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You are soooo right! After we broke up, I discovered she had a whole different side to her. When we dated the first time, she had some morals. After we broke up, she turned into somewhat of a slut and would get drunk all the time. She only fucked 3 different guys while we were apart, but I seen pictures of her with a bunch of other guys. She is very insecure and has a low self-esteem, so my guess she went out seeking happiness from the validation of guys wanting her instead of her ugly friend.
Dude, I went through something very similar very recently with the same type of girl. Gonna go with the panel here in saying that there is absolutely, positively a better girl out there for you. A text message is harmless, but if she can't be honest with you about it, and you don't trust her about it, what does that say for a serious relationship?
Having been together for so long overall, I'm assuming that you two have a very strong emotional connection. My girl and I did, and there is still a physiological response in my body when I think about her. It was so strong that I was rationalizing away crazy things in order to think that we could stay together (even before we broke up). What has helped me is to raise my standards and stick by them. I choose who to love, and I won't choose to love someone who has been unfaithful or dishonest in the past, toward me or anyone else. There was a LOT of good in our relationship, and it's easy to think "Well, she was this and that, unlike most girls out there, and maybe we can work it out..." But every time that line of thinking comes up, I think STANDARDS. You get what you deserve, so even if what you had was mostly good, decide that you deserve better.
Specifically, my two cents are: find some way to break up with her without mentioning what you know, and just let it go without getting sucked into any arguing or passive-aggressive drama. Learn from the experience, and do better in the future. Welcome back to the game