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So, I'm new to this forum but I just found it but I need serious help.
Aight.
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I extremely frustrated because I'm successful, intelligent and creative, have a good job and career, drive an awesome car, have all of my shit together, in a bunch of clubs and organizations, I work out so I'm more fit than 99% of the other guys and I'm told I'm above average in attractiveness and have a great future ahead of me but I'm having trouble conveying that I am the complete package to girls.
I think I just spotted a problem. You want to convey all of this stuff because you think that it's what's going to get you the girls. It's not. The job and the career and the car are things that are external to you. Attractiveness comes from within.
You work out, too, and you're obviously very motivated. That's good. You've got the raw drive. Now it's just a matter of channeling it in the right direction.
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How do I make the pieces fit?
All the stuff that you listed above is for you. That's for your happiness. It's not what you're going to use to attract girls. Because if you do, then they'll be attracted to your stuff and not you. And if you talk about it, they'll think that you're trying to use that stuff to distract them from what you've got inside. No more talking about your stuff. Or your job.
Ever seen
Fight Club? It's a lot like that.
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I meet girls and date somewhat regularly...but most are from the internet or through a friend or friend of the family but all of the experiences end the same as I feel like I'm never in CONTROL. I'll get a couple of dates and then it seems like it dies...I'm like what the fuck. I think I'm in need of a major personality overhaul.
Based on this, I'd say you're head-and-shoulders ahead of most guys who first get into this.
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I haven't ventured into the club scene too much as I'm naturally shy but I'm willing to work at correcting that.
WHERE DO I BEGIN?
With action. And it seems that you're accustomed to that, so you'll improve fast. Start with the free ten-day bootcamp down there in my sig. That'll get you moving.
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I am starting to set up my goals for 2009 and this social stuff is at the top of my list. I'm serious and if there is anyone in the Houston area who wants to help me I'd really appreciate that as I'm willing to put my pride aside to turn this thing around.
Go ahead and learn some theory first. There are some recommended reading lists hanging around this site, as well as some reviews of videos and stuff. Check those out. And be sure to apply what you learn.
Stuff that I recommend:
Everyone involved in this whole deal has read
The Game by Neil Strauss, and you might want to as well. While reading this, keep in mind that it's only one guy's perspective (and that guy has a vested interest in the pickup business, and things have changed since the book came out). It's about a dude that went from nothing to among the best. And it's only a story. I recommend it because it will show you that what you're trying to do is, in fact, possible.
Don't lay any money out on any products just yet. Learn what you can about all the different methods, try them out, and see what you like. I'm a big fan of natural game, m'self.
In the meantime, though, just chill, dude. You can do this.
