Field report: Texting her a pic of my cock.
Her: I can tell it's going to be a slow night at my bar. Start thinking of a funny pic to send me:) (we've exchanged phone pics before)
Me: I'm not your monkey you know!
Her: Not my monkey, just my photographer;)
Her: No pic

Me: Here - hold this phone to your leg so i can hump you! (a pic of my crotch)
Her: Waaaa Omg that was traumatizing!
Me: Oh was it too big? I'm sorry.
Her: Hahahaha youre funny
Me: So where's mine? It's ok, you can wait till you have a private moment;)
Her: No dirty pictures! Youre taking the fun out of being silly. Perv.
Me: Alright mother Theresa. Send me one involving...snow...or ice. (it was freezing out)
Her: A message from Mother Theresa. (a pic of her sticking her tounge out)
Me: You're not being spanked enough.
Her: In the pic or in life?
Me: Both of course
Her: I think your ex turned you all kinky
Me: I knew you'd like it
Her: How'd she do it
Me: By sending me dirty texts
Her: Bullshit. Either you were having kinky sex or no sex.

Me: We had kinky sex. I'm surprised you're surprised.
Her: (no response)
So I played it well untill my last text. It doesn't really make sense and I should have replied C&F. If I could do it all over again I'd send a pic of my nipple instead saying, "You know you want the nip!".