Hello

I'm new in this great forum and I need your help. All I can say that I'm a chicken. My problem is, I don't speak English natively ( I can speak English good enough), but when I'm nervous I hardly can make a complete correct sentence. The problem is when I think of approaching a girl, I chicken out because I think she's gonna laugh at the way I talk. I imagine myself getting nervous and not speaking very well. I see too many girls I like everyday on the subway and train . I tried many times to approach in the first three seconds, but I fail because I can't think of something fast to say.

Please help me, can anyone recommend me a way to overcome this approach anxiety, I need way that I can practice in the subways. I don't want to end with a number or kiss,I just need a way to open a girl fast and close in few minutes, just to practice talking to girls.

Thank you

hey man i dont think theres really a quick solution to your problem but youve just got to throw it out there. i remember the first few approaches i made i was absolutely terrified, and thats why its kind of helpful to have something canned as you have belief in how it has worked for other guys. After a few approaches youll just start to get used to it and you grow in confidence.

As for the english not being your native language that is a real asset to your game. My friend is egyptian and ye he sometimes gets his words slightely muddled up and we rip it out of him but its part of him. Girls love something different and its an easy conversation point. Just ask a girl where shes from and shes more that likely to ask it back. My friend always pulls out the egyptian card and girls love it he makes jokes about pyramids and camals its become a massive part of his game.

Anyway dude hope that is some help the truth is sometimes youve just got to throw yourself outside of your comfort zone, and when you do it you begin to overcome things you used to find scary its really rewarding.

Peace out anyway happy xmas

i was just thinking of a new one today. dont be afraid of rejection because it will just increase your odds.

example: say 1 in 4 girls will with giving you their number getting rejected will increase your odds.

anyway an accent is sexy. im from NY and when im other places further away it gets pick up right away.

Try it in an over the top nervous way.

walk up to a girl and get a paper out of your pocket, what says do you come here often? Then stutter it up and pretend you cannot say it because of your nervousness.
then give her the paper. It will start the conversation. It really will, and after a few times the conversation will go easier. Its a fun way to overcome your approach anxiety.

It helped me, but hey, iḿ weird

and don't forget to smile, otherwise they might think you're serious!

grts,
Ineptus

What always helps me is this quote:

The PUA who gets rejected the most, leaves with the most numbers.

Hello

Thanks guys for your advises, I was really concerned about my not so good English speaking, but I think I shouldn't be thinking of it as an obstacle. Thanks for the nervous approach I like it, but I feel it's hard for me. I need something that's just easy to say and doesn't make me think it's silly to say (which usually makes me keep thinking until I freak out before I approach ) . I know it sounds weird, but I literally can't say anything , I need a quick-in approach and get out soon, just to practice the talking . Thinking of odds is good idea but I'm before fear of rejection level, I'm in fear of making social attempts to strangers.

Thank you guys again for your answers, it really comforted me and hopefully I'll practice soon

happy xmass

Hey MNPUA, I feel your pain, I was hopeless at opening and I have only recently started to get over the problem.

A few days ago I made a post: "My Battle With Approach Anxiety and How I defeated it" my-battle-with-approach-anxiety-and-how ... 35147.html

I really hope you can find something in there which will help. Good luck man

designer,

Your post is exactly what I'm looking for. Thank you, nice tips, I like the Canned Low risk openers such as "what's the time". I'll practice on doing those small things that I believe will help me doing more approaches in the future

MNPUA, I am really glad I could help. Just keep at it, and most importantly get out there in to the field and you will crack it eventually.

Just to echo what the other guys are saying, also try doing silly openers that you know will get you a funny look, just to amuse yourself, sometimes they might even work.
A classic line that is now legendary among the PUA guys I go out with is "What's your favourite cheese?" the first time I tried it I was terrified and the outcome couldn't have gotten worse, but having done it, it was really funny. I'm not over AA completely yet but it is getting much better, I have lost count of how many people I've said "what's you favourite cheese?" to, infact I said it to a girl the other day and she responded really well (I think she said her answer and I just said something like "nope, wrong answer, the answer is cheddar, you were close though")

_________________
"My toughest opponent is always myself"
Musterion's Journal

Where are you from, anyway? And what country are you in now?

In any event, tell the girls you talk to that English is not your first language, and you want to practice speaking it with them. They'll light up and talk to you. Don't worry about using material when talking to them, or trying to impress them; feel free to do a very simple interview-style question-and-answer session. Every time they answer a question, answer the question yourself, and then answer anything they ask you.

Like everyone has said, your accent and lack of English skills is an ASSET. You are unique and different and girls will want to talk to you because of that.

Seriously, try it out. Go up to a group of people (girls, guys, doesn't matter) in a coffee shop or something, and tell them that you don't speak English very well, and you need to practice, and would it be okay if you spoke to them to learn.

If you want to do some DHVing, you can even teach them how to speak YOUR language. Just give them a few common phrases, a few funny phrases, etc. That gives you unique value that other guys don't even have.

You're sitting on a pile of advantages, dude. You just need to realize that.

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haha Musterion, love that one, i am gonna use that tomorrow, scares the hell out of me but i will give it a shot