology. Two days later I have a meetup scheduled (meetup.com is a website with social clubs, I run one and had an event set up for tonight.)

Today she emails me "I will acknowledge your email to me separately. Right now I'd like to talk Meetup member to organizer."

Then starts texting me (she was having trouble with email) trying to talk me into cancelling the meetup and setting up a happy hour instead.

I kind of feel like I should just say no (and so far I'm pretty much indicating I'm not sure about the idea) but at the same time no one's signed up for tonight anyway.

Maybe post both, and then just cancel the least popular one before it starts...?


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