Through continuous research, self discovery and some free interactive programs, I found out why its been so difficult/failed at connecting with people; its because I trained myself to repress emotional expression at a young age and carried the same habits automatically ever since. The ways its most noticable is I don't know how to give someone a facial expression and automatically disengage and prevent rapport with other ppl. Studying body language helps me to understand other peoples nonverbal communication but being aware and mastering my own is all inner game psychoemotional work.

Programs/workshops/psychotherapy are not affordable for a working class hero. Even so I will use free resources like people, natural environments and the internets to learn how to lay my armor down and open up to people. Underneath all this armor is a natural; I can feel it and other people can too, but the emotional firewall scares them away. I am the type of guy who can make a women melt just by looking at them directing my sexual energy towards them. This doesn't happen yet because I'm not open to allowing people to know what I'm feeling just by lookin at me.

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The environment in which I'm most open to people and in a state where although I'm still unaware of what my specific facial expressions are I emit a natural vibe is in a non-serious enviromnent doing and saying non serious things.probably because in essence I am a caveman: I see all people as nothing more than mammals and I have no manners or social graces; if I try to imitate them, the result is repeating words like a robot.

Thus my first destination is the beach. Its a part of nature and the least formal place in the city. If someone ask how are you, my truthful answer of "FUKKEN AWESOME" is totally acceptable and I think girls will love it. It feels like there's a wild and adventurous aspect to socializing at the beach. The laws of the land still apply, but the social norms are moar open to creativity. You expect the unexpected, and when u think about it, girls wanna meet beach studz while they're chillin in the sand wit their friends.

I'm gonna say all sorts of random shit to start laughter and meaningful convo. As long as I keep the objective of making everyone I interact with happier I'm not concerned with retaliation or harassment status.

Aight here goes, just got off bus at a beach far away from the beach I live by. Even talking to 2 people tonight is a start.

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This first mission was not carried out, seems I started too late in the day. I first started walking along the beach from Playa Del Rey (Los Angeles, CA) when it was almost 7pm on Friday last week.


There were a usually a few groups of people here and there and I went past a few areas with over 100 people standing/lounging around with some tents and BBQs. I didn't approach any of them. All the girls I would have stepped to seemed to be with younger siblings or BFs. Furthermore I was mostly walking along the shore and seen sexy wimmins in the ocean or in the middle of the beach, didn't want to make a beeline for anyone.

Then the last hour on the beach until sunset I was walking on a empty beach behind a power plant, then went up to PCH, no bus came. Walked back to LA Airport and took a bus home. Only people I talked to the whole day was the guy making my sandwich at subway and an LAXPD officer who, I think, was telling me not to enter the tunnel under the runway, cuz there's no sidewalk.

Next Thur or Fri my days off I'm planning day 2 of this operation, changing it up a bit. Go to the beach and then another venue like UCLA campus or an outdoor mall.

The purpose of this is self destruction b4 self improvement. I am a lot more antisocial than I thought I was and starting at the point of 0 social skills relearn the basics of how to talk to people by experimenting saying random things to random people to attempt conversation.

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Update from last week, no practice this week due to finals:

Operation Chaos day 2, or the first real day of the experiment:
It started out dull and just like any other day I go walking around alone, but this time I made a lot of progress and started fulfilling the purpose of this project by pushing my comfort zones, experimenting talking to people and creating social chaos like I don't give a f%&#.


Around 5:30?pm I went down to Santa Monica beach after stopping in the park area above to do some stretching and breathing/voice excersizes. Its tourist season and there's wimmins everywhere. It was gonna be way different than last time.

I saw <b>lots</b> of girls of all different types that were relevant to my interests. I told myself I was gonna approach at least one person before I reached SM pier, but only managed to exchange looks with some as I passed by.
After going over a mile wanting to, but not approaching anyone, I started entertaining myself by talking out loud/freestyling about this experiment and anything else just free flowing talking to nobody inparticular and getting myself to feel like I'm used to talking to people; at this point between the pier and Venice there weren't a whole lot of people on the beach, but still there were many. It actually worked to prepare me to go up to people soon and just start talking to them soon afterwards.

1st approach was along the shore in Venice beach, where it was very crowded there. There were these 2 girls 1, was drawing huge designs in the wet sand, so I stopped next to them to look and asked them what she was drawing. She told me she it was her son'sname and birthday? Me: said nothing important,apparently too fast. She said what and I kept walking.

Next was close to the Venice fishing pier, it looks like a woman some guy sittingon the sand, wasn't sure tho. She was near the shoreline stretching, doing yoga poses, something like that. I heard of yoga on the beach groups in that area so I asked here is this where they practice yoga on the beach. She LOL'd and told me she was just stretching. But they way she said it felt like when you see videos of a PUA opening a girl in daygame and she instantly just opens up to him like its a pleasure to interact with him. Maybe she thought I was giving her a compliment and appreciating it. I don't think I said anything after that just smiled and walked away. But it seems like I could easily have conversations with ppl like this who instanly open up when you approach them.

Walked around the beach some more, them back along the venice boardwalk to the bus stop, when walking down the bus, which was newly built and looked/smelled like it just came out of the factory yesterday, I told 2 Latinasg next to each other "Smells like new bus." What? "It smelles fresh in here." It was just a comment. I stayed on the bus not sure if I wanted to go to a park, downtown, Pasadema or somewhere else to continue the mission... go off by Crenshaw and took a bus back to UCLA. There was this cute Asian chick at the bus stop but she was on the phone prtty much the whole wait and bus ride, and on the bus clolse behing me 2 girls got on I would have approached and they were busy chit chatting really fast the whole time. Couldn't think of anything to begin an interaction with them...

I get off at UCLA when the sky is transitioning from dark blue to black, walking alongside near a water sculpture and see a short asian lady walk up to it and lie down on the ledge. I come up to her tell her that sleeping on campus is not allowed, and procede to write her a ticket. She seemed like a quiet type of person, so not sure if she hears me or not. I tell her I'm just playing, ask her whats good and talk about why we're both randomly llurking in this park area at night, and it turns into like a 10 min conversation that flows smoothly and were both kinda laughing and having fun talking with each other. At the end before we go, I offer to email her directions to sneak into an outdoor pool/recreation area she no longer has access to after she graduated a few weeks ago. She doesn't want to reveal it, so I introduce myself as Anonymous as well and she goes for a handshake. I tell her hugs only and got the first hug close as a result of practicing social improvement/PUA. I then tell her verbally how to sneak in and continue on; shes moving in a week.

After walking around campus some more, while passing by the Ackerman student union/food court area that was closed I hear the sound of social interaction nearby, and determine its coming from the outside deck one level up. At the top of the staircase theres a mixed group of about 15 people sitting in a circle, from what I heard them talking about, it was some sort of bonding/initiation excersize for a group. I leaned against the raining and just stared at them from behind shades acting all cool and shit keeping composure watching my surroundings. It got all quiet, a girl said "awkward," there was some random chit chat and social confusion among them. Some ask the othr members if this was some kind of test. Eventually someone nearby gets up and moves, as if letting me pass the group that was blocking the whole walkway. But I go take a seat right there as if I'm joining them. More social chaos, laughter and confusion. A few ppl, girls I think, left the group in the time I was sitting with them. They were like who is this guy? Is this part of the activity? Soon someone asks me to tell them my name and say everyone elses name, apparently what they were doing b4 I walked up. "I am Anonymous, you are all Anonymous" is all I could think of. seeing how irrelevant I was, a guy nearby me told me he didn't mean to be rude, and told me they were doing a bonding excersize and didn't want to be disrupted, basically asking me to leave indirectly. Rather than open up and has them who are you guys do you wnat to be my friends I went along with their assumptions, raised my hands told them "You've all passed this test, carry on now," and walked on. On the way down I saw what looked like some of the girls I scared away inside the building talking to a janitor.

That was my first experience approaching a group. This time it turned out the group was some sort of co-ed fraternity/campus organization/semi-official group and I invaded their meeting and trolled them. They still think someone set that up as a prank. I'll think of this next time i want to approach a group of people outside somewhere during the daytime and it will seem easy compared to this.

Went into Ralphs after this and it was very rowded with UCLA students buying groceries and shit, and alotta fine girls there, but I didn' think of anything to say to any of them. Saw this fine ass thick asian chick around the store then a few checkout lines over and ahead of me. I walked thru the middle of the parking lot <s>stalking</s> trying to find her, found her and her friend loading the trunk. Said "Sup" in an ungrounded way, my target looked at me weird and I walked on.

The bookstore was closed, went home 4 the night.

--- Update from yesterday ---

After leaving from another meeting with Inner Confidence inner-confidence-meetup-workshop-los-an ... 48389.html I did another h-close literally a minute later. Saw woman walking in front of me carrying a bag from the company I work for. Hey. Hey. Do you like CENSORED or competitor better? Unfotunately I have neither of those in my state. Shes from Idaho, I still didn't find out what she was doing here. I told her we were gonna build one right near her house. ORly? Yea, I'll make it happen. Come see me when we open up, I'll be the new manager, a little fluff about the neighborhood, the company, the grocery I work for, etc. As I'm walking away she gives me the most obvious verbal IOI, what's your name. We exchanges names and she started to hold out for a handshake. I walked back to her and then "ehp, Hugs only" when I do this I spread my arms wide ope without leaning towards anyone, like take it or leave it. We share a warm hug then gets a phone call rite after and takes it. I made mistake of waiting while she said brb almst home to the caller, talked less than a minute more and asked if she had email. She said no, then we started talking at same time: Her: Well yea but bla bla bla... Me: Do you have electricity? (David D. line when u don't know how to respond. Good nite, etc).

In both hugs closes they happened to be moving/didn't live here, they were both allright but not like somene I would pick out of a crowd. Can't wait to see what happens when I run into someone I'm very attracted to and approach. But it feels good man to see that I actually do have natural conversational skills and am able to get strangers comforable enough to hug with kowing them less than 10 min.

This last close happened in only a few minutes and so random, which shows me how valueable it is just to be out there with people. If anything from this mission turns into a pickup I would postt it as a FR or LR and link to it.

I'm also doing an experiment starting tomorrow, where I don't use the internet at home for 10 days to see how much more I can be outside interacting with nature more viewtopic.php?p=268198. Also on building my social life from scratch, thread related building-a-social-life-from-scratch-vt4 ... highlight=

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tone done the 4chan meme's. It's embarrassing.

And good luck on getting rid of your AA.

Dude - Getting out there is half the game so be proud of yourself for that. It's obvious you are looking over material before leaving and trying to use it in the field. That's what you need to do to grow. Great Job.

So I'm not an expert but I want to offer my two cents on your experiment so far. I think the biggest thing holding you back is you are going out sarging with no nothing else to do (except maybe to explore). This is good (it gives you a laid back vibe) but also bad for this reason...you will think PUA is a full time thing. Most people integrate PUA into their lives.

So my suggestion would be to either continue your sarges while out running errands, doing something, etc OR bring along a friend. Both of these options will do two things for you - it will keep you in a good frame. Doing things while out will make you feel productive OR conversing with a friend will put you in a social frame. Both will allow your approaches to feel much more natural.

That's my two cents for what it's worth....best of luck and keep up the sarging. And make sure to call Ms. Potato Head (the Idaho girl). It's good experience.

Hi,

first- good on you dude. You are taking action and that is the one thing that makes any difference for real.

I am finding myself taking more and more action pretty much on a continual basis.
Yesterday I did three approaches that went to shit but that is cool. I don't feel bad about that. In fact, I am pretty much in the self destruct. mode, where I see that first I must dissolve my ego before I find myself and am able to express myself most clearly.

I mean I can approach and then after the initial novelty has worn off then it usually goes to shit but guess I am still paying "school fees"(thanks to Mel Gibson for the term)

As far as self improvement is concerned, I would suggest to anyone to do it. Approaching takes balls and there is a real sense of achievement no matter how shit it goes- most guys don't have the guts to do it.

Keep it up dude, I truly believe that success is simply a question of persistence and time.

For me going out and walking around alone is an activity, so I'm alrite with going around the park/mall/beach/campus/street/etc. and doing approaches. It feels productive, smooth and eazy cuz I've been a loner for so long that I know how to have fun going out with my 3 best friends me myself and I, which is what I gotta do most of the times to have fun. This experience is enhanced a lot now that I am comfortable trying to go talk to people. Also my goal is "learning social skills," picking up chicks is an awesome side effect but not the only reason I do these missions.

If It feels like you're going out just to develop PUA skillz you have no life and no present social value. That's how I might feel if I went to a club alone tho. But on thse missions I'm out having fun and being a fun person to interact with, so its all good there.

It would be awesome to do these missions with friends and wingmen but I don't have any close friends or anyone I know who would want to practice with me. If any of u guys (or girls) wanna do this I'm down for it. Cuz you are in a much more social mode when you're already with people, and its easier to make friends when you have friends. It'll be like we're here kickin' it, rather than I'm here alone. Not to mention so much more conversational potential the more people u have with u.

Overall the main dirrerence between what I do now and what my "former AFC self" and most guys would do is they go around waiting for shit to happen; walking around hoping someone will talk to them or quietly sipping their drink imagining what it would be like to have a group of friends/a girl like the ones sitting at those tables. I'm up to the point where I go out looking for opportunities to start the action myself, and am becoming increasingly better at it.

3 days in a row off next week, got some exciting things planned with this project. If this how I'm going to learn to undo emotional repression and develop as a natural, one thing I gotta work on is getting out earlier on mission days. I can do this by not going online late at night so much, keeping organized at home and handling my workouts first thing in the morning.

Although I did have some success on the streets at night, in well lighted areas, I think day game is best practiced <i>during the day</i> tho. Then I could actually be ready to approach on the street anywhere, whereas when its dark and I can't see people clearly I always have this ready to fight instinct when passing someone. Also more ppl are outdoors in nature earlier in the day and later on do stuff with their groups of friends in the city, or whatever else people do in the evening, I dunno...

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Sounds like you got a plan.

I suggested bringing a wing because that it what works for me...that way I had a good time with friends regardless of how my sarging went that day/evening.

Either way keep it up! I hope to hear about another number close or a day two soon.

Personally - I need to work on my day 3s and seduction. I've gotten better at approaching and getting numbers recently...but anything beyond even simple kino is now causing me problems. For me it's all about experience (being in situations I'm comfortable in)...I have that with opening/gaming, now I need to expand to the later stages.

Let's use this community to keep everyone motivated and constantly learning and growing!