Hey guys,

So, i don't got every answer in the book and still struggle with some concepts of my own, etc.. Girls, men complain about girls and girls complain about us. How ironic.

So, this chick from myspace - she and I flirt back and forth. It seems to be going well, then she calls me because I let her have my number. So, we stay on the phone 2 hours straight talking about her stupid ex boyfriend how shw was used. The whole Whiny - I'm a loser kinda bit, right? Well, so I told that she should pick her self up, and next time look int he mirror and actually start believing in herself more. Right, i know what you're thinking - I can almost sense a strong telegraphic message coming across your heads, "AFC \ BETA BEHAVIOR" yes, yes, yes, I admit - I'm a sucker for people in trouble. Very am so, because why? I care - I'm like a Carebear that no matter how many knife wounds I get I still care.

Now, that is my flaw as a human and also a suppose PUA. I guess, but still I'm not a PUA. I'm just another AFC - I fooled myself by thinking I've changed into becoming closer to a PUA but then the Reality Fairy decides to clonk me in the head and BAM i got a welt on my fucking head for being so retarded.

So, anywho - it seems that I care too much which is ssley the case because there has to be some way I can turn that wonderful switch caring off. The only way I don't care is if I hate the person. If I like the person or love then I care. If love was a person they'll be sued for a billion dollarsd for selling a damn product that is somewhat defective.

Talking to Rye Lee seemed to Help alot - I some how got re-programmed to understand that if a girl doesn't like me then it's her loss not mine. The point is that I was feeling close or attached to her then seeing the truth about her pissed me off when I soon realized before it was too late my heart was laying on the ground-just throbbing and beating loud and fast.

At the last moment later, I stood up for myself but then it was too late. I wrote to her, "Listen, let's get something straight here. I'm not going to be used or be a tool for you. I will not tolerate this shit." So, I did the right thing. She wrote back, "Well, sorry that I'm exhausted and being human. Stop freaking out!"

Uh, okay, but I had a right to freak out. I was stranding up for myself. During the conversation before I "freaked out" she constantly said "Yeah" at things I was talking about like what I was doing or whatever. Yeah isn't a good statement meaning, "Who gives a shit and you're point". She constantly brought up Mike her ex-bf who used her. I told her straight out that he's using her but no, she still loves him because she trusts him and no matter how crappy he was towards her. Doesn't make sense. Oh, well. I bet you there's a reason for that Sob Story she told me. "I'm so helpless I can't find a boyfriend because I cheated on him" BINGO! I just remembered, she told me she cheateed with him on her other boyfriends. Damn it, the warning sirens should've gone through my head. She was possibly cheating with Mike with other men and that's why Mikey boy broke up with her. Ah ha! Me figure out why Mr. Mikey knocked out into Kanasas.

Plus, the manipulative patterns that I was reading and then klonked me in the head one day was because I remembered the same crappy shit that was used on me with this chick named Kelly. I don't have the best luck with women - unless the good kinds. Good kinds gone to heaven and I'm stuck with evil little Trolls from Hell.

So, acouple of days later I wrote to her, I decided to add her back on my Yahoo thing. So, I worte to her "Hey, I uploaded new photos!" she wrote back, "Yeah" that same Yeah statement. I wrote to her, "Hows it been going?" She wrote back, "I'm just exhausted" Exhausted? Hmm, sounds alittle fucked up to be true. I wrote, "Wlel, I'm kinda busy but just wanted to say hi" then she wrote, "Ok hi"

I laughed to myself then I was like, "
Listen, when you decide to be nice and be friends again then you know where to find me" she wrote back "ok"

I decied to delete off her off my list.

So two questions for you guys! - How do i not give a fuck while give a damn? I can't seem to do that. I get close to someone then I go bananas because I think they don't like me or somehting retarded thought. My mistrust in women are there for a purpose but no my heart decided to tell me, "No, she seems nice" then wam, i get my dick bitten off and my Heart ripped out of my chest. Not nice!

Also, how in the hell do not fall so fast for the crazy ones?

Thanks for the help guys!

Also, I've leaned by expressing myself with humuor whcih is good because I think humour helps create positive energy in the air. If you see my photos on myspace I look silly and wacy - why? Because it's who i am and i accept it because I personally think It' fucking hiliarious and if someone has a cow over it then be my guess. Gee, that part stuck in my head - Thanks Rye. But sitll, the problem lies within that I care too much to people that I think are friends, or whatever. You know?

_________________
"Women Love What They Can't Have!"

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Dissonance Reduction.

You're confusing "Care for them" with "Attracted to them". You blew up so you say to yourself, "Well, I cared for her." Come on . . . wake up and get real.

You don't care about this girl. She's a nut. What you're doing isn't too far from what she's doing: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. . . " . . . you were actually angry with this?

You were ATTRACTED TO HER. So, you sit there and listen to all she has to say. You're obviously not a therapist. Then you get pissed off at your own actions and instead of blaming yourself, you PROJECT your anger on this girl? . . . This is nutty.

You told her, "I'm not going to be a tool. . . " (But YOU ARE . . . She didn't ask for a tool. You offered yourself up for this duty.)

Just focus on physical things for now. You needlessly allowed yourself to be a doormat with this girl. ANY GIRL in the World will stomp on a doormat if you offer it to her. From now on, any girl starts going off on a tangent and you go, "Hey, I gotta get back to my work/studies, can I help you with anything now? No? Call you later."

Any conversation MUST take you one step further into her vagina. If you do not have a strategy for this, DO NOT converse with her. Everything you said to her has nothing to do with caring for her. Ask yourself, "Is she a better person now prior to you conversing with her?" Were you such a great, caring therapist? You know that you're a good guy. We know that you're a good guy. . . You're good, I'm good. We're all good. Done. Now no more of this.

You want her pussy. So let's admit this to yourself and focus on the goal at hand.

My advice: Seek help.

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I'm addicted to facing my fears.

OK just read your story

well let me be a friend in need since I was kinda of in the same situation where the girl was complaining about some guy.

Straight off the bat I understood that I was the rebound guy and it didnt matter to me because I didnt like her personally only liked the fact that she had a mouth to use on my cock.

anyway girls give subtext messages of what they want in relationships and its important to understand them. If what they want it not even close to who you are then have her as a friend no loss. If its close then you have a chance of working on it.

Man to man , Its best you get yourself out there and play the true game and not over the net. Like I say if Im single to the rest of my life and im trying not to be then its ok as long as im trying im not really bothered with the results same thing goes for you.

Go out there and meet girls who are free in mind and spirit not clouded by some guy they had in their past.

I hope this helps

I'M OVER THIS CHICK GUYS! i HAVEN'T SLEPT BEFORE AND I WAS WAY TOO TIRED AND WROTE THIS! WHEN I'M TIRED I GET CRANKY, WHINY, BITCHY NOW GETTING 14 HRS OF SLEEP THANKS TO THE MYSPACE GIRL THAT CAME OVER YESTERDAY I FEEL MUCH BETTER!! STOP POSTING ON MY WHINEY BITCH HELPLESS POSTS! I GOT MORE GOOD SHIT TO RIGHT, IF I'M STUCK ON SOMETHING I'LL LET YOU KNOW!

_________________
"Women Love What They Can't Have!"

My official underground website

http://f4fc0878.linkbucks.com

Hey man,

This just reads like a little neediness, my guess is you're not getting much action and you're lonely.

It can be hard in those situations to be objective and do the right thing, just remember that caring for a girl generally happens after there's already some sort of relationship(at least 1 date in).

Other than that it's just your mind playing tricks like Scarface and Bushwick...

S

Nice! That song just came up on my iPod today for the first time in ages

Phone for two hours?
That's not good homeboy.

There is really no reason to be on the phone with her that long.
If you were on the phone with her for 2 hours, and she only lived half an hour away, you could have met up with her for an hour and a half instead of dhving hardcore on the blower.

If you want me to work with you feel free to email me at suavepua@ymail.com
Id like to help you out.

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Yours Truly... Suave

First of all, I'll say I don't have the time to read all of that at work. Second, you're an AFC. Period. You stay on the phone for two hours which is about two hours too long. You then talk about her exboyfriend?

What are you thinking? Cut that thread and move on to better topics. She linked her bad emotions from her ex to you. Yes, it's that easy and can happen that quickly.

On a side note as well, you need to be enjoying the PUA process and not worrying about the results. If you have fun, the results will come. You're too worried about one person and that is deffinitely screaming out AFC. I've had the same problem so don't feel bad.

Another huge point that has already been pointed out is the fact that you need to work on your inner game. Without strong inner game, you can't have any outer game at all. That is where I would start first.

I request a mod (Chief - Rye Lee - Zip or Gambler) to either delete this thread or lock it. I'm getting sick of tired of getting accusations that aren't even true. I was in a helpless attitude that night when I posted this thread. Thanks really appreciate it!

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"Women Love What They Can't Have!"

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Good call Chanc3

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Yours Truly... Suave

No, I will not delete this post or lock it.

Don't get defensive, don't yell back at the members in all caps. Don't play into haters. You take the good advice and stop running from truth when it comes flying in your face, because, buddy, you asked for it. You want to grow? I'm going to fucking make you on this one.

I say this with good intentions and with love in my heart because I've known you a long time.

Don't stick your head in the sand when a storm that YOU CALLED comes. You pick out the really good grains of advice given to you.

Here's the thing, these guys aren't on here to yell at you. You take the good advice and throw out shitty responses like "seek help." That's how you give a shit while not giving a fuck. You let the good advice in and block out the stupid shit (and not get defensive about it) out. It's just a fucking forum, man. If you have to yell at random dudes you don't even know, you've got to work on your self esteem.

You work on your self esteem by not running away. again. stay a while, and keep on asking questions. stay honest, and keep your head high.

Lesson learned.

p.s. Beschatten, your answer is fucking pathetic and I personally, not as a mod, but personally judge you. This is a place where people are supposed to feel safe and grow, not feel like badasses because they "called out" the AFC.

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- Zip

Thanks Zip - you're right! It's good that people point out some things and I know i have to improve. No, excuses even though I feel like doing so. There are some areas in my frame that's not too strong yet - they will. I just have to calibrate and bring out more stronger parts of my frame into my game.

Thanks again Zip!

_________________
"Women Love What They Can't Have!"

My official underground website

http://f4fc0878.linkbucks.com

I know it hurts when you feel judged, or embarrassed when you feel rejected, or angry when you feel that you've failed. I can guarantee that for as long as you and I live, we will feel these emotions when things don't go the way we want. The only thing that matters is what we do about it.

Words are never really adequate to completely describe an experience or revelation. But given no other choice, I will share with you a belief that has helped me. I am doing this in the hope that you will take them to heart as seriously, and as sincerely as you would if I were standing in front of you with a hand on your shoulder:

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3-Step Method

It's OK to have a bad day. It's OK to feel bad about certain things in your life. These feelings are a part of you, and they help you understand and rationalize all the unpredictable things that happen everyday of our lives. Do not reject or deny these emotions. If you do, you only deny a part of yourself. This is the first step.

The second step follows the first step: It's OK to feel good about certain things in your life. It's OK to reward yourself for your achievements and successes, however small or insignificant you deem them to be. Just as you would not deny that you felt bad about certain things in your life, you would not deny feeling GOOD about certain things in your life.

You should see, feel, and know that these two steps are one and the same. Yet they couldn't be more different in the ways they affect your outlook on life. We as human beings tend to relive our past experiences in our idle time, and sometimes dwell on a particular moment for days or months on end. You and I can't change human nature, but we can change what past experiences we draw upon in our everyday lives. Doesn't it just make sense to draw on the good feelings we have about our lives and achievements? Don't just assume it makes sense, ask yourself WHY it makes sense. There should be one reason that stands out from the others: write the reason down on paper to remind yourself.

The third step is very simple: when going out, sarging, visiting this forum, and living your life, CHOOSE to focus on the good feelings you've had. If you're about to enter into a new environment and do something new, think about all the good times you've had when you were in similar situations. If a negative memory manages to pop into your head, you won't reject it. Instead, you accept it, and balance it out with something good that came out of that experience. Remember, this is the third step, and in order to get here you've already taken the first two steps of accepting ALL of your feelings. You have made peace with yourself, you are much stronger, much more resilient now than before taking these three steps to better your life.

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Stealth, practice doing this and I guarantee you will see an improvement in your life. Remember, the biggest reason we fail is because we cheat ourselves out of success, so it is always important to be honest with ourselves about who we are, what we feel, and how we act.

Good luck man.

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I think one thing is that you have to stop lying to yourself. You said it. Be who you are, and don't regret it. Work on a stronger more confident frame. Work on what is really your problems, and set the things with women on the back burner. You're going to be fine, but it takes time... I know you have been working on it for a while, but take a look at where you started and the progress you have made. With time, you will find that right person.

Be willing to face your demons and your weakness's head on. The most confident people I know address each problem as it happens. They do not put it off for another day, they deal with it then and there then move forward.

Good luck bro,

CK

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success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.