| I don’t mean jargon. I mean vocabulary. I was thinking it is beneficial for us to speak in certain ways, with certain words. Of course, a lot of this is dependent upon context and culture, but in general…
Words NOT to use:
But (use though, or and)
So
Negative adjectives
BUT is a bad word. It stinks, really. For instance, “No I agree, but…” = “I don’t agree.” It’s just totally negative. Of course there are situations you could use it, for instance when incorporating push pull and you might’ve just hit em with a compliment, which may require you to push them away again. So…so is probably one of the most important words NOT to say, and one of the hardest. Juggler noted that people who have rapport speak to each other in statements, not questions. Similarly, those with rapport don’t use the word ‘so’ (at the beginning of sentences, i.e. not a synonym for 'therefore'). Cut it out. IN GENERAL, frame everything positively so you are associated with positive vibes. E.g, “I was wondering how come you aren’t feeling so well then?” Not, “Why are you feeling bad?”
Words TO use:
Yes
Because
I agree
Sarah (HB’s name)
Nickname for HB
Positive adjectives.
Yes yes yes, yes is good. Because – research has shown that just by using the word because per se, increases persuasion by a third. So always say because – the reasons you give afterwards are not necessarily as important as that word. I agree. I hope you do too. Agreement is good because it’s an age-old phenomenon that everyone knows about; yes, it increases perceived friendliness and thus attraction. Using the person’s name causes a similar effect, and creating nickname ensures the girl will remember you later in the night.
One final note - swearing. I have found you can use swearing to your advantage, but it depends heavily upon the situation; if I’m going indirect and taking a soft, courteous approach, I might swear just to show the girl that I can be a bad guy, I mean business, and I am man enough to swear without caring about her reaction. If I am going direct, swearing can give off ‘creep/womanizer’ vibes. The other way to look at it is if they are swearing or their friends are, then it's good to match their vocabulary to build rapport, and if they don't, then you don't. It's generally safe to swear when talking to younger girls. Guess this one's open for debate.
If you have any more to add, be my romping gay partner (I mean by my guest).
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