After breakup, dealing with insecurity and neediness



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PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 5:31 pm 
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Does anyone have some good tips on getting over insecurity/neediness? I know this is a big question, but I would appreciate any help. It's been a tough time for me recently because I am getting over my ex-girlfriend whom i broke up with about 2 months ago. Breakups are tough and I have been doing a lot of soulseaching lately to figure out what went wrong and how I can improve for future relationships. I realized the biggest issues I had surround insecurity and neediness so I wanted to see if anyone could help. Thanks!

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 5:42 am 
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Your needy because you want that acceptance again from a woman. You need that love and that what makes you feel good about yourself. Your self-esteem rises. Now what pretty much has happened is that your ex girlfriend pretty much took away your self esteem and you are being NEEDY about it when trying to get other girls. You WANT that feeling back again because it felt so good. You need that love. Look, im not gonna beat around the bush saying all this pussy shit like "Its ok man your better than her" or some shit like "Her loss bro, not yours". FUCK THAT SHIT. Whatever you do dont give up. Go out with your friends have some fun and meet other women. Trust me when you start banging other chicks youll soon start forgetting about her.

Dont be like the guy from "Swingers". If it gets really bad see a therapist or best yet work on your inner game. The best description of what you are facing is described in Dr.Pauls MindOS. When, you read that youll know what went wrong in your relationship and how to fix it.

Peace


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 4:03 am 
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i am going through the same thing man its just oneitss and remember you dont miss her you miss a relationship,having pussy on standby,plus having someone.i say be happy being by yourself . remember relationships are add-ons to your real happiness they are not going to make you happy so find happiness as a single

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 5:33 am 
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went through the exact same shit two years ago (dated half a year, then i broke up with her)

and i just started talking to the girl again -_-



My advice, don't go on a 'revenge' trip. Don't forget her, she's an important person, its dumb to ignore her. Instead, understand that you both have to move on, and then start meeting more women, just that easy!

When the acceptance comes from other girls, the scars will slowly heal.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 7:27 am 
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What helped me feel better was buying a set of nice clothes and getting a hair cut. Generally just making myself look fabulous which makes me feel fabulous and just feel confident in pursuing more women.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 3:20 pm 
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What helped me feel better was buying a set of nice clothes and getting a hair cut. Generally just making myself look fabulous which makes me feel fabulous and just feel confident in pursuing more women.
This one worked for me, but add on a Kasjmir scarf:)

Be sad when your sad, feel awesome by buying shit, be pissed and work it all out in the gym, reconnect with friends, find new challenges.

Just don’t throw yourself into one thing, if its a challenges, the gym, or maybe some random girl. Be balanced, allow yourself to be sad and allow yourself to find balanced distractions.

Most of all your genes wont be extinct, there will be someone else. Even the mystery method starts with the 3 essentials to be attractive: Health, Success (not money, but just being good at what you do) and love (not as a girl, but having friends). If you’re here, you got these, or you will have them soon.

Most off all and this one is really important finds things to be optimistic about and thankful for. Preferably at the start and the end of the day.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 19, 2009 11:23 am 
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I know exactly how you feel i to am dealing with a rough break-up i dated this girl for a very long time she ended up breaking up with me on the day i was going to propose to her, soon to find out that she was cheating on me :(. It hurt and yes you are going to go through that depression because its someone you loved for so long but just keep your friends close, its healthy to just go thru the process things get better as time goes on wether you believe it or not. Just let time tell whats going to happend go do things to keep your mind off shit.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 29, 2009 3:37 am 
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I've found myself in a somewhat similar situaion, but with a different and rather vexing mindset. I've found acceptance from other girls, but don't really want it. I'm at 3 months post-breakup, and still am not interested in doing much with other girls. Frankly, I'm heartbroken and still in love, and have been mourning the relationship for some time. Anyone have suggestions on how to get myself more interested in other girls, so I can start getting laid again to get over it?


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 3:57 am 
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I can relate to all this shit guys, I just broke up with my chick after 2.5 years and marriage talk. I've only been broken up for about a month (exactly a month today) but for me the way I've been able to get over my girl was by filling the void with other women. I'm not necessarily saying go out and bang chicks, well don't get me wrong I am, but I'm saying just interact with women. I signed up for a match account and that has helped because I had instant access to women I could talk to.

I believe that everything in life happens for a reason, and if you/me are meant to be with our chicks then it will work out. If not, we'll meet other chicks and move on.


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