| Now you are talking about two different things.
This may seem like some shit that I just say to sound wise and crap but I truly believe it.
People try to hard in the same direction. They push and push and push! Forwards forwards forwards. That blinds them to the other solutions, maybe the path upwards isnt to climb the outside of the house, maybe you go down two floors and take the elevator.
I wrote a long post about the difference between a gentleman and a loser a while ago, cant remember the name...
Being a gentleman is not a bad thing. But it becomes bad if you do it because you cannot let it go, because you think that it is the only choice.
A loser behaves like a gentleman because he has no other choice. He has no way of attracting a woman so he seizes the only thing he can think of, giving her his power. Giving her stuff and generally making life good for her. He goes out of his way to help her and often at his own expense. He does this even though he hasnt recieved anything yet. He does it for the chance that she might eventually like him.
A true gentleman doesnt do it for these reasons. He has a choice. He has the power. He is the man. He is merely giving her permission to help herself to the power he isnt using for the moment. Not at his own expence, that is.
When did chivalry appear? In a time when all the power was held by men. Women were more or less worthless. She had to take whatever she could get. A gentleman was the best option. Luckily, we have left such times behind. Women are strong now, equal to men. (At least where I come from.)
The women of that time probably didnt feel attracted to the stableboy holding the door for her. She was attracted to the knight in shining armour sparing her a second glance. See, even in these times women didnt fall for losers just because they were gentlemen.
No matter what your mother told you. The rules she told you ONLY applies to high value men. If you are a low level man, no amount of chivalry will get you anywhere.
So the point is, first become the knight, then choose to be the gentleman.
Fair play... Yes, I am all for fair play. But thats because I am powerful enough to win anyway. Plus it gives me little satisfaction to cheat. But if I cannot win in another way, I sure will play foul. Luckily I very very rarely have to. This comes from gaining true power. Which you do by searching alternative ways of growing. You need to look even in the scariest places of your mind, where your most embarrasing parst are. Thats where you will find the door.
I too sought to be a master. Always did. This was my dream, I did affirmations, I practiced so much that I spent 5 of seven days a week in field. I used most of my time on studying pickup, I gained insane amounts of knowledge. Did that help me, yes, to a certain point. But something was still holding me back, myself. It wasnt until I stopped identifying myself with the ultimate PUA that I was set free. I freed my mind. I stopped caring about being a PUA. I am what I am. Before I would pride myself in calling myself a PUA, I wanted people to recognize my skills and shit. Now I dont care. Yes, I am a PUA, I have skill. But this is not how I see myself. I am me. As soon as I stopped defining myself after a flawed ideal, I could outgrow that ideal.
My PUA had become like your gentleman. Something you have to outgrow.
Now, When I no longer care about being a PUA, I can look at myself and say. Ok, I am doing things that a PUA does, I meet the description of a PUA. I must be a PUA. I accept that. But I dont try to be one, I could also be something else, I just choose to be one.
Just like you can choose to act like gentleman, when you have realized that you dont have to.
As for upbringing.
I spend the last two years unlearning what my mother had taught me. It was flawed, it was not for me. It didnt work for me. Then I started growing. I grew and I became powerful. Now I realize that my mother was right in many things. It all makes sense now. Her advice were sound. The only problem was that I wasnt ready. I wasnt strong enough to use it. The advice was given to the man she saw me as. A great man, a wonderful boy. And to her I was. You are to your mother as well, and to everybody who knows you. But people around us dont see it. Friends and family fail to see that we are weak. They give us advice based on us being in control, a real alpha male. Because in their world, only alpha males count. They give us advice that they would give alpha males in their world, as they would reshape them if they could. But they dont give us the power we need to use the advice.
Forget what you have been raised to believe and retake it when you are ready. This is the way that worked for me. I am not talking teenage revolt here. Simply, take the things that makes you feel safe and trash them. (Mental things that is.) Learn to feel safe without them, go darkside and go back to the light. Then reinstall those programs.
Your upbringing was meant to keep the beast within under control. Thats counterproductive if the beast is a little scared puppy.
Hope this helped...
Ezo
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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.
bbardot: you just reminded me about porn
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CHAT
