As one who is just naturally good at pick up and one who never felt the need to use canned material except on a few occasions (I'll admit), I'll go ahead and express some of my views on what we know as "pick up"--this particular one has been hanging over my head since....well, since I started going after girls, I guess you could say. Here it goes:

In my experience, I see, far too often, a dude gets some canned material, learns some tricks, gets a clue, and some collared shirts, hits a bar or a club and starts on as many girls as he can as if he suddenly was given the universal key to their chastity belts. He now feels as if every girl is now a target simply because he thinks he can get some from her--have his standards suffered a blow due to his recently acquired skill? In this man's reality, finding the girl is easy but getting the girl is hard. To some of the more experienced guys, both the finding and achieving are equally easy. Why do guys do this? Are we all really that desperate that at the first sign of attractive tail we run for it? Do girls we can barely relate to really satisfy us?

However, I see it this way, these skills should make it easier to get the girl but make the right girl harder to find. Meaning, these skills, while making it easier to get a girl, should in theory, raise your standards as well. You should be conscious of what you want to see in a woman and not just accept anything. Find some physical trait you like, some activity. Find interesting girls, girls that fit your character, that are, yes, as attractive as they are complex. Don't settle for less for a quick lay unless its been a few year drought and you don't see any rain in sight except this one cloud. But in all honestly, have standards and don't ditch them. It will make the girl you want harder to find, but it will be so much more worth it. That, in my opinion is the "hard" part of pick up, finding a girl to meet your standards, satisfy what you've been looking for, something deeper. Don't just look at the skin; after all, the inside can be even more attractive than the out. I'm saying look for the girl that makes the spark and when you find this girl, you should be able to take care of the rest easily. Right?

The whole idea of "The harder it is to find/get, the more rewarding it is," is definitely universal. So call me idealistic, young, naive, hopeful, what have you--just my opinion. And yeah, I'm not one for clubs, bars, drinking, partying, meat, drugs, so on and so forth, but that's just me.

I totally understand your message and this is very nice.
I am one to disagree though. There seems to be a lot of ‘you have to know what you want, you should find a girl who’s interesting to you, you should have high standards and not settle for a quick lay’ etc etc BS around in the community.

The truth of the matter is, you don’t have to do anything, and there’s no 100% correct way to do anything. You can do what the hell you want. If you want quick lays with 6’s, then DO IT. Who cares? That’s what you want. Just do what you want as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone in anyway.

I find many girls amazingly attractive just by talking to them for a minute. I’d think they’re interesting and unique. I’m probably stupidly wrong, BUT I DON’T CARE. I like it, I’ll get a quick lay, I’ll manage expectations so they don’t get hurt after, and there was never anything serious or deep in it (except the travels of sergeant schlong).

So yeah, do what you feel like, basically. If you like easy fucks, go for it. If you want a hotter girl or like the thrill of a challenge, go for it. No need to be dictated by anything.

I agree with Sun. I dont look at all girls the same... I just don't. Some are chill, some are annoying as fuck, some are exciting and out of control, some make you wanna fuck, some make you wanna run.

I was actually thinking about posting something like this. Up until recently, when I would go out, I would approach the generic "attractive" girls. If they were good looking I would say whats up. The problem was, 90% of these girls I wasn't really attracted to on a real level. Shit was superficial; it was like "I know my friends would think this chicks really hot." And she might be, but if shes wearing UGs and spandex, I know I would have more fun with the chick whose wearing a hoodie or a ball cap.

I dig chicks who can spit and can hang, without getting plastered off 3 mai tais in 45 minutes. Shes got a bottle of beer, I'm about it. Just my experience. Its on auto vibe. I think because I know I will have fun with her, even if we just pal around, I come correct. Maybe its a flaw in my game, but I'm done spending lots of time on these Debbies. If shes talking about her sisters chihuahua I'm gonna bounce. If shes talking about Pink Floyd, now we can be real.

ALSO, I think because I am not interested in just any girl, when I am interacting with the 'others,' they can feel from me I would never use them for anything, and I might even be disinterested. Her attraction towards me will usually go up as now she must step up HER game.

If you're laying girls you feel are PERSONALLY "beneath" your standards, you are using them. Think.

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Heh, beat you to it.
That's effectively what I'm talking about. There's this mass of, what I consider to be, these mediocre, generic "attractive girls" who prep themselves up and wear the tights, the UGs, and the north face fleece jackets. They're everywhere, there's no shortage, no difficulty finding them. We are being told this is what is attractive for some bizarre reason. Is it in front of us because we like it or do we like it because its in front of us? Are these "conveyor belt girls" really what you want? I'd rather go to a party and find the closet hot girl in the back that nobody else is talking to and make her night.
Absolutely, Floyd and Crimson. Being a musician myself and such its important to me that a girl be down with that--know I may be leaving for months at a time. It'd be bad ass if she, herself, were also a musician.
Also what I'm saying is kind of hinting at the fact to at least have some moral integrity.
You're right. There is nothing that is 100% correct here, I'm just weighing in with my opinions.

What do I think. I think each to their own

Sun Of Nothing makes the point of finding that special someone. If that is your perogitive then go dor it. You must do what feels comfortable and right for you.

On the other hand Rafiel Gamble is right in the respect if you wanna get laid lots by HB6's then get laid lots. Thats what that particular person wants thats what they should do.

If everyone was the same, life would be very boring indeed. Me personally, I would like to get laid by a few different girls, then hopefully find a girl I connect with. That is the reason why I use as natural a game as poss (lucky for me i learn't to be a magician when i was young so use that in my natural pick up )

Rafiel,

I agree with you man, but I also like his point where he says "the right girl should be hard to find." because I believe once your ability to attract many has increase, then there should never be a "settle."

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I definately agree with not dipping your standards. The other week I was out with a few mates and I was gaming a girl that I had gamed a few weeks earlier (her friend and my friend hooked up and are seeing each other now) but when I realised I was at the stage that I could just walk up and kiss her without any kind of k-close routine I thought "Hang on a sec, am I really that attracted to this girl?" the answer was no, I wasn't that attracted to her so I decided to stop the gaming. Her friend then was actually trying to drag me over to her to kiss her (you know you've made an impact when the friend wants you to go to her aswell) but I calmly declined. I could've settled for it and probably got a lay but that would be me using her without being interested, and considering I would definately be seeing her again (with our friends being together etc) I decided it would also be unfair to her to lead her on in that way.

It's a responsibility in a way, just because I had the power in the situation and could've got anything that I wanted out of it doesn't give me the right to use and abuse when I'm not even that interested.

I like the example about Pink Floyd, I too am a musician and that is a VERY important thing to me, if a girl likes r'n'b/hiphop etc that's up to her, I don't mind that but she'd have to respect the music I'm interested in aswell (not neccersarily like, but respect).

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Yep, some great points here and I can definately see merit in all sides of the discussion.

I think it all depends on the person.
It depends upon your personal philosophy of love and attraction. See, I personally don't believe there is such thing as 'the right girl', so if that assumption isn't true for someone then your entire conclusion is somewhat flawed.
I have high standards, but at the same time I'm not at all conscious of what I want to see in a woman (except I like girls with tights), I just accept what I like and oftentimes I can't pin what this is. I don't try to either. For me it's like watching a magic trick, it's more fun to watch the magic unfold than trying to pick it apart and spoil it. Of course there is the notion that it helps for us to convey to girls that we are picky and have standards though. I generally don't sarge girls below 7, though sometimes I go for novelty fucks, if there's something special about the girl.

But yeah, on the whole I agree with you, nice thread buddy.

What can I say?


I totally agree with your view on this matter.

Good thread. I agree if you`re laying girls that you feel are beneath you, you`re using them.

I don`t really keep preferences on the type of girl I want. I just know if we`re compatible. For an LTR, there`s gotta be more than looks going for her!!