Quote:
Yes, I have been in relationships. That's why I said it. When you are with someone she is special for you and you for her. But once you break up you find someone else and in most of the cases forget the other one that used to be SOOOO special. Now the other is your special girl. So you see, this 'special' hypotesis is completely subjective.
Why would someone has to think "I am not worthy for her" ? Are you kidding me ? Is this your advise for the starter of the thread ? If you think yourself you are not worthy enough, than why on earth would any girl even bother to want a loser like you ?
I am just trying to help the guy who started the thread. He knows this girl for a very long time but nothing is happening because he is too chicken to do something about it. After all this time they know each other he is still worrying about IOI's. I think that is pretty hilarious. Even if she isn't giving IOI's than it is still better to do something than to wait 20 years for an IOI. At least, that is my opinion.
Now if you were to completely forget about a relationship I would hazard the guess, that you weren't that attatched, the general process for a strong attatchment being severed, is the PDD cycle Protest, Despair, Detattchment. Now even after the last cycle is complete, you would still be able to recognise if a bond held meaning.
That is something that can make it special even after it is over, understanding what the person meant to you then and feeling greatful for it.
Next Point; stop using hyerbole, and yes he should go for it, but you deciding that BL bollocks on your one singular case, then applying that to everyone else (even though the fact that you didn't notice she was into you becuase she turned her head away, shows that you probably weren't reading the BL with any real understanding)
Final Point, No this is not my advice, but simply walking around with an attitude like "They are not worthy", is an attitude commonly held by losers
in denial. And I've seen it in this community a problem the community has now and again are members who join up, get drowned in pseudo macho philosiphy of "I'm the man, I'm the prise, women should be begging for my awesome cock"
Then he logs off the computer, goes to work, talks to some female customers in Macd's who get wierded out while he convinces himself that they were tottaly into him.
----------------------------------------------------------------
My atittude is an assumption that everyone else is awesome until proven otherwise, everyone is worth my time and I theirs. <---- This is the secret to good people skills, a good vibe.
You will not be able to give of a good vibe, if people feel they are being scrutinised and pressured to be their best.
It's a toughy I know, but eventually you'll catch on, it's about having standards for people, with out pressuring them to fit a cookie cutter.
If you want confidence, and real confidence, the kind that comes straight from your inner self, not some quote you stumbled on while browsing these forums, then become succesful in whatever you do. Work for your place as a winner as a success! That confidence is backed with authority, achievements the mindset that derives from that is grounded in reality. This is the
confidence of reality.
You say "Man people have to show me that they are worth my attention before I take them seriously, I'm alpha, I have no time for losers."
I'll slap you across the face, look you in the eye and tell you to stop being such delusional cunt; becuase thier is no way that the person who just said that is in anyway "cool", let alone to the extent that they believe themselves to be.
Becuase that attitude is almost never backed by any true confidence, it is a mirage, a feeling, it has no back bone, it is a confidence created by sunny weather and inspiring quotes, yes it is empowreing this confidence. But the minute the shit hits the fan.
Suddenly it's all to clear how flippant this form of confidence is, and shirks away. That confidence only appears while your on a high, and that confidence; Yes it can last for months, but within minutes in can be stripped off of you.
Confidence in reality, endures, it is a rock, when the chips are down it will push you through. THAT my friend is confidence, and it relies on real statements, it relies on real achievements.
Not on what some shady character on a forum tells you.
If someone wants my advice on confidence, I tell them this.
I don't care how badly you have done in life. You may have no job, no girl-friend, no friends, no car, you may have fucked up a million times and you may be a thousand flaws.
You may currently be the biggest loser on the face of this planet, and I couldn't care less about that.
Becuase as a human being, you are open to change, and what has happened and what you were do not matter, becuase every second you are re-inventing yourself, the present may be terrible but the great thing is it doesn't exhist.
Now you may think, "hold on I'm in it now", well your not in NOW your not in NOW your not in it NOW.*
Becuase the present is inevitably the past and the past at one point may have been the future, and the whole things the same bag of bones anyway.
What you should know is that your are constantly trapped in a position of coming into being and passing away and coming into being and passing away. What you are does not matter in the future, It is what you become, you as a human being have potential and even if you are not a success now, you could theoretically be one.
So go for it, become a success, work for your confidence, earn it, and enjoy it when you have acomplished it.
Hope that made somethings clearer, I went on a little tangent but I feel it is relevant
* Credits to the film "naked"