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I think you do have to apologize, since she's pissed, but if you tell her "no, no, i do care" that's lame
So started reading "Double Your Dating" finally. First couple chapters have already pointed out lots of mistakes I made, but also a couple things I did right. Probably more mistakes...
I think one of the bigger mistakes I made was in letting myself get upset, so maybe you're right that I should apologize to her. Only for getting upset though, and not handling the situation in a more appropriate manner.
As she's also a member of my meetup group, I kind of want to reassure her that she's still welcome to events I'll be setting up or attending.
The only thing is, how much does this violate doing a freezeout? I mean, I think she is pissed so maybe the apology would be necessary so she's less angry during the freezeout? Telling her she can come to a meetup also pretty much makes it clear the next move is hers. On the other hand, it's hardly a freezeout if I'm contacting her is it?
As an aside...
The funny thing is, DeAngelo says one thing I really should have done. That is, tell the woman something profound about herself. In this case she kept asking why I wouldn't be her friend, and I wanted to say "because if I accept your friendship I'll never get any further with you." I didn't because... I wasn't sure that was a good thing t osay or not. Now I'd reword that a little to be: "Because I know something about you that you'd never even admit to yourself. I know that deep down, you want me to be in control of the situation. If I accept your offer of friendship, I won't be in control, you won't be attracted to me... and I will still want to be with you. That's why it can't work."