Quote:
Those lecturing gurus would have no audience if the flier read, "Pick Up Techniques for the Hottest Girls! Come in today! By the way, it will only work if you are good looking."
OF COURSE they try to sell their crap to a large audience. OF COURSE, they exaggerate. Here's the truth: Your looks don't matter. . . (as much as looks do for women)
Don't you have any female friends? 90% of the time when they go out, they're usually pointing out other beautiful women. In the words of one of my female friends, "Guys all look the same. They look like boxes. They have the same hair, and wear pants and a shirt. . . . " Of course this same girl will see that ONE guy in a bar and go, "Oh my God I'm going to orgasm." . . . but that's ONE guy in the bar.
Here's where "looks" really come into play for a woman. Whereas his DICK drives the man, the woman is more concerned with her social surroundings. when a guy springs a boner while staring at a girl, he zones in and just about everything else fades away. After he fucks her, he can just tell his buddies, "Ha ha ha, beer goggles!" And everybody just laughs.
On the other hand, a woman needs approval from the her surroundings. She doesn't want to look like a slut. She doesn't want to look desperate and she doesn't want to seem cheap. So if she does walk out of that bar with a guy, she's not only thinking with her own sexual drives and her emotions but she's thinking, "Are my friends watching? Is that guy who I really like watching? What will they think of this?" (Of course unless she is totally zonked with either alcohol or you've overwhelmed her senses) And of course the older a girl becomes, that sorority sister act becomes less and less important.
And this is why we "game". Lowering those fears are part of the game. Winning over HER social circle is part of the game. Isolating her from that crap is part of the game. Attracting her enough so that none of the above is a factor is part of the game.
What you described to support your "looks matter" case is a very one dimensional game. You're gaming a girl as if she has any decision at all. She doesn't. She doesn't frown at you because SHE thinks that you are ugly or weird. She frowns at you because based on your TOTAL presentation, the frown keeps her perceived social position in that particular environment intact. She has no choice in the matter. Don't complain about it. Work with it.
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I honestly think the only difference between men and women is that men have to be attracted sexually first before they're attracted mentally, and women have to be attracted mentally first before they're attracted sexually
to me, a woman's personality is about 40 - 60% of the battle and the rest is looks. that's how most woman see men as well
the PUA community severely misrepresents this aspect (women's personality and men's appearance)
I, and many other men I know, are every bit as turned on by personality as looks
hell for that matter, I know men who don't really give a shit what their girlfriend looks like as long as she's nice