I've cracked it. And yeah, I'm not the only one. A lot of guys who have been in the game for as long as me have come to similar conclusions, but I don't see anyone else writing up article on it. This is gonna be long, so make yourself comfortable. It also covers a bunch of stuff which really should be common sense to you by now.


Section 1 - On girls in general.

- There are some things you have to realise about girls. You need to understand how they think and be able to really put yourself in their shoes, and understand how they feel about certain things. Naturals learn this through making friends with girls, getting on the level with them and talking about stuff. If you think you understand girls based on what you've read about social dynamics, no. You may have some idea, but the truth is, if you aren't actually friends with at least a couple and talk about their feelings and the shit they're going through with guys, you don't truly understand.

- Girls are far more social than us. They tend to make decisions based on what the group thinks rather than themselves, and there's a reason for this. See, they all have a special bond with one another due to always being in each others company. They hang around with their friends, go out at weekends, and gossip like all hell. When they're not together, they're texting. They fall out with each other and make up again, talk about each other behind their backs and have a hard time feeling genuinely happy for one another because they're jealous little things. They can't help it though, it's just the way they are. Being in emotionally charged situations and under pressure to keep the other girls happy so they don't talk shit about them is an everyday thing and you need to be aware of it.

- Girls love sex. They love it more than us and they actually have a harder time getting it than you might think. As I'm sure you're aware, there are huge differences in how society views men and women having casual sex. If a guy has sex with lots of girls, other guys look up to him. No worries. If a girl, on the other hand, has a one night stand with a guy all her friends talk shit behind her back and she gets a reputation. This goes back to my last point. Girls call other girls sluts out of jealousy, because they're exercising the kind of freedom they wish they had. Every girl has fantasies, they all want to be swept off their feet every once in a while and just let loose. Even so, girls don't need the drama that accompanies such freedom so they're very careful about who they sleep with. They will either settle down with a boyfriend so they can have sex when and where they want it, or have casual encounters with guys who are discreet and don't make it blatantly obvious to the world that they're sleeping together.

Alright so just to recap before we go onto the shit I've learned - you need to understand how girls think, what they really want, and why they're scared to go after it. Demonstrate this understanding, and their eyes will light up. Not all girls are the same of course, but through conversation you will learn what she wants and if you can give it to her then by all means do.


Section 2 - Lessons biatch!

Before I begin, it will appear as if this all revolves around your social circle. You can apply all of this stuff to random girls you meet; I only stress the importance of having an existing social network because you need to be used to having girls around you, having an understanding of them, and of course you need to have people to go out with.

Lesson 1- Make friends before you make fuck. It's a very conservative way to put it, I know. Basically, work on your social life before you start gaming girls. Let's say you do a cold approach and things go well. Put yourself in her shoes... nomatter how nice you seem, once she gets to know you and realises you don't have any friends it'll send up warning flags. It's just not congruent. How can a guy with no friends randomly approach a girl and get her number? Something just isn't right about it. So, first and foremost, you need a circle of friends and you must be friendly with at least a couple of girls. This is not an article on creating a social circle though, so asssuming you have friends you hang out with, just do that. Go out more and get to know them better, and have fun. New girls will come into your group once in a while cos they're dating one of the guys or the girls already in the group randomly invited them out. Just be friendly and get to know them, and work on understanding them. Talk about girly shit. If you can talk to them about girly stuff, they will love you. Take solace in the fact that a lot of said girls will want to be with you, so you can turn all your silliness and innuendo into something serious if you feel so inclined. More on this later.

Social circle game is the easiest kind of all because you can get insider knowledge on who is single and who isn't, you all have friends in common and new people in the group feel like they know you already thanks to those friends in common. You instantly have a feeling of rapport and can start sharing stories about good times. It's the easiest thing in the world. Having just 10 friends gives you a group to bring other girls you might happen to meet into, and that's not even necessary because as long as you have a couple of girls in the group already, they're guaranteed to bring more into the group over time. However, like I mentioned before, everything from this point should be applied not just in social circle game, but also to cold approaches and your early interactions with those girls.


Lesson 2 - Treat the girls the same as the guys, simple as that. Don't stand around with guys and girls seperate from each other like a bunch of kids. Involve them in the same activites, mess around with them, and generally be childish. Do guy stuff. Tease them so they hit you on the arm and use that as an excuse to push them or whatever. Have fun, damnit. And when I say be childish, keep a balance... don't go overboard with the teasing, spend time having proper conversations and talking about stuff you've been up to lately. You want to be a down to earth and fun person, not a clown.


Lesson 3 - Be sexual, but not serious. When they get used to it, they expect it. This means you can say literally anything and get away with it, even if it's completely out of the blue. As long as you're smiling, of course.

I've had the pleasure of knowing a few naturals in my time. Back when I was starting out, I was friendly with a guy from the office who taught me a lot of things. He wasn't aware of this of course, because back then I didn't really wanna admit to anyone that I sucked with girls and needed help. He was what you'd call C&F, and since I'd started out on my journey with David D's "double your dating" I was fascinated by the fact that this guy was projecting the attitude that I'd been reading about. So, I watched him and was able to model my behaviour around what he did, lo and behold I started making friends with girls around the office. This is the first thing that I learned - idle chat, when mixed with a sexually fuelled sense of humour, is the shit. Girls are not disgusted by innuendo. It's fun, everyone does it, and when you do it a lot they come to expect it - that's important. Girls know you're not being serious, but there's always that lingering thought in their minds and it creates sexual tension. I touched lightly on this in lesson 1.


Lesson 4 - Be honest. It doesn't matter what it is, just be honest. And be positive about whatever it is. I have a habit of making my intentions very clear right from the start, and it works wonders. Here's why.

She either likes you or she doesn't. All this pickup stuff serves to give you the best chance at attracting a girl to you. And that's fine. What I do actually follows the exact same structure as what you're probably doing right now, just in a different way. Here's my frame - I want her and I'm not gonna waste any time messing around trying to figure out if she likes me first. I'm gonna lay my shit on the line and let her know what's up, and then work on making friends with her.

Wait, what?

Yeah, that's right. It's called mixed messages. Girls do it all the time and a lot of the stuff I've learned has actually been from them; this is one of the most important things I've picked up over the years. First of all, let's look at the early structure of typical indirect game - you approach, do whatever opener, then show disinterest until your target gives you IOIs which you then return as a reward. You're flying under the radar and it's smart, because you're not showing interest in her when she might not really like you. It avoids awkward moments, feels secure, and it works. Is it fun though? Is it really you? If so, that's great! And I mean that... I want you to do what works for you, and keep doing it. This is here for the guys who haven't fully discovered themselves and reached their peak yet.


Section 3 - The structure of a natural.

This is what I've come to learn after all these years. The structure behind what naturals do is exactly the same as what we just looked at, apart from one simple difference. What you do, is use an SOI in the opener.

That's it.

You make your intentions clear in a fun way so you don't come across as too serious, then instead of plowing, have a normal conversation and work on making friends with her. She will be trying to figure out whether or not you're actually hitting on her and of course will have to test you - but here's the golden part! She can't do this the way she might normally; she has to test you genuinely. And the only way for her to do this, is to show her interest. Lemme explain. She can't ask if you're hitting on her because of the delivery of your SOI. You would just smile and say "of course" before getting right back on track, and she still wouldn't know if you were being serious or not. The only way for her to really know if you're serious is to display her interest, if she has any. Then, my children, you can start putting those lessons way up there into action. What if she doesn't display interest though? Well, she doesn't like you then... but she still doesn't know if you're being serious because you're not plowing beyond that first SOI, and that means you can still get a friendship out of it and get her to introduce you to her friends who actually will like you!

I think I've covered pretty much everything, there's a whole lot of stuff floating around my head and my mind is racing as I type all this stuff up, so if anyone feels I've left anything out or would like any more detail on anything I've talked about, post your thoughts!

Very nice post indeed.

I never put too much thought into these things because, well by definition are 'natural'. Really interesting read. You concisely defined the qualities of the popular, outgoing guy, who has no trouble talking to women.

*Claps*

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There are no failures, only feedback.

Get out of my mind d!!! hahaha

But seriously guys....a lot of what d (Solomon II) said is completely true. Especially his description of women in general. I particularly like how he called us "jealous little things" ....and WE ARE!

But anyway, very good post d!

Very nice post.

I have a question. It seem in your post Solomon that you hinted at making female friends, but never said it out right. Would I would be safe to assume that to be a natural it is best to make female friends?

That's a boss post right there. I agree with you on having a social circle (especially one that includes women). Its POSSIBLY pants-down the best currency in getting more interaction with girls. It teaches yoiou to be more at ease when you're around women. I can't say I knew precisely what you've posted here but the competence with which you've done it is eye-opening.

Thanks for the comments guys!

Jurupa, it's extremely important to have female friends. You learn a hell of a lot from them. Aswell as being cool to hang around with, you will get an insight into the female mind. I'm not saying you should get in the friends zone on purpose with girls you like unless you don't have a choice though. The purpose of the SOI is to elicit interest from her so that if she is into you at first, you can do something about it instead of getting stuck in that zone. The reason why some guys have a bunch of female friends but never get what they want from any of them is down to one of the following reasons:

1. They're not paying attention to the girl because all they can focus on is how to get out of that zone and have sex with them.

2. They can read the signs and see opportunities but don't act on them at risk of ruining the friendship.

And for some reason, even though they know what they have to do they continue being nice and doing the same things wth new girls and getting friend-zoned because they think "this one is different". It's mainly down to being afraid to show interest early on.

Your article brings me back to when I was heavy into Wayne Elise's stuff. One thing I will always hang on to in his teachings is that you should make friends with everyone in the room. Even unattractive girls have hot friends afterall.

I recall a story he told in one of his podcasts about meeting, for lack of a better word, fat girl at a bar once. Rather than being mean and dissing her, he made friends with her. He then suggested the two of them approach a group together and then bounced off of her to a hotter girl and left the big girl in the group with new friends. That's has always stuck with me as being a genius move.

I though the time I spent with various moms was worth it due to the stuff they have taught me.
Not to side track the topic, but wouldn't it be fair to say that to a certain extent the same goes for girls?

Solomon the second, when you talk of a "a sexually fuelled sense of humour," how far do you push it?
A great post regardless, i can see you put a few hours into writing that..

nice post dude. i didnt realise how long it was until i finished reading

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V1V

Heh. Nope.
This is probably the toughest question to answer when it comes to this stuff because I learned through watching others, and of course my own personal experience. It all depends on the girl and how well you know her... I can give you some guidelines but as far as examples go, this whole thing is very situational. It's an attitude, not a bunch of lines. You wanna just say whats on your mind.

- Don't make sexual comments directly towards her too early on. You can do this when she is comfortable with you and knows you talk about sex a lot. You want to test the water by making sexual comments about things she says, turn stuff into innuendo and accuse her of being dirty minded. By doing this you can see if she has a sense of humour, and you can tell if it's cool to keep doing it.

- Once you know a girl pretty well and you've established a healthy balance between the filthy guy and the normal guy, then you can actually make personal comments. Interestingly, even when you know a girl really well you can still follow the cold approach formula. Use the comment as an SOI, then talk about normal stuff until you get IOIs and at that stage you can continue to plow with the comments. Or, you could fuck that out the window and just plow regardless. Either way works, depends how safe you wanna play it.

But, what kind of personal comments are ok and how do we deliver them? Well, you can mention something she's wearing being sexy, the way she's done her hair or makeup, whatever. As long as there's something that stands out about her that just makes you want to do dirty nasty things, you can use it. Look up Ciaran's article on Shock & Awe - it says that by stacking SOIs and blaming her hotness for the things you're saying is fucking golden. And he's right.

- Remember, always be smiling when you make innuendo, and especially if the comments are personal. My frame is like this... I'm doing this for fun, not to get into her pants... I'd like to, but I don't take the idea too seriously. This is how you need to be thinking.

Great post DL. Absolutely true about sending mixed messages...drives girls wild.

As a man, I will never understand why this works. But as a reborn PUA, it is perhaps my greatest weapon of conquest.

"Two steps forward, three steps back."

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Interesting stuff, but how does when escalate when sending mixed "friendship messages"?

A friend of mine says that she personally loves the "coffee" method.

Ask the person to go out for some coffee. That's it. This covers your ass if things don't go well, because hey, it's just coffee! Caffeine does all sorts of magic to the pleasure centers of the brain. Escalate the conversation slowly, shifting from general fun banter to topics of a sexual nature. Innuendos help.

Personally I'm into more active dates, I think it would be so awesome if I could meet a girl my age who knows jiu jitsu. Anything that gets the blood pumping is good when escalating past the "mixed messages" friendship stage.

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Thats what i was looking for, example:

Damn girl why did you have to wear that skirt, now i cant concentrate on what im doing

Hey i like your nails (like you just noticed them..)I find it really sexy when girl has a long nails/big earrings or w/e

Or this one which is longer one but its cool

I was reading somewhere when a girl is wearing (you can put anything here +color) it means she is very sexual or maybe even horny...people wear different color clothes based on their mood. (now you can point at some1 and say something funny like: see that kid over there i can tell his girlfriend pissed him off yesterday that is why he is wearing ..... or w/e funny shit that can come to your mind

This its a great start to convo about society, men and women etc etc.

Peace